20 Best Dr. Smith Quotes

Maureen: Do you ever feel guilty about anything you do?
Dr. Smith: Guilt is like a stomachache from overeating. You make all sorts of promises while you're feeling it, but once it passes you just get hungry again.

Will: Can you keep this a secret?
Dr. Smith: It's something I'm good at it.

Maureen: Go to hell!
Dr. Smith: We're already there, Maureen. It's up to you whether or not your family makes it out of there before they get burned.

Penny: Smith! Are you still there?
Dr. Smith: Of course!
Penny: You sure we're doing this right?
Dr. Smith: Absolutely! In the Girl Scouts this is how we kept track of each other on nature hikes. Once you're out of earshot, if anything goes wrong, just tug on the line, and I'll know you need help.
Penny: You were in the Girl Scouts?
Dr. Smith: Is that so hard to believe?
Penny: Okay, then answer me this. Do you have any Thin Mints?
Will: Penny!
Penny: What? You know cookes help me when I'm nervous.

Will: Hey, wake up.
Dr. Smith: Are we on Alpha Centauri? Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Will: We had a chance to save our parents. We took a vote.
Dr. Smith: That's funny. I don't remember getting a vote.
Will: And I don't remember you being a ten to 16-year-old kid, but you ended up on our Jupiter.
Dr. Smith: Fair point.

Dr. Smith: When starting a game of cat and mouse you better make damn sure you're the cat.
Ben: Can I help you?
Dr. Smith: No, but I can help you. You want to catch a Robinson, you need to think like a Robinson...

Dr. Smith: Did you bake me a cake with a file in it?
Maureen: I don't bake. And you don't need a file. When I was reviewing the passenger list for Solidarity's maiden voyage from Earth, I came across the name... Jessica Harris, authorized by Dr. Zoe Smith. Who is she?
Dr. Smith: My sister... technically. She's disowned me.
Maureen: Then she doesn't know who you really are.
Dr. Smith: I'm not sure I know who I am at this point.
Maureen: I do. When you get out of here, look me up.

Dr. Smith: Dr. Zoe Smith. It's so nice to have another adult here.
Grant: Judy mentioned you too.
Dr. Smith: Hmm. Was it a brief mention, or did she go into detail?
Grant: She said you were the French teacher.
Dr. Smith: Mmm.
Grant: [in French] Where did you learn French?
Dr. Smith: France.

Dr. Smith: Be careful how tight you hold that bird, Don. You don't wanna choke your chicken.
Don: [to Debbie] Relax, she's makin' a joke. We don't listen to the crazy lady.

Maureen: We need to restore the airflow to the ventilation system if you want to breathe when we get back into space.
Dr. Smith: Happy to help. I love breathing.

Will: You followed me here?
Dr. Smith: Honestly, if I had known if it would have been this far, I wouldn't have.

Dr. Smith: You should have told me you found this, Don.
Don: What's the point of telling you something you already know?
Dr. Smith: We're supposed to be partners.
Don: We're not partners. We're just two people with a mutually beneficial pact to stay out of each other's way.
Dr. Smith: Is holding incriminating evidence staying out of my way? I ruin people for a living, Don, and I make a very good living. Are we clear?

Dr. Smith: [to Will] You and the Robot are going to do something foolish and heroic, aren't you?

Dr. Smith: Before I go out there, I need to know, are we good?
Judy: We're bracing for an alien attack. Will's in critical condition, and... and you're worried about being arrested?
Dr. Smith: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, right?

Dr. Smith: It's okay to be afraid. To want to save yourself.
Will: No, it's not.
Dr. Smith: Self-preservation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's how we learn to survive.

Don: I'll let you in on a trade secret. The answer to the question "Can you fix this?"is always "Yes."
Dr. Smith: Even if you can't?
Don: Especially if you can't. Then you just add that you gotta find the right tool.
Dr. Smith: So you're gonna bullshit our way to safety.
Don: Yep.

Dr. Smith: Which seat's mine?
Maureen: I thought you were supposed to be dead.
Dr. Smith: I was to be a lot of things. None of those worked out either.
Maureen: I saw your shattered helmet. I - How did you get...
Penny: She stowed away on our Jupiter. She's been with us the whole time.
Dr. Smith: I helped take care of the kids, Maureen.
Penny: It's true. She's like a less drunk Miss Hannigan.

Dr. Smith: Your elbow has boldly gone where no man has...

Dr. Smith: I know I'm not in a position to ask for anything, but when you decide what to say about me, I hope you remember all the good I've done.
Maureen: It doesn't even come close to making up for the bad.
Dr. Smith: Come on, Maureen. There's a little good and bad in all of us. Nobody's hands are completely clean. Not even yours.
Maureen: There something you want to say?
Dr. Smith: I know you're the kind of woman who would do whatever's necessary to protect the ones she loves. The only difference between you and me is the only one I love is myself.
Maureen: If you really loved yourself, you'd stop pretending to be someone you're not. Good luck, Dr. Smith. Jessica Harris. Whoever you are.

Dr. Smith: The only thing that's worse than being bad is being powerless.