The Best Duncan Quotes

Duncan: [Courtney and Duncan, both dressed as deer, return to camp with their antlers locked together] The girl can't keep her antlers off me.
[Courtney kicks him in the crotch]
Duncan: Can't... even... bend... over

Duncan: [Owen is hiding in a tree, trying to get a shot at Duncan with his paintball gun. Owen farts loudly, causing the leaves to fall off the tree and expose him] Nice try Fartacus! You almost had me!
[Duncan runs away]

[LeShawna farts in Duncan's general direction]
Duncan: Dude, we have to get outta here!
Harold: [blocking the exit] Not until you say we're a team.
[LeShawna farts again, louder this time]
Duncan: Who cares when we're gonna die of toxic butt poisoning!

Noah: You got my memo about my life-threatening allergies?
Chris: I'm sure someone did.
Noah: Good. Is this where we're staying?
Duncan: No. It's your mother's house, and we're throwing a party!
Noah: Cute. Nice piercings, original. Did you do them yourself?
Duncan: [grabs Noah's lip] Yeah! You want one?
Noah: No, thanks. Can I have my lip back, please?

Harold: [LeShawna's stomach gurgles loudly] That ominous warning usually means a really bad one is coming!
Duncan: [Incredulously] There are worse ones?

[Gwen and Scott are sitting at a table in the McLean brand Spa Hotel about to eat breakfast]
Scott: [starts speaking off-screen] Oh, I am digging this. I can't wait to be a millionaire! I got up at 5 A.M. this morning to watch the releasing of the doves, and I'm just going to say it,
[emotionally]
Scott: it was beautiful!
[Duncan walks over to the table]
Duncan: Yeah, this is the life. And if we keep winning challenges, we can live like this all-season. To villainy!
[Scott and Duncan's glasses clink]
Gwen: Yeah...
[groans]
Gwen: villainy.
Duncan: [to Gwen] Sup with you doll face.
Gwen: What? Oh, uh, nothing. Just uh, you know, wondering how Lightning's doing on Boney Island.

[from: Sierra, Owen, Cody, Alejandro, Duncan, Courtney, & Heather walking up to Chris]
Chris: So, Niagara Falls is pretty awesome, eh?
Heather: It almost killed us!
Chris: Like I said -- awesome. The falls is the jewel in Canada's crown and one of the top ten wonders in the world. It's also known for it's fabulous casino, which is where we'll be headed for the first part of the challenge.
Duncan: [laughing] Oh, man, seriously?
[cut to the contestants dried off and in the casino]
Duncan: [disappointed] Seriously?

Duncan: All this sadness!
Harold: All these tears!
Duncan: Dude, no tears! That was just our eyes watering off Leshawna's butt blasts!

Duncan: What's going on in here?
Heather: I'm trying not to puke is all.
LeShawna: Y'all. I really think it might be over now. I'm feelin' much...
[Leshawna farts loudly]
Heather: Ugh! I am out!

Alejandro: [to Duncan] I know you have a fondness for that... rotund individual
[referring to Owen]
Alejandro: but such popularity makes him a threat.
Duncan: Yeah, alright and?
Alejandro: Help me vote him off tonight and I'll let you pick who goes next. If it's Courtney, so be it.
Duncan: Deal.
Duncan: [in the confessional] So, I let him think I was going along with it. Nobody tells me what to do.

Katie: So, uh, what do we do now?
Courtney: We have to figure out who we should vote off.
Duncan: Well, I think it should be princess or the brick house here.
[referring to Courtney and DJ]
Courtney: What? Why?
Duncan: Because, unless I'm mistaken, you two are the only ones here wearing chicken hats, and if we ever have to lift a truck, I like our odds with the big guy.
Courtney: You guys need me! I'm the only one...
Bridgette: [annoyed] We know, who used to be a real C.I.T. so who would you pick?
Courtney: What about him?
[points at Tyler]
Lindsay: [shouts] No!
[pauses]
Lindsay: I mean, no... salt. There's no salt on the table. Bummer.
Duncan: Hey, at least he jumped off the cliff, chicken wing!
Courtney: Shut up!
Geoff: Okay, let's just chill out. This is getting way too heavy.
Duncan: Ah, I've had enough prison food for one day. I'm gonna go have a nap.
Courtney: You can't do that! We haven't decided who's going yet!
Ezekiel: Well, I don't get why we lost, eh. They're the ones that have six girls.
[Katie and Sadie gasp]
Bridgette: What's that supposed to mean?
Eva: Yeah, home school. Enlighten us!
Ezekiel: Well, guys are much stronger and better at sports than girls are.
Geoff: Oh, snap, he did not just say that!
Ezekiel: My dad told me to look out for the girls here, eh, and help 'em unless they can't keep up.
Eva: [grabs Ezekiel by the throat] Still think we need your help keeping up?
Ezekiel: Not really.
Geoff: Okay, guys, let's give him a break. I mean, at least he doesn't think that guys are smarter than girls.
Ezekiel: But... they are.

Duncan: [covering his nose] It smells like bleu cheese in here!
LeShawna: I'm so sorry. I feel like I really let the team down.
Duncan: You think? Harold, what have you been doing all this time?
Harold: Trying to keep the team together, no thanks to you. Or Miss Toxic Emissions here.
LeShawna: Be mad at Chef! He made the stupid smoothies!

Chris: [On the loudspeaker] Listen up, campers, as of right now all teams are officially dissolved. From here on in, it's every camper for themselves.
Duncan: [clears throat] Well, it's about time we flew solo.
LeShawna: Oh, I am feeling that bring it on Chris.
Chris: Then get ready for this.
[Boat horn blows, Bridgette and Gwen are standing right next to each other and both gasp]
LeShawna: You're fronting me.
Heather: What? But that's impossible.
[Heather and Lindsay are noticeably on edge]
Trent: Aw, man. What is she doing here?
[Eva appaears on the boat with a blaze of hellfire and dramatic music]
Chris: Back by popular audience, it's Eva.
[Eva gets off the boat and on the Dock of Shame with her body clenched with anger]
Eva: That's right, I'm back. Just so we're clear not only am I going to kick butt, but I'm also giving special attention to my backstabbing Bass team that voted me off!
Gwen: [to Chris] Wait a sec. You said no one was allowed back.
Chris: I did?
Gwen: And once you leave...
[Cut to various clips of Chris say and once you leave on the Dock of Shame, on the Boat of Losers, you can never, ever, never ever, come back]
Chris: Oh, yeah, that. You see, I lied.
Gwen: You can't do that do to us, it's not fair.
LeShawna: [to Gwen] Whoa, girl, you're reasoning with a loudspeaker, that doesn't look good.
[cut to Bridgette, there is some noticeably heavy breathing that quickly turns out to be Eva]