The Best Financial Advisor Quotes

Financial: Committing to a five-year investment will guarantee you a 5% return, Ms. Genoa. As for security, our server room is reinforced with military-grade steel alloys.
Sue: Hmm, sounds wonderfully impenetrable.
Ralph: [knocking on the door] Yeah, but nothing is impenetrable. Isn't that right, Ms. Dearbon?
Financial: Dearbon? You said your name was Genoa, like the salami.
Sue: [in Italian] I should've stuck with acting.
Ralph: Yeah, you know, she lied about that. It's kind of her thing. She is *stupid* rich, though.
Financial: Oh. In that case... how do you two know each other? Are you married?
Ralph: Gross.