The Best Howard Pincham Quotes

Arthur: Howard! I didn't think they let Harvard men in here unescorted.
Howard: I'm meeting O'Keefe for dinner.
Arthur: [Holding newspaper] Did you see this? Second Circuit reversed Barsky.
Howard: I could have you disbarred for this, Arthur.
Arthur: For having a drink?
Howard: You told McCoy I visited Tianjin. Just because you left the firm doesn't mean you can disclose confidential information about my dealings with clients.
Arthur: If you recall, I skipped your home movies of that trip.
Howard: Splitting hairs doesn't become you, Arthur. We'll just have to see what the Ethics Committee thinks. Unless of course...
Arthur: Are you trying to extort a deal out of me, Howard?
Howard: A proposal, that's all. Suppose I turn my back on this Bar Association thing, and you agree to send Mr. Chen back to China.
Arthur: So he can be tried for murder by his own people.
Howard: Exactly - by a culture that understands him.
Arthur: Sounds good.
Howard: Ah, I knew you'd be reasonable.
Arthur: Reasonable, but not stupid. Back home, Chen might receive a medal of honor for murdering Helen Quan.
Howard: You love this, don't you? Squeezing me into a corner.
Arthur: Just doin' my job.
Howard: Only Chen didn't kill that girl and you don't have any evidence to prove he did.
Arthur: And he doesn't have an alibi. We know he wasn't feeling particularly frisky that night.
Howard: If you're talking about the call girls, that's not Chen's thing.
Arthur: What is?
Howard: A dry vodka martini from the Beekman Hotel around the corner.

Jack: You know, Mr. Chen, I've been thinking of traveling to China.
Li: I'm very happy for you...
Jack: Of course, I'd go to Beijing, but I'd wanna see more. Would your hometown be of any interest?
Li: Well, Tianjin is a beautiful city.
Jack: But would an American appreciate its beauty? Well, Mr. Pincham thought so.
Howard: Stop.
Howard: You visited Tianjin, did you?
Howard: That has no bearing on this case.
Jack: On the contrary. If we go to trial, I could call you as a witness to testify about the detention camps, or lack thereof, whatever the case may be. That puts you... No, that puts your entire firm in a precarious legal position. Serena, why don't you start drafting a brief to have Mr. Pincham's law firm disqualified?
Howard: This is ridiculous.
Jack: Perhaps. But look at all those fees your firm will lose if a judge agrees with me.

Judge: How does your client plead?
Howard: He doesn't.
Judge: Excuse me?
Judge: Mr. Chen has consular immunity. It was improper for these charges to have been brought against him at all. I demand that you release him immediately.
Judge: You know, I'd love to, Mr. Pincham, but your client's charged with murder, not a parking ticket.
Howard: Your sarcasm offends me, Your Honor.
Judge: Then go back to the white-collar world where people say "please" before they screw you to the wall. Now, you've got until "three" to give me a plea. One...
Li: Not Guilty, Your Honor.
Howard: With the stipulation on the record that this is not an implicit submission to this court's jurisdiction.
Judge: You know, M. Chen, your attorney's worth every penny he's picking from your pocket.
Serena: Your Honor, under the circumstances, the risk of flight is high...
Judge: Save your breath, Counselor. Defendant is remanded without bail.