Top 50 Quotes From The Princess Bride

Inigo: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Man: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man: That does put a damper on our relationship.

The: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...
[cut to Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik]
The: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...
[cut to the trio again]
The: So tweasure your wuv.
Prince: Skip to the end.
The: Have you the wing?
[cut to the trio once more]
The: ...and do you, Pwincess Buwwercup...
Prince: Man and wife. Say man and wife.
The: Man an' wife.

[last lines]
The: Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
Grandpa: As you wish.

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

[On arriving at the Fire Swamp]
Westley: It's not that bad.
[Buttercup looks at him incredulously]
Westley: Well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.

Miracle: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
[Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]

Prince: Surrender.
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

[repeated line]
Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Inigo: [falls to his knees] Kill me quickly.
Man: I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you follow me either...
[knocks Inigo unconscious]
Man: Please understand I hold you in the highest respect.

Miracle: Have fun stormin' da castle.
Valerie: Think it'll work?
Miracle: It would take a miracle.

Inigo: But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Man: That's VERY comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
Inigo: I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
Man: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Inigo: Isn't there any way you trust me?
Man: Nothing comes to mind.
Inigo: I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Man: Throw me the rope.

Westley: Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Roberts has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.'

Westley: Why won't my arms move?
Fezzik: You've been mostly-dead all day.

Prince: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain means." It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Prince: I think you're bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Westley: DROP... YOUR... SWORD!
Prince: [Humperdinck's mouth hangs open, drops sword to floor]

Grandpa: It was ten days to the wedding. The King still lived, but Buttercup's nightmares were growing steadily worse.
The: See, didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Humperdinck?
Grandpa: Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.

Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik: I could kill you now.
Man: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

Man: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
Man: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
Man: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose... what in the world can that be?
[Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. The Man in Black looks backwards. Vizzini swaps the goblets]
Man: What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. But no matter.
[Vizzini tries to hold back laughter]
Man: What's so funny?
Vizzini: I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[Vizzini and the Man in Black drink]
Man: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
[Vizzini stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground dead. The Man in Black removes the blindfold from Buttercup's head]
Man: You all right?
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

Buttercup: You can die too for all I care!
[pushes him down a high hill]
Man: AS... YOU... WISH!
Buttercup: [realizes the Man in Black is Westley] Oh, my sweet Westley! What have I done?
[throws herself down the hill]

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo: Let me explain.
[pause]
Inigo: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
Inigo: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
Westley: And our assets?
Inigo: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.

Miracle: Beat it or I'll call the Brute Squad.
Fezzik: I'm on the Brute Squad.
Miracle: [sees Fezzik] You ARE the Brute Squad!

Miracle: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him.
Inigo: He's dead. He can't talk.
Miracle: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
Inigo: What's that?
Miracle: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Man: Oh no, it's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

[repeated line]
Vizzini: Inconceivable!

Buttercup: You mock my pain.
Man: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Inigo: You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, ah?
Man: I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain.
Inigo: Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro?
Man: Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro. Don't you?
Inigo: Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa... which I have!

Inigo: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.
Inigo: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH!

Man: You've done nothing but study swordplay?
Inigo: More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been twenty years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Man: Well I certainly hope you find him someday.
Inigo: You are ready then?
Man: Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
Inigo: You seem a decent fellow... I hate to kill you.
Man: You seem a decent fellow... I hate to die.
Inigo: Begin.

Westley: We are men of action, lies do not become us.

Buttercup: Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately?
Buttercup: I got married. I didn't want to - it all happened so fast.
Westley: Never happened.
Buttercup: What?
Westley: Never happened.
Buttercup: But it did! I was there; this old man said 'man and wife.'
Westley: Did you say 'I do?'
Buttercup: Um, no... we sort of skipped that part.
Westley: Then you're not married. You didn't say it; you didn't do it.
Westley: [to the Prince who has just entered the room] Wouldn't you agree, Your Highness?
Prince: A technicality that will shortly be remedied.

Inigo: Who are you?
Man: No one of consequence.
Inigo: I must know...
Man: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo: Que.

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?

[after defeating Fezzik, who lays on the ground unconscious]
Man: I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.

Inigo: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[Inigo advances on Rugen, but stumbles into the table with sudden pain. Rugen attacks, but Inigo parries and rises to his feet again]
Inigo: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[Rugen attacks again, Inigo parries more fiercely, gaining strength]
Inigo: Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
Count: Stop saying that!
[Rugen: ]
Inigo: HELLO! MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!
[Inigo corners Count Rugen, knocks his sword aside, and slashes his cheek, giving him a scar just like Inigo's]
Inigo: Offer me money.
Count: Yes!
Inigo: Power, too, promise me that.
[He slashes his other cheek]
Count: All that I have and more. Please...
Inigo: Offer me anything I ask for.
Count: Anything you want...
[Rugen knocks Inigo's sword aside and lunges. But Inigo traps his arm and aims his sword at Rugen's stomach]
Inigo: I want my father back, you son of a bitch!
[He runs Count Rugen through and shoves him back against the table. Rugen falls to the floor, dead]

Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Count: Stop saying that!

Miracle: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.

Inigo: You are wonderful.
Man: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo: Because I know something you don't know.
Man: And what is that?
Inigo: I am not left-handed.
[switches sword to his other hand, and begins to fight far more successfully]
Man: You are amazing.
Inigo: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo: Tell me.
Man: I'm not left-handed either.
[switches his own sword to his other hand, suddenly driving Inigo back]

Dread: Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Grandpa: Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
Buttercup: Farm boy... fetch me that pitcher.
Westley: As you wish.
The: Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports?
The: Is this a kissing book?
Grandpa: Wait, just wait.
The: Well, when does it get good?
Grandpa: Keep your shirt on, and let me read.

Inigo: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Man: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Miracle: You got any money?
Inigo: Sixty-five.
Miracle: I've never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause.
Inigo: This is noble, sir. His wife is... crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation.
Miracle: Are you a rotten liar!
Inigo: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years.
Miracle: Your first story was better.

Inigo: Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

Miracle: [Lifts and drops the arm of the dead Westley] I've seen worse.

Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.

Westley: No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley.

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need.

The: A book?
Grandpa: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you.
The: Has it got any sports in it?
Grandpa: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...
The: Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake.
Grandpa: Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

Vizzini: Finish him. Finish him, your way.
Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini... what's my way?
Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend, the minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock.
Fezzik: My way's not very sportsman-like.