The Best J.T. Quotes

J.T.: Hey there, little Yankee boy. Look what I got.
Vinny: What is it?
J.T.: Two hundred dollars.
Vinny: Bring it here, let me see it.
Vinny: [as J.T. presents a roll of bills] How do I know that's not a bunch of ones with a twenty wrapped around it?
J.T.: [after short pause] It's two hundred bucks.
Vinny: Fan it out, show it to me.
Vinny: [as J.T. stuffs the roll back in his pocket] Yeah, right.

Vinny: I understand you played a game of pool with Lisa for two hundred dollars, which she won. I'm here to collect.
J.T.: How 'bout if I just kick your ass?
Vinny: Oh, a counter-offer. That's what we lawyers - I'm a lawyer - we lawyers call that a counter-offer. This is a tough decision here. Get my ass kicked or collect two hundred dollars. Let me think... I could use a good ass-kickin', I'll be very honest with you... nah, I think I'll just go with the two hundred.
J.T.: Over my dead body.
Vinny: You like to renegotiate as you go along, don't you? Well, here's my counter-offer... Do I have to kill you? What if I were just to kick the ever-loving shit out of you?
J.T.: In your dreams.
Vinny: Oh, no, no... in reality. If I was to kick the shit out of you, do I get the money?
J.T.: [in disbelief] You kick the shit out of me.
Vinny: Yeah.
J.T.: Yeah. You get the money.
Vinny: So, here are my options. Option A: I get my ass kicked, or Option B: I kick your ass and collect the two hundred. I think I'm gonna go with Option B: Kickin' your ass and collecting two hundred dollars.
[Vinny takes off his jacket]
J.T.: We're gonna fight now?
Vinny: Yeah. But first, show me the money.
J.T.: I have it.
Vinny: You have it, then show it to me.
J.T.: [pause] I can get it.
Vinny: You can get it? Okay, get it. Then we'll fight.
[Vinny takes his jacket from Lisa]