20 Best Kemp Quotes

Paul: Oscar Wilde once said, "Nowadays, people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing."

Paul: So many hotels you can't see the sea.
Lotterman: You can see the sea by checking into the hotels.
Paul: Pay to see the sea?
Lotterman: What's the matter with that? You're paying to be in the dream...

Paul: I don't know how to write like me.

Lotterman: What do you know about horoscopes?
Paul: Nothing.
Lotterman: Ah, well, if I can write one, you can. So it's every day with a special "Star's Star" featured Saturday with Betty Grable and Neil Sedaka, things like that. So here, everything you need is right there. It's called "Madam La Zonga Predicts."
Paul: What happened to Madam La Zonga?
Sala: He got canceled.
Paul: What do you mean, fired?
Lotterman: They raped him to death.
Paul: They raped him to death?
Sala: There are very few places on this island I decline to visit, but the toilets frequented by sailors on the west side of Candado Pier is one.
Paul: They raped him to death?

Moburg: [being examined] Is it Clap?
Paul: [grimacing] A standing ovation.

Moburg: Maybe I can interest you gentlemen in something else.
Paul: Like what? Death?
Moburg: Like the most powerful drug in the history of narcotics. I'm not at liberty to discuss or disclose; all I can tell you is: this stuff is so powerful, they give it to communists.
Paul: Who does?
Moburg: The FBI.
Sala: Why would the FBI get communists high?
Moburg: That I can't help you with.

Lotterman: How does anyone drink 161 miniatures?
Paul: Are they not complimentary?

[from trailer]
Paul: I thought maybe you were a mermaid.
Chenault: I'm from Connecticut.

Paul: Beasts of obesity. Asses that wouldn't feel an arrow. The great whites. Probably the most dangerous creatures on earth.

Paul: I thought you said you had a TV.
Sala: No, the guy across the alley has a TV. I have binoculars.

Paul: Why did she have to happen? Just when I was doing so good without her.

Paul: (About Nixon in the debate with JFK) How long can this blizzard of shame go on?
Paul: Look at this ingrate besotted with his own righteousness.

Chenault: Where are you going?
Paul: Her friend's playing in a band. We're gonna go check it out.
Chenault: Oh, we wanna come.
Sanderson: I'll rephrase that: We don't wanna come.

Paul: I've got a tongue
[trying to lick his lips]
Paul: like a towel.

Paul: [Kemp and Sala are wandering down a pier late at night, high on hallucinogens] I thought I was losing grip in there. What did we take?
Sala: I don't know.
Paul: We need to get some more.
[Kemp stops to stare at a tank full of lobsters]
Paul: [quietly] That explains it... doesn't it?
Sala: Explains what?
Paul: The world... and us.
[he stares deep into the eyes of one particular lobster]
Paul: [voiceover] I wonder what it is you might think about our different worlds. He looked at me kinda sideways and said, "Human beings are the only creatures on Earth who claim a God, and the only living thing that behaves like it hasn't got one. Does the world belong to no one but you?" And when he said it, I was taken aback. Not because of who was doing the talking. Because I finally understood the connection between children scavenging for food, and shiny brass plates on the front doors of banks.

Paul: Do you smell it? It's the smell of bastards. It's also the smell of truth.

Lotterman: [after mentioning that the former writer, male, of the horoscopes was raped to death in a public toilet] Say, you're not .uuh. artistic, are you Kemp?
Paul: Oh no
Lotterman: Y'might wanna rethink those menthol cigarettes

Paul: Practically every major corporation hides its money offshore. And that is good news for us, because *we* are the the shore.

Paul: What's your name?
Chenault: Let's keep that a secret.
Paul: But I don't even know it.
Chenault: Then you'll keep it even better.

Paul: The only upside with Nixon is he ain't gonna win.
Sala: He's got the grin.
Paul: He ain't gonna win. Irish guy's gonna win. But don't ever let him live.
Sala: Well how do you know that?
Paul: I do horoscopes.