Top 30 Quotes From Lady Bird McPherson

Christine: Different things can be sad... it's not all war!

[first lines]
Christine: [while doing house chores] Do you think I look like I'm from Sacramento?
Marion: You are from Sacramento.
Christine: You don't have to do that.
Marion: Well, it's nice to make things neat and clean. You ready to go home?
Christine: Ready.

Kyle: I didn't lose my virginity to you.
Christine: Wait, what?
Kyle: I lost my virginity to Cassie Duvall.
Christine: Excuse me? You said you were a virgin.
Kyle: No, I didn't. 'Cause I'm not. And I haven't lied in two years.

Christine: Uh, it's my parents' number.
Kyle: You don't have a cell phone?
Christine: No.
Kyle: Good girl. The government didn't have to put tracking devices on us. We bought them and put them on ourselves.
Christine: I don't own a tracking device.
Kyle: No, no, no. The cellphones. You see?
Christine: Wow.
Kyle: Yeah I know. I mean, you'll have one eventually. Everyones gonna have one. And then, it'll be a matter of time.
Christine: Before what?
Kyle: Before they put them in our brains.

[Lady Bird is angry with Kyle]
Christine: Are we still going to prom together?

Christine: I was on top! Who the fuck is on top their first time!

Father: Lady Bird. Is that your given name?
Christine: Yeah.
Father: Why is it in quotes?
Christine: Well, I gave it to myself. It's given to me, by me.

Christine: I just don't get why I'm not good at math. My dad is really good at math. Even Miguel has a math degree.
Julie: Maybe it's your mom's fault.

Marion: If you're tired, we can sit down.
Christine: I'm not tired.
Marion: Oh, okay. I just couldn't tell because you were dragging your feet.
Marion: [Lady Bird rolls her eyes] Well, I just couldn't tell.
Christine: Why didn't you just say "pick up your feet"?
Marion: I didn't know if you were tired.
Christine: You're being passive aggressive.
Marion: No, I wasn't.
Christine: You are SO INFURIATING!
Marion: Please stop yelling.
Christine: I'm not yelling.
Christine: [Marion picks out a pink dress] Oh, it's perfect!
Marion: Do you love it?

Julie: Miss Patty assigned you a role by the way, you just never showed up to claim it.
Christine: What role ?
Julie: The Tempest.
Christine: There is no role of the Tempest!
Julie: It is the titular role!
Christine: No! It's a made-up thing so we all can participate.
Julie: You can't do anything unless you're the center of attention, can you!
Christine: Yeah, well you know, your mom's tits, they're fake! Totally fake!
Julie: She made one bad decision at 19!
Christine: Two bad decisions!

Guidance: So I understand you're not interested in any Catholic colleges?
Christine: No way. Sorry, but yes, no way.
Guidance: Then you'll be applying to UCs and State schools?
Christine: Yeah, but also those East Coast liberal arts schools. Like Yale, but not Yale because I probably couldn't get in.
Guidance: [laughs inappropriately] You definitely couldn't get in. Part of my job is to help you be realistic.
Christine: Yeah. That seems like everyone's job.

Marion: I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be.
Christine: What if this is the best version?

Sister: Some of the students were disturbed by your posters.
Christine: It's just a bird head in a lady body, or vice versa.
Sister: I think it's a little upsetting.
Christine: It's my tradition to run for office. Don't worry, I won't win.

Christine: You know, you can touch my boobs, right?
Danny: I know. It's just that I respect you too much for that.
Christine: Cool. Awesome. I totally get that. Thank you.
Danny: You're welcome.
Christine: If you had boobs, I wouldn't touch them either.

Christine: I hate California, I want to go to the East Coast. I want to go where culture is like, New York, or Connecticut or New Hampshire.

Christine: People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God.

Christine: The only thing exciting about 2002 is that it's a palindrome.

Christine: Just because something looks ugly doesn't mean that it's morally wrong.
Casey: You think dead children aren't morally wrong?
Christine: No. I'm just saying that, if you took up close pictures of my vagina while I was on my period, it would be disturbing but it doesn't make it wrong.
Casey: Excuse me?
Christine: Listen, if your mother had had the abortion, we wouldn't have to sit through this stupid assembly!

Christine: What I'd really like is to be on Math Olympiad.
Sister: But math isn't something you're terribly strong in.
Christine: That we know of yet.

Darlene: You're not supposed to eat the wafers.
Christine: They're not consecrated.

Christine: If Danny and I get married and then his grandma died, I'd inherit the dream house.
Julie: Wouldn't his parents get it?
Christine: Oh yeah, we'd have to kill them. And we'd have to kill his older brothers, too.

[last lines]
Christine: Hi, Mom and Dad, it's me, Christine. It's the name you gave me. It's a good one. Dad, this is more for Mom. Hey, Mom, did you feel emotional the first time that you drove in Sacramento? I did and I wanted to tell you, but we weren't really talking when it happened. All those bends I've known my whole life, and stores, and the whole thing. But I wanted to tell you I love you. Thank you, I'm... thank you.

Christine: The only exciting thing about 2002 is that it's a palindrome.

Christine: Hey.
[pause]
Christine: I like your band. With Jonah Ruiz? L'Enfance Nue?
Kyle: [in french accent] L'Enfance Nue.
Christine: Uh. Well, I saw your Thanksgiving show. My name's Lady Bird.
Kyle: It's weird you shake hands.
Christine: Yeah.
[pause]
Christine: I'm friends with Jenna and she's always talking about how great your band is so I wanted to check it out.
Kyle: Yeah, Jenna's hella tight.
Christine: Yeah.
Kyle: Maybe I'll see you at the Deuce or something?
Christine: Sure, see you at the Deuce.
Miguel: Hey, I'm not paying you to flirt.
Christine: [exhales] I wasn't flirting.
Kyle: I wish you had been.

Kyle: What you do is very baller. You're very anarchist.
Christine: Yeah. Fuck' em.
Kyle: Don't worry, I'm not gonna snitch on you.
Christine: Well, I hope not 'cause I'd fucking kill your family.
Kyle: What?
Christine: Sorry. I... that was an exaggeration.
Kyle: It's okay. My dad has cancer, so I guess God's doing that for us.

Christine: Are you and Mom gonna get a divorce over this?
Larry: No. We can't afford to.

Marion: We don't need to buy that.
Christine: It's only three dollars. I'm having a hard week.
Marion: Well, if you wanna read it, we can go down to the public library.
Christine: I wanna read it in bed.
Marion: That's something that rich people do. We're not rich people.

Christine: It's normal to not touch a penis

Danny: Your mom is crazy. I'm scared of her.
Christine: She's not crazy. She just, you know, she has a big heart. She's very warm.
Danny: I don't find your mother warm.
Christine: You don't?
Danny: No. No, she's warm, yeah, but she's also kind of scary.
Christine: Well, you can't be scary and warm.
Danny: I think you can, your mom is.
Christine: You're gay!

Sister: You clearly love Sacramento.
Christine: I do?
Sister: You write about Sacramento so affectionately and with such care.
Christine: I was just describing it.
Sister: Well, it comes across as love.
Christine: Sure, I guess I pay attention.
Sister: Don't you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?