30 Best Lady Bird Quotes

[first lines]
Christine: [while doing house chores] Do you think I look like I'm from Sacramento?
Marion: You are from Sacramento.
Christine: You don't have to do that.
Marion: Well, it's nice to make things neat and clean. You ready to go home?
Christine: Ready.

Marion: Money is not life's report card. Being successful doesn't mean anything in and of itself. It just means that you're successful. But that doesn't mean that you're happy.

Marion: I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be.
Christine: What if this is the best version?

Christine: It's normal to not touch a penis

Julie: Some people aren't built happy, you know.

Christine: You know, you can touch my boobs, right?
Danny: I know. It's just that I respect you too much for that.
Christine: Cool. Awesome. I totally get that. Thank you.
Danny: You're welcome.
Christine: If you had boobs, I wouldn't touch them either.

Christine: Uh, it's my parents' number.
Kyle: You don't have a cell phone?
Christine: No.
Kyle: Good girl. The government didn't have to put tracking devices on us. We bought them and put them on ourselves.
Christine: I don't own a tracking device.
Kyle: No, no, no. The cellphones. You see?
Christine: Wow.
Kyle: Yeah I know. I mean, you'll have one eventually. Everyones gonna have one. And then, it'll be a matter of time.
Christine: Before what?
Kyle: Before they put them in our brains.

Father: Lady Bird. Is that your given name?
Christine: Yeah.
Father: Why is it in quotes?
Christine: Well, I gave it to myself. It's given to me, by me.

Christine: I found when it happened that I really like dry humping more.

Christine: I was on top! Who the fuck is on top their first time!

Christine: Why can't you say I look nice?
Marion: I thought you didn't even care what I think.
Christine: I still want you to think I look good.
Marion: Okay, I'm sorry. I was telling you the truth, do you want me to lie?
Christine: No, I mean, I just, I wish that you liked me.
Marion: Of course I love you.
Christine: But do you like me?

Sister: You clearly love Sacramento.
Christine: I do?
Sister: You write about Sacramento so affectionately and with such care.
Christine: I was just describing it.
Sister: Well, it comes across as love.
Christine: Sure, I guess I pay attention.
Sister: Don't you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?

Julie: Miss Patty assigned you a role by the way, you just never showed up to claim it.
Christine: What role ?
Julie: The Tempest.
Christine: There is no role of the Tempest!
Julie: It is the titular role!
Christine: No! It's a made-up thing so we all can participate.
Julie: You can't do anything unless you're the center of attention, can you!
Christine: Yeah, well you know, your mom's tits, they're fake! Totally fake!
Julie: She made one bad decision at 19!
Christine: Two bad decisions!

Larry: Hey, I'm like Keith Richards. I'm just happy to be anywhere.

Marion: We don't need to buy that.
Christine: It's only three dollars. I'm having a hard week.
Marion: Well, if you wanna read it, we can go down to the public library.
Christine: I wanna read it in bed.
Marion: That's something that rich people do. We're not rich people.

Darlene: You're not supposed to eat the wafers.
Christine: They're not consecrated.

Marion: If you're tired, we can sit down.
Christine: I'm not tired.
Marion: Oh, okay. I just couldn't tell because you were dragging your feet.
Marion: [Lady Bird rolls her eyes] Well, I just couldn't tell.
Christine: Why didn't you just say "pick up your feet"?
Marion: I didn't know if you were tired.
Christine: You're being passive aggressive.
Marion: No, I wasn't.
Christine: You are SO INFURIATING!
Marion: Please stop yelling.
Christine: I'm not yelling.
Christine: [Marion picks out a pink dress] Oh, it's perfect!
Marion: Do you love it?

Kyle: You're gonna have so much unspecial sex in your life.

Christine: What I'd really like is to be on Math Olympiad.
Sister: But math isn't something you're terribly strong in.
Christine: That we know of yet.

Christine: Different things can be sad... it's not all war!

Julie: What about terrorism?
Christine: Don't be a Republican.

Julie: Some people aren't built happy you know.

Guidance: So I understand you're not interested in any Catholic colleges?
Christine: No way. Sorry, but yes, no way.
Guidance: Then you'll be applying to UCs and State schools?
Christine: Yeah, but also those East Coast liberal arts schools. Like Yale, but not Yale because I probably couldn't get in.
Guidance: [laughs inappropriately] You definitely couldn't get in. Part of my job is to help you be realistic.
Christine: Yeah. That seems like everyone's job.

[Lady Bird is angry with Kyle]
Christine: Are we still going to prom together?

Larry: You're not gonna get in a car with a guy that honks, are ya?

Kyle: What you do is very baller. You're very anarchist.
Christine: Yeah. Fuck' em.
Kyle: Don't worry, I'm not gonna snitch on you.
Christine: Well, I hope not 'cause I'd fucking kill your family.
Kyle: What?
Christine: Sorry. I... that was an exaggeration.
Kyle: It's okay. My dad has cancer, so I guess God's doing that for us.

Title: ?Anyone who talks about California hedonism has never spent a Christmas in Sacramento." - Joan Didion

Christine: I just don't get why I'm not good at math. My dad is really good at math. Even Miguel has a math degree.
Julie: Maybe it's your mom's fault.

Sister: Some of the students were disturbed by your posters.
Christine: It's just a bird head in a lady body, or vice versa.
Sister: I think it's a little upsetting.
Christine: It's my tradition to run for office. Don't worry, I won't win.

Christine: I hate California, I want to go to the East Coast. I want to go where culture is like, New York, or Connecticut or New Hampshire.