The Best Larry Mondello Quotes

Theodore: This is one of my good suits, Eddie. My Mom's gonna be pretty sore when she finds out what happened.
Eddie: Wait a minute, kid. You're not gonna be a little squealer are ya?
Theodore: Well, you're the one that did it.
Eddie: Yeah, but if you go around squealin' on guys, nobody's gonna like ya.
Larry: Is that why nobody likes you, Eddie?
Eddie: Shut up, fat boy.

Theodore: You wanna' mess around later?
Larry: I can't, I'm grounded.
Theodore: How come?
Larry: My father caught me eating pie in bed.

[Beaver and Larry are having a picnic at Friends Lake]
Theodore: Hey Larry, how come food tastes better when your eatin' it outside?
Larry: I don't know. Maybe 'cause if you drop something, nobody's gonna' holler at ya' for gettin' dirt dirty.

Theodore: We can't just say we're going to be friends. We gotta have an agreement or something.
Larry: Okay.
Theodore: I, Beaver Cleaver, swear to die for Larry Mondello and always stick up for him and never snitch on him and be his friend forever.

[at a backyard funeral]
Larry: These here are Beaver's pigeons, which he named after his two teachers, which the cat ate, so he buried them.

[in the school lunch room]
The: Larry, how come you eat your cake first?
Larry: If I eat the samwiches first, I might not have room for the cake.