The Best Fred Rutherford Quotes

Fred: Have to keep a firm hand on boys nowadays, Ward. My Clarence answered me back the other day. I smacked him right in the mouth. None of this psychology for me.

Fred: As Sir Walter Scott says, the best laid plans of mice and men, aft gang agley.
Ward: That was Robert Burns.
Fred: Oh, well, see you in the morning. Are you sure that wasn't Sir Walter Scott?
Ward: Robert Burns.
Fred: Oh, well, if you're sure. I'll have to ask Geraldine about that when I get home.

[the boys have set a trap for Lumpy and are trying to lure him out of the house]
Wally: [shouting] Lumpy! Hey, Lumpy! C'mon out, Lumpy!
Fred: Geraldine, what's that?
Gwen: Sounds like somebody calling.
Theodore: [shouting] Lumpy, dumpy, you big ape!
Fred: Must be for Clarence.
Wally: [shouting] Hey, Meathead! Meathead!
Gwen: Might be for you, dear.

Fred: [Wally and Eddie's prank on Lumpy has backfired] Clarence! Did you wrap this chain around the axle of your car and then try to drive off?
Clarence: Gosh no, Daddy! Why would I do something like that?
Fred: It just seems like something you would do.