The Best Mark Hanna Quotes

Mark: So if you've got a client who bought stock at 8 and now it's at 16 and he's all fucking happy, he wants to cash in and liquidate, take his fucking money and run home, you don't let him do that... 'cause that would make it real.

Mark: You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off?
Jordan: What? Do I jerk off? Yeah. Yeah, I jerk off. Yeah.
Mark: How many times a week?
Jordan: Like, um, three or four. Three or four times, maybe five.
Mark: Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day.
Jordan: Wow.
Mark: Once in the morning, right after I work out. And then once right after lunch.
Jordan: Really?
Mark: I want to. That's not why I do it. I do it cause I fuckin' need to.

Mark: Number one rule of Wall Street. Nobody - and I don't care if you're Warren Buffet or if you're Jimmy Buffet - nobody knows if a stock is going to go up, down, sideways or in circles. You know what a fugazi is?
Jordan: Fugayzi, it's a fake.
Mark: Fugayzi, fugazi. It's a whazy. It's a woozie. It's fairy dust. It doesn't exist. It's never landed. It is no matter. It's not on the elemental chart. It's not fucking real.

Jordan: [to the waiter] Oh, I'm good with water for now.
Mark: It's his first day on Wall Street. Give him time.

Mark: The name of the game, moving the money from the client's pocket to your pocket.
Jordan: But if you can make your clients money at the same time it's advantageous to everyone, correct?
Mark: No.