30 Best Michael Sheen Quotes

Arthur: I laughed at a man with no pants, until I realized I have no legs.

Paul: Sex and alcohol. Fuels the desire kills the performance, according to the Bard.

Dr. Martin Whitly: I look great! I'm incognito. You know, a little dirty blonde hair dye and some styling, and voila! I'm a mountain man named Claire. I've always respected men with lady names.

Arthur: They say time heals all wounds.
Aurora: Broken hearts aren't that simple, Arthur. You wouldn't understand.

Aro: [Signaling Alec to stop torturing Toshiro] Alec...
Toshiro: I would never go against you
Aro: Of course not, my dear... Toshiro
Aro: [after reading Toshiro's thoughts] It seems Carlisle is still expecting you
Caius: [while their men kill Toshiro] Carlisle is all but ensuring his own destruction
Aro: Ah... sad. Isn't it?

Arthur: You two look fine this evening.
Aurora: Thank you, Arthur. We're on a date.
Arthur: Very nice.
Aurora: [to Jim] Took you long enough to ask.
Jim: I was giving you space.
Aurora: Oh... Space. The one thing I do not need more of.

Inez: Why don't you tell them about the lead character that you're working on right now?
Carol: Yes! Oh, come on.
Gil: I don't like to discuss my work.
Inez: Well, dear, you don't have to tell them the whole plot, just the character.
Gil: No, No, No.
Inez: Okay. He works in a nostalgia shop.
Carol: What's a-- What's a nostalgia shop?
Paul: Oh, not one of those stores where they sell Shirley Temple dolls and old radios? And I never know who buys that stuff. Who'd want it?
Carol: I don't know.
Inez: Well, people who live in the past, people who think that their lives would be happier if they lived in an earlier time.
Paul: And just which era would you have preferred to live in, Miniver Cheevy?
Inez: Paris in the '20s, in the rain.
Gil: Wouldn't have been bad.
Inez: When the rain wasn't acid rain
Paul: I see. And no global warming, no TV and suicide bombing, and nuclear weapons, drug cartels.
Carol: Usual menu of cliched horror stories.

Michael: [seeing Cate Blanchett is in the chat] Fuck me, it's Cate Blanchett!

David: Was that just a load of old bollocks in Welsh?
Michael: Yeah.

Michael: In my face like improv jizz.

Bella: [as Aro is about to kill Edward] Please! No, no! Please! Kill me! Kill me! Not him!
Aro: How extraordinary! You would give up your life for someone like us. A vampire. A soulless monster.
Edward: Bella get away from him!
Bella: [to Aro] You don't know a thing about his soul.

Aro: What a happy surprise! So Bella is alive after all. Isn't that wonderful? I love a happy ending... they are so rare.

Aro: What a happy surprise... Bella is alive after all. Isn't that wonderful? I love a happy ending... they are so rare.
Aro: [as he grabs Edward's hand to read his thoughts] La tua cantante. Her blood appeals to you so much... it makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?
Edward: It's not without difficulty.
Aro: Yes I can see that.
Edward: Aro can read every thought I ever had, with one touch. And now you know everything. So get on with it.
Aro: You are quite a soul reader yourself Edward. Though, you can't read Bella's thoughts... Fascinating!
Aro: [to Bella] I would love to see... if you are an exception to my gifts as well. Would you do me the honor?
Aro: [after holding Bella's hand] Interesting. I see nothing. I wonder if... Let us see if she's immune to all our powers. Shall we, Jane?
Edward: No!
Jane: Pain.
Bella: [as Edward starts to writhe in pain] Stop! Stop, please! Stop! Stop! Just stop hurting him, please! Please!
Aro: Jane?
Jane: [as she stops torturing Edward] Master?
Aro: Go ahead my dear.
Jane: [to Bella] This may hurt just a little.
Aro: [after nothing happens to Bella] Hahahahahaha. Remarkable. She confounds us all. So, what do we do with you now?
Marcus: You already know what you're going to do Aro.
Caius: She knows to much. She's a liability.
Aro: That's true. Felix?
Bella: [after Edward saves her from being killed by attacking Felix, but is about to be killed himself] Please! No, no! Please! Kill me... kill me. Not him
Aro: How extraordinary. You would give up your life... for someone like us. A vampire. A soulless monster.
Edward: Bella get away from him.
Bella: You don't know a thing... about his soul.
Aro: Forse è uno o l'altro. Ah this is a sadness. If only it where your intention to give her immortality.
Alice: [Stopping Aro from killing Bella] Wait! Bella will be one us. I've seen it. I'll change her myself.

Leslie: My question, Dr. Masters, is: Where is the love?
Dr. William Masters: Uh... In 1687 Sir Isaac Newton discovered what was then known as the 'Law of Universal Gravitation'. Gravity. Take two objects, the larger object exerts an attractive force on the smaller object, pulling it towards itself, as it where. An apple falls from a tree. The earth, by far the more massive object, pulls the apple to the ground. Simple enough. Only Newton's theory left scientists a rather puzzling problem. To paraphrase you, Dr. Farber, where is the gravity? It's not something you can see or touch, it's not something you can put under microscopes or examine from a telescope. Well, 230 years after Newton, a German patent clerk in Switzerland finally realised that scientists had been asking the wrong question all along. They would never find an object in all the immensity of space called gravity because, in point of fact, gravity is nothing but the shape of space itself. That clerk, Einstein, posited that the apple does not fall to the ground because the earth exerts some mysterious kind of force upon it. The apple falls to the ground because it is following the lines and grooves that gravity has carved into space. And when we talk about sex we do not talk about love, Dr. Farber, because love cannot be rendered into columns and graphs as if it were the same as blood pressure or heart rate. Love is not a force exerted by one body onto another. It is the very fabric of those bodies. Love is that which carves the lines and grooves. The curvature of our desire.

Caius: What do you want? Hm?
Irina: I have to report a crime. The Cullens... They've done something terrible.
Aro: Allow me my dear.
[after reading her thoughts]
Aro: Oh my...

Michael: I feel trapped.
David: What, in these little digital boxes?
Michael: Yes.

Michael: There must be things that we still haven't talked about.
David: No.

House: Doctor! I did not expect you.
The: Well, that's me all over, isn't it? Lovely old unexpected me!

House: Fear me! I've killed hundreds of Time Lords!
The: [to himself] Fear me. I've killed all of them.

Jim: Arthur, can you keep a secret?
Arthur: [earnestly] Jim, I'm not just a bartender, I'm a gentleman.

Dr. William Masters: We believe our book, "Human Sexual Response," will reacquaint all of us with our natural selves, free of fear, but also full of understanding. So we thank you for, uh, coming here today and - and we appreciate your interest in our book.
David: If I may...
Dr. William Masters: Really, Mr. Buckland? Why ask for the floor now when you've hijacked it so unapologetically all afternoon?
David: And I may have abused more than my fair share of time today, Dr. Masters, because I believe your book deserves such scrutiny, deserves an honest evaluation as to the impact of such material societally, not just the immense scientific value it provides to the medical community, because the contribution is immense. I mean, this study sheds light on an area that has, up until now, been the dark side of the moon. And if we view the sexual union as so sacrosanct that it cannot be open to question, we should remember a similar view was taken regarding the stars in Galileo's day. And I think we can safely say Galileo had the last laugh on that one.

Mary: I think the wizard must've fucked you in the ass!
Michael: I'm pretty sure I woulda remembered that.
David: Well, not if you were enchanted.

Aurora: Arn't you going to ask for my ID, I might not be old enough to drink.
Arthur: Oh, I would never ask your age in front of a gentleman.
Aurora: [Looking into Jim's eyes] Jim's no gentleman. Anyway, there's no secret between me and Jim.
Arthur: [Surprised 'android' expression and look towards Jim] Is that so?

Paul: In fact, if I'm not mistaken, in the Old French the word 'Versailles' means something like "terrain where the weeds have been pulled.

Paul: Nostalgia is denial - denial of the painful present... the name for this denial is golden age thinking - the erroneous notion that a different time period is better than the one one's living in - it's a flaw in the romantic imagination of those people who find it difficult to cope with the present.

William: Have you tried self gratification?
Homer: Everything but masturbation.

Malcolm: [answering his phone, while holding the Penthouse Slasher off the edge of a building ledge] Hey. Kind of busy.
Dr. Martin Whitly: My boy! Oh! It's-it's your father. I have, uh, I have sensational news!
Malcolm: Please say it's cancer.
Dr. Martin Whitly: I'm heading home! Wait, what did you say?
Malcolm: What do you mean, "home"?
Dr. Martin Whitly: Well, well not, not home, home. They're transferring me back to Claremont.
Malcolm: Why?
Dr. Martin Whitly: Well, I did single-handedly prevent Covid from ravaging the most over populated prison on the East Coast. 'Course, contact tracing is a breeze when your patients don't have rights.

Mary: They have a lot of respect for you both, and they want leads with more US recognition, and a pair who are more believable as friends.
Michael: Sorry? We are actually friends!
Mary: Yes, but nobody's buying it.

Arthur: Jim, these are not robot questions.

Michael: I could play David.