The Best Parzival Quotes

Parzival: People come to the Oasis for all the things they can do, but they stay for all the things they can be.

Aech: [Discussing Parzival's upcoming date with Art3mis] Z, you gotta be more careful about who you meet out on the OASIS.
Parzival: Aech, Art3mis gets me. She'll get my outfit, there's just this connection. I mean, sometimes, we even...
Aech: Finish each other's sentences.
Parzival: Yeah!
Aech: We have that, me and you.
Parzival: Yeah, I know. But that's because we're best friends, dude.
[Puts hand up for a high-five]
Aech: She could be a dude too, dude.
Parzival: Nah, come on.
Aech: I'm serious. She could actually be a 300 pound dude who lives in his momma's basement in suburban Detroit. And her name is Chuck.
[Puts hand on Parzival's shoulder]
Aech: Think about that.

Parzival: Aech, are you seeing this?
[turns right towards her]
Aech: Yeah, I see it. That's Kaneda's bike from Akira.
[holds up the scope and looks down]
Aech: It's a licensed skin over a standard frame.
Parzival: [panicking] No, not the bike! Forget the bike! The girl, I think it's Art3mis!
Aech: The Art3mis? The Sixer Fixer?
Parzival: I've seen all her walk-throughs, her Twitch streams.
[smiles]
Parzival: It's her. It's definitely her.

Parzival: First to the Key!
Aech: First to the Egg!

Parzival: FIRST TO THE KEY!
Tracer: FIRST TO THE EGG!
Master: FIRST TO THE EGG!
Spawn: FIRST TO THE EGG!

Parzival: Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story...
Art3mis: Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.

Anorak: [He enters Central Park] Nice racing, padawan. You're the first to finish.
Parzival: [neels down stammering and looks at Anorak] M-Mr. Halliday. I... Anorak. It's such an honor.
Anorak: The honor's all mine.
[he holds the Copper Key and gives it to Parzival as he looks down]
Anorak: Get yourself a clue.

Parzival: It's not about winning, it's about playing.

Aech: Yo, Z, is Art3mis pissed at me?
Parzival: Dude, I'm pissed at you! You've never seen The Shining, have you?
Aech: [complaining] YOU KNOW I HATE SCARY MOVIES!
Daito: We got the key!
[tosses the key to him]
Parzival: Sweet! To room 237!
Aech: We ain't got no business goin' to room 237! WE SHOULD STAY OUT! Plus, there was this crazy, naked zombie lady in there.
Parzival: There are no zombies The Shining!
Art3mis: Well, maybe it's not supposed to be LIKE the movie. Kira is the key. You're the one who said it.
Aech: Hey, y'all. I saw a picture of Kira!
Art3mis: Huh?
[they got knocked out]
Art3mis: [straining] Where?

Parzival: How'd you get here before me?
Aech: Well, I didn't make a pit stop at the hair salon.
[slaps his hand to him]
Aech: What up, Z?
Parzival: What's up, Aech?
Aech: Saved you a spot.
Parzival: Thanks, bro.
Parzival: [saw a beeping fuel running low] I gotta go to the back.
Aech: Ugh. So you can skim coins from crashed cars? That's just SAD, man!
Parzival: Fuel's low.
Aech: Oh, but you still had enough to pay for that Something About Mary hairdo.

Art3mis: Get outta town. Buckaroo Banzai!
Parzival: Huh?
Art3mis: I like it! I like Buckaroo Banzai!
Parzival: Oh thanks!
Art3mis: Its Great!

Parzival: A creator who hates his own creation. A hidden key: a leap not taken. Retrace your steps, escape your past. And the key of Jade will be yours at last.

Aech: Yo, Z, is Art3mis pissed at me?
Parzival: Dude, I'm pissed at you! You've never seen The Shining, have you?
Aech: [complaining] YOU KNOW I HATE SCARY MOVIES!
Sho: We got the key!
[tosses the key to him]
Parzival: Sweet! To room 237!
Aech: We ain't got no business goin' to room 237! WE SHOULD STAY OUT! Plus, there was this crazy, naked zombie lady in there.
Parzival: There are no zombies The Shining!
Art3mis: Well, maybe it's not supposed to be LIKE the movie. Kira is the key. You're the one who said it.
Aech: Hey, y'all. I saw a picture of Kira!
Art3mis: Huh?
[they got knocked out]
Art3mis: [straining] Where?

Art3mis: [Repeated line]
[after helping Wade escape]
Art3mis: You'll forgive me for this, I promise.
Parzival: [Before shooting Art3mis so she can escape IOI] You'll forgive me for this, I promise.

Daito: Look.
[flicks up the camera]
Daito: Ticking Clock.
Art3mis: Okay, so I'm estimating about... five minutes to find the key.
Parzival: Yeah, there are so many keys The Shining, though. Where do we start?
Aech: [puts his hand to his shoulder to come here] I've never seen The Shining. Is it really scary?
Sho: Uh, I had to watch it through my fingers.
Parzival: Okay, so we got the key from room 237, the keys to the Snowcat, or the keys they give Jack at the beginning of the movie.
Art3mis: [when Aech was depressed he looks and saw a tennis ball walks on the floor] Well, if it's "the leap not taken, maybe the key isn't a key at all.
Sho: [the tennis ball was still rolling] I know where the Snowcat keys are!
Parzival: I say we split up. We get all the keys and then we meet back at the Torrances' apartment.

Parzival: Since most people spend most of their time in the Oasis, losing your shit means, well, losing your shit.