Top 30 Quotes From Ready Player One

Sho: Ninjas don't hug!

Parzival: Since most people spend most of their time in the Oasis, losing your shit means, well, losing your shit.

Parzival: FIRST TO THE KEY!
Tracer: FIRST TO THE EGG!
Master: FIRST TO THE EGG!
Spawn: FIRST TO THE EGG!

[Ending Narration; Last lines]
Wade: The High Five took over the OASIS, and the first thing we did, was sign Ogden Morrow to a non-exclusive consultancy. The salary, per his demand, was 25 cents. One quarter.
[Wade flips the quarter in the air]
Wade: With his guidance, our second move was to ban any loyalty centers from accessing the OASIS. IOI had no choice. They shut 'em all down. The third thing we did wasn't as popular. We closed the OASIS on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I know it sounds like a weird move, but, people need to spend more time in the real world. 'Cause, like Halliday said, reality, is the only thing. That's real.

Sixer: It's fucking Chucky!

Halliday: I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I just didn't know how to connect with people there. I was afraid for all my life, right up until the day I knew my life was ending. And that was when I realized that... as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also... the only place that... you can get a decent meal. Because, reality... is real.

I: No man is a failure who has friends.

Sorrento: Halliday, this is how you plan to resolve the fate of the world's most important economic resource?

Aech: [Discussing Parzival's upcoming date with Art3mis] Z, you gotta be more careful about who you meet out on the OASIS.
Parzival: Aech, Art3mis gets me. She'll get my outfit, there's just this connection. I mean, sometimes, we even...
Aech: Finish each other's sentences.
Parzival: Yeah!
Aech: We have that, me and you.
Parzival: Yeah, I know. But that's because we're best friends, dude.
[Puts hand up for a high-five]
Aech: She could be a dude too, dude.
Parzival: Nah, come on.
Aech: I'm serious. She could actually be a 300 pound dude who lives in his momma's basement in suburban Detroit. And her name is Chuck.
[Puts hand on Parzival's shoulder]
Aech: Think about that.

Wade: Sho?
Sho: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 11, so what?
Daito: His real name is Xo.
Sho: But everyone else calls me Sho, no big deal.
Wade: No. It is a big deal. Sho, you're the world's most badass 11-year-old ever.
Daito: He knows.
Sho: Shut up! Let him tell me.

Parzival: How'd you get here before me?
Aech: Well, I didn't make a pit stop at the hair salon.
[slaps his hand to him]
Aech: What up, Z?
Parzival: What's up, Aech?
Aech: Saved you a spot.
Parzival: Thanks, bro.
Parzival: [saw a beeping fuel running low] I gotta go to the back.
Aech: Ugh. So you can skim coins from crashed cars? That's just SAD, man!
Parzival: Fuel's low.
Aech: Oh, but you still had enough to pay for that Something About Mary hairdo.

Halliday: She wanted to go dancing, so we watched a movie.

Mrs. Gilmore: Hello, Wade.
Wade: Hello, Mrs. Gilmore.
Mrs. Gilmore: What's the matter? Life getting you down?
[locks up the pulley with the chains]
Mrs. Gilmore: [chuckles]

[first lines]
Announcer: Get ready for the feel, the real of real. X1. No pain, no gain.

Parzival: People come to the Oasis for all the things they can do, but they stay for all the things they can be.

Aech: Yo, Z, is Art3mis pissed at me?
Parzival: Dude, I'm pissed at you! You've never seen The Shining, have you?
Aech: [complaining] YOU KNOW I HATE SCARY MOVIES!
Sho: We got the key!
[tosses the key to him]
Parzival: Sweet! To room 237!
Aech: We ain't got no business goin' to room 237! WE SHOULD STAY OUT! Plus, there was this crazy, naked zombie lady in there.
Parzival: There are no zombies The Shining!
Art3mis: Well, maybe it's not supposed to be LIKE the movie. Kira is the key. You're the one who said it.
Aech: Hey, y'all. I saw a picture of Kira!
Art3mis: Huh?
[they got knocked out]
Art3mis: [straining] Where?

Aech: Yo, Z, is Art3mis pissed at me?
Parzival: Dude, I'm pissed at you! You've never seen The Shining, have you?
Aech: [complaining] YOU KNOW I HATE SCARY MOVIES!
Daito: We got the key!
[tosses the key to him]
Parzival: Sweet! To room 237!
Aech: We ain't got no business goin' to room 237! WE SHOULD STAY OUT! Plus, there was this crazy, naked zombie lady in there.
Parzival: There are no zombies The Shining!
Art3mis: Well, maybe it's not supposed to be LIKE the movie. Kira is the key. You're the one who said it.
Aech: Hey, y'all. I saw a picture of Kira!
Art3mis: Huh?
[they got knocked out]
Art3mis: [straining] Where?

Parzival: Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story...
Art3mis: Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.

Parzival: Aech, are you seeing this?
[turns right towards her]
Aech: Yeah, I see it. That's Kaneda's bike from Akira.
[holds up the scope and looks down]
Aech: It's a licensed skin over a standard frame.
Parzival: [panicking] No, not the bike! Forget the bike! The girl, I think it's Art3mis!
Aech: The Art3mis? The Sixer Fixer?
Parzival: I've seen all her walk-throughs, her Twitch streams.
[smiles]
Parzival: It's her. It's definitely her.

Mrs. Gilmore: Hello, Wade.
Mrs. Gilmore: Hello, Mrs. Gilmore.
Mrs. Gilmore: What's the matter? Life getting you down?
[locks up the pulley with the chains]
Mrs. Gilmore: [chuckles]

I: Well, Buckaroo blows it. Shocking.

Art3mis: Get outta town. Buckaroo Banzai!
Parzival: Huh?
Art3mis: I like it! I like Buckaroo Banzai!
Parzival: Oh thanks!
Art3mis: Its Great!

Parzival: First to the Key!
Aech: First to the Egg!

Sorrento: This guy! Back to work, people.

Aech: I've never seen the Shining. Is it really Scary?
Sho: Uh... I had to watch it... through my fingers.

IOI: Who is this 'Parzival' and how the hell is he winning?
Sorrento: Well, here's a better question. Who cares? Halliday's contest is vitally important. I mean, it's nothing less than a war for control of the future. But this Parzival? He's not even clanned up. He's alone. We have an army.
Corporate: And yet, he's got the first key.
Sorrento: Yeah, he has a key, but you have to get three of 'em to win the contest.
IOI: [interuppting] Our stock dove 6% yesterday.
Sorrento: [strictly] Loyalty division is reporting profits of 28%! F'Nale?
F'Nale: We're opening five new loyalty centers this month.
Sorrento: [sternly] Debt Services dwarfs Hardware. Now, you really wanna talk to me about stock prices?
Corporate: The shareholders won't be happy.
Sorrento: It's not our job to make them happy. It's our job to make them money, but once we launch this little baby, they're gonna *flip*.
[taps on the screen to planet doom]
Sorrento: [gunshots shooting on screen] We call this Pure O2. This is the first of our planned upgrades. Once we can roll back some of Halliday's ad restrictions, we estimate we can sell up to 80% of an individual's visual field before inducing seizures, so picture this...
IOI: All of this implies we win the contest.
Sorrento: [looks up to him] Indeed, it does.

Parzival: A creator who hates his own creation. A hidden key: a leap not taken. Retrace your steps, escape your past. And the key of Jade will be yours at last.

Halliday: Maybe we should stop talking about it and start showing it. If you all want to reach under your seats, you'll find there's nothing there.

Anorak: In the form of my avatar, Anorak the all knowing. I created three keys. Three hidden challenges test worthy traits, revealing three hidden keys to three magic gates. And those with the skill to survive these strengths will reach the end, where the prize awaits.

Anorak: [He enters Central Park] Nice racing, padawan. You're the first to finish.
Parzival: [neels down stammering and looks at Anorak] M-Mr. Halliday. I... Anorak. It's such an honor.
Anorak: The honor's all mine.
[he holds the Copper Key and gives it to Parzival as he looks down]
Anorak: Get yourself a clue.