The Best Sarah Corrigan Quotes

Sarah: Merry Christmas, Mark, I'm shattered, can I have a glass of champagne?
Mark: Of course, Cava's just through there.
Sarah: Cava? Ugh.
Mark: [voiceover] Great. Five seconds before the first disappointment. Got that in early.

Jeremy: Hello, Sarah. Happy Christmas.
Sarah: It could be, if you play your cards right.
Jeremy: [voiceover] Ugh, not Sarah, not again. Ding Dong Merrily on my dong, the Christmas elves are weeping.

[Jeremy answers the door. It's Super Hans]
Super: Happy Christmas, motherfucker.
Jeremy: Hans!
Super: Have a guess what Santa's got in his sack.
[reaches inside his bag and takes out a bundle of marijuana]
Super: Answer: a wicked big bag of sinister minister.
Jeremy: [taking it] Ah. Happy Christmas.
Mark: Hans?
Super: Merry Christmas, Mark.
Mark: Jeremy...
Jeremy: [quietly, to Mark] I'm not going to.
Mark: Well, don't.
Sarah: Super Hans! Merry Christmas, glass of Cava?
Super: [coming in] Don't mind if I do. Mind out boys, Father Spliffmas coming through.
Mark: [voiceover] Great. Methadone in the mulled wine.
Jeremy: What?
Mark: It's your fault.
Jeremy: It's not my fault. I was holding the line.
Mark: Yes, but you know him. You shouldn't know him.
Jeremy: Well, I'm sorry, but I do know him.
Mark: [voiceover] Ugh. Merry migraine and a happy new stomach ulcer.

Dan: [spills his drink] Oh, for fudge's sake!
Mark: It's OK, Dad, the carpet's seen worse.
Sarah: You Jezzed the carpet just like you Jezzed the directions, Dad!
[she and Pam giggle. Mark looks uncomfortable]
Jeremy: Erm, Jezzed?
Pam: We got it from Mark, didn't we, Mark?
Jeremy: Oh, right. So, uh... it's when you...
Pam: When you get something wrong - he Jezzed it.
Dan: Total balls-up, a real Jezzing.
Jeremy: Right. Yeah. Yeah, that is funny. Sort of a bit like being famous.
[the doorbell rings]
Jeremy: I'll go and see who that is. Let's hope I don't Jez it, or do a big Mark in my pants.