The Best Self - Host Quotes

Kid: Well, listen to him. One pizza and he's a real gunfighter.
Cowboy: Indian giver!

Caller: Anyway, last night I came home from work early. And the first thing I know, some tootsie comes strutting out of our bedroom, with a bottle of tequila, wearing panties.
[sobs]
Edwin: Now let me get this straight, you're upset because this woman had put underclothes on a bottle of tequila?