The Best Self - Announcer Quotes

Ralph: It's time to play "You Win a Dollar". Don, tell us what he's playing for.
Announcer: [off screen] Well, Dale, it's a dollar, that's all! Just a dollar. It's not even a new dollar, it's kind of old and the corner's been ripped, but we taped it back together, so it's still good!

Announcer: [voice over] Actor Chevy Chase speaks out for milk.
Chevy: You know, a lot of times, I'm out for dinner, uh, my date will order a beer or a liquor drink or something like that or her date or her friend's date or something like that, you know, and they're all ordering. And then the waiter comes to me, he says, So, uh, what'll be? You know? And I just sort of smile and pop right up and say, "Milk, please!" You know why? Because I know that a single glass of delicious, ice cold milk in the summer can give you aquick heart attack if you drink it too fast.

Announcer: [voice over during end credits] This is O.J. Pardo. The O.J is for Only Joking. Goodnight...

Gil: [during the quiz "Word Busters"] As always in the speed round, you'll be trying to guess as many words as possible, in only 15 seconds, but first, Don Pardo, tell him what he'll win?
Don: [voice over] Something very good... very, very good!
Steve: [goes from apprehensive to very excited] Yes! Okay, I'm ready!

Announcer: And now, 'Weekend Update' with Chevy Chase!
Chevy: [on the phone] No, you're not supposed to blow on it - that's just an expression.
[notices the camera]
Chevy: I have to go.
[hangs up the phone]
Chevy: Good evening! I'm Ron McKuen.

Announcer: This is Don Pardo, the voice of a thousand faces. Good night...

Announcer: This docu-drama, while based on actual events, includes some ficticious material. The character of Golda Meir is a composite, based on that of the real Golda Meir and a beautiful young model.

Game: [voice over] Who's Ass Should I Kiss is an Arsenio Hall production.

Ralph: Dale, I gotta be honest with you, buddy, in the whole history of this show, no one has ever gotten so close to winning that dollar.
[Dale is in pain but still expresses his joy at getting this far]
Ralph: Okay, Dale. Are you ready? Hang on here, are you ready for the final challenge?
Dale: [Dale can hardly keep himself together] Yes, yes, please, please.
Ralph: Okay, here it is: I'm thinking of a color... what is it?
Dale: Wha... what? A color?
Ralph: That's right, I'm thinking of a color. What color is it?
Dale: Oh... I dunno... eh, yellow?
Ralph: [buzzer sounds] Oh, no! Oh, that was so close! Too ba...
Dale: What?
Ralph: I was thinking of kinda like a, like an off-yellow.
[Dale groans in defeat]
Ralph: That's too bad, I'm so sorry. Do we have a consolation prize for him, Don?
Announcer: [off screen] Noooooo!

Jeopardy!: [voice over] And our contestants will ease their troubled minds with the new Dial-A-Blank electro-shock kit. Forget anything you want with the twist of the dial. So effective, you won't remember you own own. Dial-A-Blank, from Leisure-tronics.

Announcer: And now, Weekend Update with the Weekend Update News Team. Brought to you by Colonel Lingus, the Southern Fried Chicken that takes a lickin'.

[first lines]
Announcer: 'The Battle of the World Superpowers' will be delayed tonight, so that we may bring you this message from the President of the United States.

Announcer: Join us next week for "Escape From the Planet of the Gays"

Don: Transportation for Game Breakers is provided by TransEastern Airlines. At Transeastern, we don't love to fly, but we keep the feeling hidden.

Voice: And now, "Weekend Update", with the "Weekend Update" news team. Here are Jane Curtin and Don Aykroyd.
Dan: That's Dan Aykroyd.
Voice: What was that?
Dan: That's Dan, Don.
Voice: Oh, I'm sorry, Dan, it must have been a typographical error in my script. I beg your Pardo!

Public: The preceding public service announcement was brought to you by the Service for Public Service Announcements.