The Best Steve Quotes

Megan: [watching Vicky's test for Tahani] Okay, so, like, her parents were the chainsaw bear... but instead of chopping off her head, they chopped off her self-esteem?
Vicky: Yes, Megan, good! Take what you know about them and then force them into moments of personal difficulty. Think of it as flattening the penises of their heart.
Steve: Oh! Now it makes sense!

Megan: Anything?
Steve: Nope. Nobody knows squat.
Megan: What the Here is going on? We haven't had any new humans to torture in, like, a week. I miss it.
Steve: I know. I got so desperate this morning, I tried flattening an eggplant. It's just not the same.
Bad: Hey, skin tags. Special meeting.
Steve: About what?
Megan: I don't know. Probably your dad's stinky sack.
Steve: [They all laugh] I hope it's not more sexual harassment training. We just did that, and I'm already so good at it.

Megan: Why do we need a new system? Torture works. It's the way it's always been done.
Tahani: With all due respect, "It's the way it's always been done" is an excuse that's been used for hundreds of years to justify racism, misogyny...
Steve: Exactly. See? This chick gets it.