30 Best Two-Face Quotes

The: [with an Irish brogue] And now for the final confession. The big secret you've kept from us for so many years. Brothers and sisters, at long last, I give you the man behind the Bat!
[as he moves to remove Batman's cowl, Janet throws his confiscated batarang into a spotlight]
The: What?
Two: [clicking on a cigarette lighter] He's gone! Everyone spread out! Don't let him get away!
Batman: Who says I'm leaving?

Harvey: I just flew off the handle - that's all - Don't worry, I've got it under control.
Bruce: Harvey, you didn't just lose your temper out there. You were like another person!
Harvey: I said I was sorry!
Bruce: Maybe you should get some help.
Grace: He already is.
Harvey: Grace!
Grace: Darling, Bruce is your friend!
Bruce: Don't be embarrassed. Lots of people see psychiatrists, Harv.
Harvey: Not when they're running for public office! You know how some voters feel about shrinks.
Bruce: Well, I, for one, am proud of you! And relieved. It takes a strong man to admit when he has a problem.
Harvey: Yeah, yeah. Just keep it under your hat, okay?
Bruce: Don't worry. If there's anything I know, it's how to keep a secret.

Two: Don't get wise with me, Mason! Remember who got you set up as Gordon's assistant.
Gil: Right, Harvey, right.
Two: DON'T CALL ME THAT! It's Two-Face to you, pretty boy!

Janet: And so it's Batman's fault you lead a life of crime.
Poison: He should have let me bump off Harvey Dent. We'd all have been better off, wouldn't we, Harve?
Two: [grumbling under his breath] Why, you rotten little... I'll...
Janet: But, Ms. Isley, isn't the real motivation for your crimes your obsession with plants? That you prefer them to people?
Poison: I love plants, honey, but a rose is a rose.
Janet: Then it doesn't bother you when someone - let's say the judge here...
[yanking the flower from Joker's lapel]
Janet: ...ruthlessly plucks a defenseless flower from the warm, green earth.
Poison: No.
Janet: Even knowing he's given it his death sentence?
[plucking petals as she talks]
Janet: That its petals must die?
Poison: Stop it!
Janet: One by one, withering falling, one by one, until it's all gone... honey.
Jervis: [as Ivy leaps in attack, he and Scarecrow pull her off] Ms. Ivy, please!
Scarface: You're beautiful when you're angry.

Rupert: [Reading Harvey's file] Listen to this boys. Says here that when Harvey was a little boy, he was bothered by a bully. Everyday the bully would bug him after school, until one day little Harvey got so mad, he slugged him one.
Thorne's: Oooh.
Rupert: Of course, the bully ran away, which made little Harvey very proud. Until he heard that the bully was in the hospital.
Candace: That was some punch.
Rupert: That's what Harvey thought. Except the guy was in the hospital for appendicitis. But poor Harvey felt so guilty, he never showed his anger again. And that was the start of Big Bad Harv.
Harvey: [Stands up from his chair in anger] What do you want?
Rupert: Just a few favors from the D.A.'s office.
Harvey: You're dreaming.
Rupert: Otherwise, as a concerned citizen, I'd be compelled to give this to the press. After all, the people of Gotham have a right to know the kind of person... or should I say "persons", they've elected. So, what do you say, Harvey? Do we have a deal?
Harvey: [Dent's face roils with rage at this taunting as Thorne's gang mocks him, until he suddenly takes a strangely calm veneer with a sinister smile] There's just one problem...
Rupert: What's that?
Big: [Walks up to Thorne's face and frightens the crime boss who realizes he has unleashed Dent's violent alternate personality] You're talking to the wrong Harvey.

Two: Where's my coin? I had it just here when... oh, no!

Two: [narrating his story] I figured as long as I had Batman at my mercy, he deserved a 50-50 chance...
[Batman is shown strapped down to a giant penny]
Two: Here's the deal: the coin lands face down, you'll be squashed flat. It lands face up, you'll just break every bone in your body!

The: So, I hear You-Know-Who nailed The Mad Hatter last week...
The: No kidding! He sure gets around for one guy.
Two: Yeah, well, that's where you're wrong. I don't think it is one guy.
Killer: Huh?
Two: The way I figure it, Gordon's got a bunch of them stashed someplace, like a S.W.A.T. team. He wants you to think it's one guy, but...
The: Ah, you're always seeing double.
The: It's obvious our caped friend suffered some crime-related trauma when he was younger. Perhaps an over-anxious mugger blew off a piece of his face.
The: Sure, he could be all gross and disgusting under that mask!
[Dent, who was adding cream to his coffee, crushes the carton]
The: Uh, no offense, Harv.
Two: Just deal...
Killer: Well, you know what I think?
The: Not the robot theory again...
Killer: Well, he could be.

Two: [finishing his "almost got him" Batman story] ... And if it weren't for this blasted coin... I would have got him.
The: Gee, that's too bad, Harv, but I guess you'll always come in second. Anybody else want to go?
Killer: [hits the table] ME! There I was, holed up in this quarry, when Batman came nosing around. He was getting closer... Closer...
Poison: And...?
Killer: I threw a rock at him!
[everyone stares in dead silence]
Poison: So, Harvey, what became of the giant penny?
Killer: It was a big rock...
Two: They actually let him keep it!

The: [all the villains have weapons trained on Killer Croc, who is really Batman in disguise] Well, well, an impostor in our midst!
Poison: Risking everything for your kitty, Batman?
Two: You're not getting outta this one!
Batman: Maybe
[snaps his fingers. Everyone in the bar turns around and trains guns on the villains]
Batman: but I'm not bad with traps, myself.

Killer: Let's go. Move it.
Jervis: Indeed. Can't keep the judge waiting.
Two: You've said it yourself, lady. Batman made every one of us.
Jervis: So, we're placing him before the bar to face our justice.
Janet: And me?
Two: Basic 50/50 option. You get him off, you both go free. He goes down... ya take the fall with him.
Jervis: Amusing idea, what? Kidnapping you to be Batman's attorney.
Two: Personally, I suggested a quick slug between the eyes, but I lost the coin toss.

Harvey: Chance, Grace. Chance is everything. Whether you're born or not, whether you live or die, whether you're good or bad. It's all arbitrary.

Two: Get outta my face, clown!
The: Which one?

Batman: Harvey, give me your other hand! I need both your hands to save you!
Two: [hanging from a ledge] What, what should I do? The coin won't tell me...
Batman: It won't tell you ANYTHING! I switched coins when you grabbed me! It's a trick coin, it'll always land on edge! It's YOUR choice now, Harvey: life or death, the coin or me!
[after a pause, Dent drops the coin]
Harvey: Batman, help me.
[Batman pulls him up...]
Two: Never!
[lets go of Batman's hand, and falls]

The: Why, Hugo, why didn't you tell us about your fear of flying?
Dr. Hugo Strange: Joker, please! I was set up! Bruce Wayne is Batman!
Two: That's absurd! I know Bruce Wayne. If he's Batman, I'm the King of England!
The: And people say I'm crazy!

Killer: You'd think one of us would've got 'im by now...
The: I've come the closest.
Poison: Are you kidding? I was the one who nearly...
Two: [pounds the table] Nobody's come closer to stopping the Batman than ME!
[a squabble breaks out, which the Joker ends with a whistle]
The: The fact is each of us has their own "almost got 'im" story to tell...

Grace: [Two-Face aims a gun at Thorne] Harvey, what are you doing?
Two: Taking control of my life.
Batman: Let the law handle it.
Two: The law? Here's the only law, the law of averages.
[holds up his coin]
Two: The great equalizer.
[flips it]

[the Joker wins the poker game]
Poison: Awww...
Two: No way!
Killer: Forget this!
The: Let me see those cards!

Two: Nobody panic!
[Everyone turns to find Harley Quinn dangling from the ceiling, strapped in Batman's straightjacket]
The: OK... start panicking.

Two: Who are you? What are you doing here?
Bruce: Matches Malone. Heard about a new mob. Thought I could make some more dough.
Two: Is that so? Well, you heard right. In fact, you can double your take on the jobs we're pulling... assuming I let you live to join my gang.
[Bruce gasps as Two-Face steps out of the shadows]
Two: Matches Malone, huh? Never heard of you. But there's something about you that I don't like. Nothing I can put my finger on, but I trust my hunches; kinda like, uh, second sight, you know?
[showing his coin]
Two: Good heads, you live, bad heads, you don't. Simple, huh?

Rupert: Congratulations, Harvey. This is Thorne. Rupert Thorne.
Harvey: What do you want, you slime?
Rupert: Now, now. Is that any way to talk to a man who's about to make you a deal?
Harvey: I'm not interested in your deals, Thorne.
Rupert: Oh, I think you will be, unless of course you'd rather I speak with Big Bad Harv.
[Harvey starts sweating nervously]
Rupert: Or perhaps you'd prefer I speak to the press first?

Harvey: Good old Bruce. He's never given up on me. Always been my best friend. I remember when we used to close the town at the Half Moon Club. The most fun we ever had. Heard they were tearing the old place down. I guess nothing good lasts forever.

Batman: You hated Harvey Dent, and would do anything to destroy him.
Two: Why not? He was going to destroy me. Just as I'm going to destroy you!

Candace: You did very well leading us to your boyfriend.
Two: Grace?
Rupert: Now, now. She thought she was alerting the police. She wanted to save you.
Grace: I'm so sorry, Harvey.
Two: So much for control, huh, Grace?

Batman: You kidnapped yourself. I should have seen it right away. One red herring clue wasn't enough. You had to leave two.
Two: I couldn't let that wimp Dent destroy me. I had to teach the little man some respect. Everybody needs respect.

Harvey: Good old Bruce. Always there... you've never given up on me.

Two: See this? It's the remote control for that detonator. Once my boys and I get down to the ground, I'll use it to set off that dynamite. Unless, of course, the coin says different. What do you say, Batman? Feeling lucky?
Batman: [restrained] Looks like I don't have much choice.
[Two-Face flips the coin into the air]
Batman: Let it hit the floor! I wanna see it!
Two: [seeing it land on its edge] That can't happen.
[flipping it again, with the same result]
Two: No, it isn't possible! It can't land on edge. It has to be heads or tails. How can I decide if it isn't heads or tails?
[trying a third time]
Two: On edge. It's still on edge.

Two: Whose deal is it?
The: Mine. I find your middling machinations mildly diverting. But, for sheer criminal genius, none surpasses my most recent ornithologically-inspired entoilment.
The: Smaller words, please. You're losing Croc.
Killer: [Confused] Uhhh...

Grace: Mr. Dent, I have a question. When are you going to marry that gorgeous fiancee of yours?
Bruce: Better marry her soon, Harv, or I just might steal her away myself.
Harvey: You do, and I'll prosecute.

Dr. Nora Crest: [to a hypnotized Harvey Dent] Now Harvey, I would like to speak with your other personality. I would like to talk with 'Big Bad Harv.'
Harvey: I don't think he wants to talk...
Dr. Nora Crest: He must if we're to help you. Please try.
[Harvey struggles, then opens his eyes and tosses a coin]
Dr. Nora Crest: Big Bad Harv?
Big: [in Two-Face's voice] Speaking.
Dr. Nora Crest: It appears you and Harvey are having trouble again.
Big: The guy's a wimp.
Dr. Nora Crest: Well, Harvey has special problems. When he was young, he felt very guilty about his angry feelings. So guilty that he hid them deep inside until they became an illness. You, Big Bad Harv, represent these angry feelings. Everyone has anger and it does not harm, as long as it doesn't result in bad behavior. Once Harvey understands this...
Big: Then maybe I'll go away. Right?
Dr. Nora Crest: Well...
Big: [Harvey suddenly stands and throws the table aside] I'm goin' nowhere, Missy! If anyone's leaving, it's Mr. Goody-good!
[throws a lamp through the window]
Big: And maybe you with him!