250 Best You Quotes

Joe: Turns out, parenthood is Groundhog Day as written by Jean Paul Sartre.

- What about you, Love?
- When else have you felt the way that Joe makes you feel?

- We just have to tie up a few loose ends.
- I can't believe we're doing this.
- I can. It's fate.
- Mm. Gotta go.
- Bunch of songbirds just landed on me and I think we're going flying.
- I'll see you in the sky.

- So glad you're here.
- What the fuck is happening?

Joe: Home early.
- It's very unusual for you.
- Yes, yes, I know that place.
- Okay. Yeah, great. I'll see you there.
Joe: What's got you stepping out of your routine?
- I dearly hope it doesn't involve pegging someone on this bed. RIP Peach.
- Okay, now you're just playing with me.

Sherry: Let me go!
- No! No, please! No! God!
Joe: That does not sound good.
- He could be at Matthew's by now.
- Guess I'm gonna use Cary's gift from the hunting trip after all.

Joe: [looking at the video of Annika] this looks old, but casual racism is ever green.

- How's that for self-awareness?
- Am I amusing you?
- No, no, no. No.
- I'm sorry. Also, I'm not sorry.
- I'm not one to let bullies bully.
- I would've done that for anybody.
- Okay.

- Let's be honest, rebuilding the cage was crazy.
- Could've really backfired.
- And yet it worked.
- We slowed down.
- Reflected.
- Responded.
- Proved we're a team. For Henry.

- You know why?
- Because... you know who they are.
- The whole messy truth.
- And that's beautiful and worthwhile.
- And exactly what I would want in my life.
- No matter what happened in the past, someone out there will want you too.
- You're a good kid.

- But, no, I have to think of Juliette.
- And I promised myself, my next relationship would be...
- Would be aboveboard and honest.
- I'm sorry.
Joe: Aboveboard and honest.
- How do I give that to you?

- What you want will take a long time.
- Oh, I don't think it will, not if you're involved.
- And I'm prepared to dramatically overpay.
- Plus, you'd be doing a service to the world.
- How so?
- Finding a murderer.

- Shit, shit. Let me--
- -Just let me see.
- -Stay away from me.
- -I know head trauma.
- -Stop.
[yelling] Get the hell away from me, honey!
- Hey!
- Hey.

- It had to be enough.
- I had to finally stop you.
[sobbing] We're perfect for each other.
- But bad... for Henry.
- He'll know what you are.

Love: I forced my husband to play along.
- But in the end, he was a coward too.
- And when I realized he had grown to hate me,
- I killed him.
- Better than a messy divorce.
- Everybody keeps their dignity.

- My issue is that you're still flirting and I asked you not to.
- I'm not flirting with you.
- I'm begging you for food.
- Okay. Jesus fucking Christ.
- Thank you, my lady and savior.
- Okay.
- -Carrot or chai walnut?
- -Carrot, please.

- Two bodies, one story, if we get this part right.
- And we will. I will.
- I have to.
- It's on me to protect you and Henry.
- There's no one else who will.
- Here are your flags. Drop them as you go.

Guinevere: [thinking] What was that? Eight seconds?
[glances over at Joe]
Guinevere: Oh, yeah. He's got that "Trump just took Pennsylvania" look.

Guinevere: I read one of your essays in the "Review" last month, and it was so illuminating. I tweeted it.
Blythe: Social Media. It's like the next great genocide.

Derek: No one is coming to save you.
- What you gonna do, Goldberg?
- Don't!

- I don't know.
- I just feel like it's gonna make him, like, even that more unreachable.
- You okay?
- -[Katzir] Ms. Quinn-Goldberg?
- -Yes.
- -A moment?
- -Yes. Thank you.
- -Thank you.
- -[stammers] Yeah, of course.

- to take our relationship to a new level.
- Would you be game?
- -[cell phone chimes]
- -Oh.
- Sorry, it's my babysitter.
- What the fuck?
- -I'm so sorry.
- -Yeah.

- You knew, and you sat in my house and you said nothing.
- I should kill you.
- I should kill you right fucking now.
- -What?
- -[Joe] Follow my eyes.
- Come on. I'm pointing with my eyes.
- Check the search history.
- You're a tech guy, you know this.

- But what choice did I have?
- So I played.
- And I realized your fence, your doorbell cam, you tell yourself you're keeping your family safe, but it's a lie.
- You're too afraid to do what you need to do to really protect your own.

- Yep, just finished up.
- So, what were you doing?
- He totally passed out.
- Think he really needs some rest.
- Look, it's none of my business, but your dad is not okay.
- He needs help.
- I'll let myself out.

- Go.
- Fuck this.
- -[Sherry] What are you doing?
- -Stand back!
- You just shot my ear.
- She caught her husband cheating with your stepmom and she murdered her!
- Get us out of here, Theo.

Joe: Oh, fuck. I'm gonna need more tarps.
- No! [groans]
- Oh, my God.
- -Cary?
- -You didn't graze me.
- You fucking... shot me in the leg.

- I came to realize it's a lot simpler than I was making it.
- Here's what you do as a parent: You keep them healthy and safe and be a good person.
- That's it. Protect, be good, get out of the way.
- To be honest, I'm jealous.
- You have it all ahead of you.

- Dad, I got you dinner.
- Dad?
- Come on, you can be mad at me, but at least eat something.

- I'm sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
- This isn't forever.
- I love you more than anything.
- Hey.
- I don't know what to say.

- Yeah.
- Now... where were we?
Joe: I just can't tell.
- Something wrong?
- Oh, I'm great.
- Why don't we get on the bed?

- Do you think they could see that her heart stopped?
- -I didn't invent the fucking ring.
- -[Matthew] Stop!
- Hey. Hey, man.
- No, listen to me.
- We need to stop production, then.
Joe: He hasn't put it together yet, but it's only a matter of time.
- Natalie's been gone over 24 hours.
- Our window is rapidly closing.

- With this?
Joe: New trope: wishing you had Chekhov's gun to fire.
- I think I'll call the cops.
- Great. I'll tell them about the drugs in your car.
- You tell that bitch, she's lucky I didn't kill you.
- You got it?

- Mm. Leez. Hi. Come on in.
- Please. How long has it been?
- -Gosh, couple years, right?
- -Yeah, couple of years. That's right.
- Thanks, Theo. I'm hearing great things about your work on the corporate side.
- The team loves you. You've come a long way from the cocky, young coder
- -who hacked my e-mail.
- -My asshole days are far behind me.
- Here's the thing. Not too far, I hope.
- I need your help with something. Please.

- I guess that seems fair.
Joe: This wasn't the plan, but I can't blame you.
- You're trying to solve an impossible problem, and that problem is Ryan.
Travis: Why don't you just sleep in your office? I don't care.
[Fiona] Travis!

- I just wanted to make sure that I made you a nice dinner first.
- Okay.
- Something is up with her.
- Did she kill someone else and she's trying to distract me?
- I have a little less time.
- -Okay.
- -A little you time, actually.

- No, I need my power back.
- I need justice. I need karmic retribution.
- -Do you want hot sauce?
- -I want all the hot sauce and a lighter.
- Excuse me?
- I'll give you...
- 300 dollars for a lighter.

- -Easy, hon!
- -Is that my nine?
- Just sit and be quiet.
- New rules. One of you takes this, shoots the other.
- I let whoever lives out.
- -Are you insane?
- -Wait, what?
- Well, if your marriage is so perfect, stay together, die together.

- Your phone is dead in my nightstand because you are dead.
- And no one will ever read this.
- So, what am I confessing for?
- Speaking of terrible mothers...
- Ugh. The last thing I need is a weekend all about Dottie and her second act.
- I wish you were here.
- I need you.

- I shouldn't have left you alone.
- Hey, Dante, can you watch Henry for just a little bit?
- Oh, my God. Yes.
- -Bring the little prince here.
- -Thank you. I'll be there soon.
- Love thinks I'm getting rid of evidence.
- Ought to buy me some time.
- I'm coming, Marienne.
- Don't do anything you'll regret.

[first lines]
Joe: [thinking to himself] It's been three whole days since I've seen you. I failed you, Beck, and this is my punishment. Is this my walk to the gallows? Should I be preparing last words? Some humans, Beck, are cancer. Peach is Stage IV metastatic. I tried to cut out the mess before it consumed you, but now, best case, got to go in there and win an Oscar kissing the ring. Worst case: she knows it was me and it's over. Is this an ambush? Will you love me in prison?

Nurse: Does he have a middle name?
- Forty Quinn-Goldberg.
- We were told it would be a girl.
Nurse: Oh, probably just shy.
- -Kept the goods hidden.
- -Karma. God owed us a boy.
Joe: As I was saying, fucked.

- That boy will distract you from your son.
Joe: I can't cage what's inside of me.
- Better to feed it just enough to keep it in check, but make sure it knows the rules.
- So now I have you, Marienne.
- Things will be different this time.

- But that little voice in the back of my head that I've been suppressing this whole fucking time, it was right.
- I'm not the problem.
- My husband is the problem.

- It's not just our son.
Joe: This is new.
- Exciting.
- The joy of being a team.
- And I'd be remiss if I didn't admit, we have an excellent therapist.

- How could she know?
- It's roast chicken.
- -Hmm. Where's Henry?
- -He's asleep.
- -I'm gonna check on him.
- -No.
- Sit.
Joe: She knows.

- And then I will be back as soon as I can. Okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Oh, my God.
- Joe.
- I have a plan.

- I want nothing more in the world, Love.
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Too bad, tomorrow,
- Henry and I will be gone.
- Of course, this all hinges on the only question that matters.
- When I go... will you come with me?

- you ungrateful, little bitch.
- You have no idea what I had to do to give it to you.
- Your choice to fuck the neighbor boy or blow up your life has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you being spoiled and bored.
- I'll take the blame for spoiling you.
- But the source of your unhappiness?
- Look in the mirror instead of spouting your hypocrisy at everyone else.

- Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
- I mean, if we did find something...
- It would probably be something that indicated she's not alive anymore.
- I know this is hard.
- And I'd just say to you, let us keep working.
- -[dogs barking]
- -[whistles blowing]

- There's the Love I remember, free, open.
Joe: I couldn't be happier for--
- Oh, there it is. Compersion.
- Come on. I wanna show you what I set up in the bedroom.
Joe: And I'm officially terrified.

- I went into his office, and he hired a PI to stalk people.
- And he has all this insane conspiracy shit about Natalie's murder with these names of people in Madre Linda, including you and Joe.
- What?

- Cary says this trip's about being a man.
- I think it's about being a kid again.
- Hmm.
- Here.
- You can have a meaningful experience while maintaining a normal blood-sugar level.
- Thank you.

- Hey, hey, hey. You're okay.
Joe: Note to self, if you take a baby on a drunk joyride to go burn down a vineyard, make sure you're a rich, white lady whose lawyer can get you in a fancy rehab instead of jail.
- -Thank you for--
- -What the fuck were you thinking?
- Just put him to bed, okay? I've got this.

- "Happily ever after" looks a lot different than I thought.
- And a family, the reality of one, might not be for everyone... but it's all I've ever wanted.
- So I'm gonna make this work.
- No matter what it takes.
- Goodbye, you.

- I can't believe it's taken me this long.
- I'm growing.
- "The absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth, free.
- What then shall we choose?
- Weight or lightness?"
- -Hey, what--?
- -[Marienne] Hey. It's an emergency.
- I'm sorry for calling so late.

- I put the ring on the sink so it looked like she washed her hands.
- What now?
- I know where to go.

- who mysteriously don't attend today's party.
Joe: Not better.
- -That's not what I'm saying.
- -No?
- What I'm hearing is that you would really like some alone time.
- So I'm gonna go take Henry and let you work in peace.
- Not what I said.

- Come on, bro! Clock me, motherfucker!
- What you gonna do, Goldberg?
- Fucking hit me!
- Now!
- -[Cary screaming]
- -[thuds]
Joe: Oh, shit.

- It's enough.
- Where are you going?
- Shit.
- I am calling a Lyft.
- Excuse me for hoping my daughter would lend a sympathetic ear.
- -[door opens, then closes]
- -[cell phone chimes]

- Do you have a first aid kit?
- Yeah.
Joe: It feels right.
- Taking care of you.
- There. I think you'll live.
- -Does it hurt?
- -Nothing more wine won't cure.

- Hey. Wondering if I should put Henry down.
- I'm not sure when Joe's coming.
- Let me know. No presh.
- What?
- Hey, Dante.
- Yeah, thank you so much for taking him.
- Let me double-check with Joe. If I can't reach him, I'll call you in a sec.
- Thank you.

- You're not hearing me because I'm not saying that.
- We need to be clear.
- You're erasing everything you've gathered of your own volition and entirely alone.
- And throwing the whole thing away because, damn it,
- I just felt like an upgrade. Got it.
- Hey, I'm sorry,
- I was just coming to look for my charger.

- So let me be blunt. Grow up.
- That boy will distract you from your son.
- I know you love Henry, but that doesn't mean you won't harm him.
- Here, have some of my cab sauv.
- Much healthier addiction than a teen boy.
- Now, if you'll excuse me, my crush Rachel Maddow is waiting.

- Your stuff has to be good.
- -That, I'm not worried about.
- -Then nothing to worry about.
- Except landlord has another offer.
- But he loves me, so sign a 3-year lease today and you're golden.
- I already sent you papers to e-sign.
- -Can I--? Can I see downstairs?
- -Yeah, let's go.

- Hard to be invisible with the greatest lady magnet in the history of the species strapped to you.
- The Fifth Season, Gone Girl, Seabiscuit.
- Okay, I'm stumped. Why those?
- -Who are you?
- -[Henry crying]
- Oh, Henry, okay.

Joe: We can't be sure what or who might come at us, but I know from experience, this gives us options.
- This offers us time to slow down, reflect and respond.
- It feels nice trusting you with this part of me.
Joe: For the most part.

- Okay.
- One foot in front of the other.

- Yes?
Love: Friends and neighbors...
- I'd like to thank you for welcoming my family with open arms, but... you didn't.

- You've done so much.
- How about we just get back to it?
- -Thank you.
- -Of course.
- Let's go.
- -So that happened.
- -"A hard day"?
- Fucking seriously?

- Excuse me, sir.
- You calling Uber?
- It's gonna rain. Get in.

- Love, this is my son, Theo.
- -I didn't know you had a son.
- -Stepson from my first marriage.
- Thank you, but we're dealing with something right now.
- Let's go.
- -Enjoy.
- -Yeah.
- Have a good night.

- It made her hate me so much, she put me here.
- So I thought, with Fiona,
- I didn't want her to hate me.
- For the record, you don't know how your mom feels. You're making it up.
- Hey, trust me, I do it too.
- But I'll never actually know why mine left me here.
- Neither will you.

Joe: I don't want it to happen here like this.
- I want you some place luxurious.
- You deserve that.
- The car is fine. Shut up and kiss me.
- Did you just read my mind?

Joe: We're putting down roots, building a future for our son.
Joe: You'll dominate your little corner of this town.
- And I...
- I'm gonna find mine.
- It's time.
- -This gonna become an everyday thing?
- -I hope so.

- -I'm sorry about--
- -No, it's fine.
- I wolf you.
Joe: Wolf? We're dog-on-a-leash now.
- This is fine. It's normal.
- It's fine.
- And if it feels like it's not, maybe I'm the problem.

Joe: I'd give anything to.
- Joe, where the fuck are you, brother?
- I wish I could, but...
- No, no, no. It's okay.
- No, you've actually-You've done enough.
- Thanks for answering, Goldberg.

Dottie: Schadenfreude is karmic suicide.

- "When you've been worked on for so long, you never know you're done."
- Jericho Brown.
- You know his work?
Joe: What am I doing, using my old games on you? I'm not this guy anymore.
- I read his work in The New Yorker, and that line... stayed with me.
- But I don't know his writing much, actually.

- And this fucking guy...
Joe: He's gonna tell them
- I threw him off a fucking cliff, that I'm crazy, whatever the opposite is of "part of the tribe."
- Goldberg is a fucking animal.
- Come here.
- You are one fine specimen of a man, Joe.

- I'm gonna go check on him.
- -Let me get--
- -No, I'll check him. I'll get him.

- I'm gonna take care of you.
- I promise.
- Okay?
- He's not gonna hurt you anymore.
- I'll be back.
- Okay.

- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- How do you get it so fucking moist?
- Come show me.
- Yeah. Just like that.

- Love Quinn became the Mrs. Lovett of Madre Linda.
- Once the nausea passed, people were ravenous for her.
- Her tragic family history, her quasi-feminist revolt against upper-class hypocrisy.
- A bit of a folk hero, more famous even than Guinevere Beck.

- Oh, shit.
- Love is gonna kill you.

- You'll look just like
- Matthew's douchebag kid.
- Sealed and everything.
- It's almost like you anticipated needing it all along.
- -Shut up.
- -You shut up.
- Where are you going?
- Where you should be going.
- Boo Radley's house.

- -What happened at school?
- -Decided to take some time off.
- With everything that happened, felt like it was starting to get to me.
- Hey, that's okay.
- I can understand.
- -We could go grab some food.
- -I can't. I've got stuff to do inside.
- Yeah, yeah. For sure.

- You're under a lot of stress.
- I know you don't mean--
- God. I want you to leave.
- I came here for a fresh start, and you followed me here and brought all your toxic garbage with you.
- You have so much anger.
- It's not healthy.

- Stupid fun, really.
- Yeah, you and your wife, Love.
- Just having fun.
- Yeah, again,
- I apologize if it disturbed you.
- We were saying we should have you over for dinner sometime soon.
- Yeah, real busy with work. But sometime.
- Sometime.

- -Our marriage is completely one-sided.
- -That is absurd.
- You made me kill her.
- In addition to being mother of the fucking year,
- I had to run interference on one of your fucking patterns!
- -I killed Natalie for you!
- -Shut... up.

- That's for her.
- Robbery-homicide may have to do.
[woman] Oh, my God. Help!
- -[Joe] Always stay through Shavasana.
- -[woman] Help! Somebody call 911!

- We were worried.
- -What happened?
- -Please don't talk to me in that tone of voice like I'm about to jump off a goddamn building.
- Have you?
- Sometimes I just like to sit and count the creases in the paper bag.
Joe: You're embarrassed.
- You don't want me to see you like this.

- -What?
- -Might want to wait in the car with Henry.
- I can handle it. Just fucking do it.
Joe: We'll see.

- I think about it with Forty.
- If he'd grown up differently, maybe--
- I get it.
- I'm just... trying to fix this.
- Hey.
- I love you.

- You're saying, "I don't know."
- You hit him and put him in a cage when we could've--
- -Sued him.
- -The cage was your idea.
- -No, no, no. We are not going to--
- -How--?
- You are not making me kill anyone!
- We are not doing that to our son.

- It's very therapized.
- Mm.
- What'd you have in mind?
Joe: Even with therapy, our wounds may take a long time to heal.
- We can't just erase our worst impulses.
- But maybe we can control them.

- Are you okay?
- Go hang out with your friends.
- Who pissed in her Wheaties?
- That guy she's dating hurts her.
- What are you gonna do about it?
- Gonna beat him up?
- Come on, man. Didn't you learn from last time with your mom?

- -I don't know what I was thinking.
- -I've had a long day.
- -It was a good idea.
- -Yeah, of course.
- I don't know why I'm trying to blow you the second you walk in the door, that's silly.
Joe: I did not anticipate this.
- Love is unpredictable.
- I'm gonna have to fix this.

- You're only friends because she's the only option in town.
- It's not a crime to fit in, Theo.
- Maybe you'll understand that when you're older.
- You've changed.
- That's not always a bad thing.
- Enjoy the muffins. Okay?

- Cary Conrad uses this stuff all the time.
- So it shouldn't exacerbate your head injury.
- Too much.
- Julie.
- Julia.
- Julia Quinn-Goldberg.

- -Really? That's great.
- -Yeah. I'm sorry.
- I mean, I really-I am hungry.
- Well, no, no, that's great.
- I'll bring you something back.
- What do you want? Al pastor?
- Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. Thanks, Dad.
- Sure.

- You know... publicity... it has a way of flattening.
- Flattening you and the people you love into types.
- And it's really hard because nobody will ever let you forget what happened.
- Yeah.

Joe: She's the best wife ever... while I'm doing this.
- All to prove you aren't worth it.
- You are just a fleeting crush.

- It's what I've done with Cary, and my vagina has never been happier.
- Look, I'll send you a post
- I wrote about it.
- Along with an RSVP list of the guests
- -with food allergies.
- -Okay.
- Thanks again.
- Whoo!

- She's not a boring, tired suburban mom.
- She's fun. Wild.
- Still the Love Quinn who flirts with strangers in the produce section.
- Which is why I'm going to satisfy her as only someone who knows her can.
- Safe. Reliable.
- We can do anything together.

Joe: All books add up to one essential truth, which is, if your IQ is above a certain number, life is pretty much unbearable. And the number is not even that high.

- If you were here, you'd laugh.
- You said I'd be a terrible mom.
- Number two might be in me as we speak, and there's no one I can tell that...
- I'm not sure I want it.
- Stop insinuating.
- It's not Theo's baby.
- Couldn't be, I don't think.

- You can let us out.
- Everybody will believe you.
- It's always the husbands.
- You know, they force us into these shapes and we break.
- But you and me, we're strong, right?
- All you gotta do is...
- He fucking betrayed you, Love.

- For now, friends are hopeful that the police will find her with the help of this community.
- Reporting live from Madre Linda,
- Ryan Goodwin, Channel 3 News.
- We got it.
- Every day it's the same fucking story.
- We need him to give a statement.

- Brutal, man. Brutal.
- Yeah.
Joe: And just like that, Ryan Goodwin takes one small step off the wagon...
- Today's already so fucked.
- I'm calling in sick so we can get blasted.
- -...and one giant leap toward rock bottom.
- -Let's do it.
Joe: You're welcome, Marienne.

Joe: This.
- This is real.
- I don't have to pretend with you.
- I'm the real me. This is our beginning.
- I'll find a way to fix everything, so that this is our every day.

- Why does she look like that?
- I had to remove her teeth.
- Right. Dental records. Yeah.
- Where did you put them?
- The teeth? Don't wanna find them in a hidey-hole in my house.
- You won't. It's safer if you don't know.

- I fell in love with a certain version of her.
- What do you think?
- -It's okay.
- -Exactly. This is the best bakery in town?
- Shoddy lamination. Too sweet.
- -Definitely didn't use French butter.
- -Yeah. Yeah, banish them.
- Off with their heads. Done.

- Something is going on.
- You're always distracted.
- -I'm not distracted.
- -Why won't you tell me?
- I've got him.
- I'm gonna take him to his grandma's.
- -Love.
- -No, don't worry about it, Joe.
- Enjoy the quiet.

- Jacob?
- Jakey, let's go.
- Such a nice day, right?
- There's nothing I'd rather do than be with you, buddy.

- turns out, it can come back.
- Maybe this is what we were looking for in each other, Natalie.
- What I needed from you.
- A way back to Love.
- Maybe, thanks to you,
- I can make this work.

- It's cracked. Maybe that's good.
- Could've just broken when--
- In the bakery when she fell.
- But what if it didn't?
- Still have to move it.
- The body can't be where the ring died.
- -So just...
- -Yeah.

- I don't know what you think you heard...
- But we're...
- There you go.
- It's gonna end badly for Love too.
- Sherry knows Krav Maga.
- Go to sleep, buddy.

- Frame him. Trying to think of a word not from a movie.
- It's fine. I'm in.
- How?
- I do still have one thing from the box.
- Natalie's scarf with her blood on it.
- I only kept it for insurance.
- Take care of it.

- -Does this have GPS?
- -[Cary] We all wear them.
Joe: If Matthew has access to Natalie's ring, he'll be able to see exactly where she is.
- I put the ring on the sink so it looked like she washed her hands.
- So... they know.
Joe: We've got this. Together.

- It's done.
- I'm ending it.
- I would do anything for you.
- It's just, ask. Just ask me.
- What am I supposed to do now?
- What do you want?

- Did you get vaccinated, Joe?
- He's not moving! Somebody get a doctor!
- Somebody help me!
[Fiona] Joe?
- Are you not feeling well?
- I'm Nurse Fiona.
- I'm going to check you out.
- Come in. Sit down.

- It's going to be beautiful.
- -Thank you.
- -Marienne, you have to submit this.

Joe: And have you both cross? No, no, no.
- It'll be pretty boring.
- I wouldn't want to inflict that upon you.
- How'd I end up with such a thoughtful husband?
Joe: This game is tricky.
- Juggling you and Love won't be easy.
- But if this is the game I have to play to get closer to you, then game on.

- Is it me?
- I'm trying.
- I'm in over my head.
- He said, using an idiom his son will never understand because it's impossible to communicate with babies.
- Yeah, right. Exactly.

- And if you feel too overwhelmed, just use the safe word: Hakuna matata.
- Disney should sue these people.
- Okay. No more talk. Let's dance.
- Love?
- Hey, you.

- If you hadn't lied, you wouldn't be sick.
- Tell the nurse. She was a terrible mother.
- -Stop it.
- -She was selfish and crazy.
- -Stop.
- -Didn't take care of you.
- Go away. Go away!
- -Where are you going?
- -It's too late now!

- a professor at Stanford University.
- In a letter, Mr. Brigham confessed he murdered Mrs. Engler and disposed...
Joe: And the town of Madre Linda settles into begrudging acceptance that the sordid tale of suburban ennui, sex and murder has come to an end
- 'cause, well, what bored suburbanite isn't gonna buy that?

Joe: There is a hospital 20 minutes away.
- My escape window is closing.
- I gotta keep this kid from blabbing the second he's admitted.

- If someone... sees me...
- -Why does she look like that?
- -I had to remove her teeth.
- If someone sees the real me... they'll go away.
- For good.

- and accepted me anyway.
- Is this what it feels like to have friends?
- Fitting in is not always the worst.
- Yes, they're silly. Yes, what happens out here is fucking nuts.
- All I know... is I feel like me again.

- Why is that so important?
- Why does love have to be unconditional?
- Because if anyone... saw... how ugly I can be...
- They'll go away for good.

- You are? Oh, my God.
- -Is it Joe's or that neighbor kid's?
- -Keep your voice down. I was--
- I have seconds before kickoff.
- We'll finish this later.
- Maybe a little lipstick, sweetheart?
- You're pale.
Love: Remember pretending to be orphans?
- That was fun.

- It's fine.
- Come on. Let's go. Let's go.
- -[Henry stops crying]
- -Hey, hey, hey.
Joe: Why does my own child not like me?
- You know, babies can tell when your heart's not in it.
- -I-What--?
- -No. I'm sorry. It's all in my head.

- Does that mean
- I can stop reading Sherry's shitty blog?
- There's still time to bond with him.
- Try reading him something other than Fitzgerald. He is a baby.
- Yeah, I'll give it a shot.
- Should we go home?
- Yeah, let's go home.

- Hey, kid.
- Love that book.

- Lipstick.
- Are you going on a date?

- Dwell Magazine, Twilight Zone fucking purgatory forever.
- -Is it that bad here?
- -Ha.
- If you're not careful, you'll start caring about private schools, stock portfolios, start reading on a Kindle.
- Fuck.

- Hi.
- Get away from me!
- -It was only supposed to graze you.
- -No! That--
- -[Sherry] You just made me so mad!
- -That was your pull--
- -Hey.
- -Hey.
- Hey.

- So safe.
- Solid.
- Do you think we're solid?
- I think we're solid.
- -I mean, if you think we are...
- -Yeah.
- You'll call the sitter? I'll text Sherry.
- -Okay.
- -Okay.

- I'm still very unclear as to why you decided to volunteer here.
- I'm at the hospital.
- Henry has the measles.
- -Who do you think it was?
- -Not closed yet, are you?
- Can't tell you how sorry we are for exposing Henry.
- We hope you won't hold it against us.
- -Hey, Gil.
- -Yep?

[Chandra] There you go.
- You know what else they don't tell you about teammates?
- The sex is better.
- Like, "Don't bother to describe it to your unmarried friends" better.
- The passion fueled by the deepest trust.
- And it's fucking primal.

- Okay.
- But I'll figure it out.
- I will.
- Okay.
- You're the best.
- Fucking creep show.

- -♪ You didn't even hear me out ♪
- -♪ You didn't even hear me out ♪
- -♪ You never gave a warning sign ♪
- -♪ I gave so many signs ♪
- -♪ I never learned to read your mind ♪
- -♪ Never learned to read my mind ♪
- -♪ I couldn't turn things around ♪
- -♪ You never turned things around ♪
- -♪ 'Cause you never gave a warning sign ♪
- -♪ I gave so many signs... ♪

- Mutually-assured destruction.
- Get something that he doesn't want anyone else to know about and he can't expose us.
- -He opens his mouth, we open ours.
- -Worked for me once before.
- It would have, Benji.
- -He may look like a choirboy...
- -So did Dahmer.

- -Reporters, I get it.
- -Yeah.
- -You sure I can't help you home?
- -I'm okay. I'm okay.
- My wife and kid are coming back.
- -You've done more than enough.
- -Okay. Get home safe.
- Don't wanna find you passed out by the trash again.
- Mm.

- Thank you for listening.
- Let's go.

Joe: Chekhov, you fucker. I can't, right?
- That's the guy Love wants me to be.
- Then again, people like us, we figure it out.
- Ryan has to die.

- Henry. Henry.
- Henry, you see?
- You're getting into my head.
- I'm gonna do everything I can.
- I just don't know what that means yet.
- I...

Love: Joe, you didn't kill Delilah. I did.

- I know it was something.
- Oh, it's no big. I just...
- I got a weird vibe from the guy
- I rent the bakery from.
- I wanna make sure he's legit.
- I don't want to put in all of this work just to have the property seized by the IRS.
- I'll get you his number.

Joe: Sometimes, we do bad things for the people we love. It doesn't mean it's right, it means love is more important.

- -You do seem happy.
- -[Sherry] No Cymbalta here.
Joe: Why do I still feel so on the outside?
- Joe, come over here, sweetie.
- The vibe is much better.
- -Wow.
- -Oh, yeah.
- I think Theo's visiting home.
- Theo.

- No.
- It's like you're playing house.
- But none of this actually makes you happy.
- I'm playing house?
- You're a teenager chasing after a married woman.
- What's your endgame?

- But I have a new purpose now and that's protecting my family.
- -From you. [laughs]
- -How can you say that? I'm your mother.
- Having no mother would be better.
- You think you're so much better than me?
- You're just me 20 years ago.
- One day, you will lose everything too.
- And then you'll see how cruel you really are.

- Monica's math.
- Who the fuck has a geo tutor, Cary? No one!
- You know what?
- We're not gonna fucking debate which parent gets to live!
- Fuck this.
- -What are you doing?
- -Stand back!

- I'll be back in, like, ten minutes.
- Then... I'm gonna save our fucking marriage.
Joe: What the fuck am I gonna do now?
- Theo, come on, answer your texts.
- Look, we're mad, that's fine.
- But now I'm worried.
- Call me back or I'm calling the police.
- I'm serious.

- Well, it's go time.
- Oh, welcome back.
- I missed you.
Joe: Someone's loose.
- -Are you okay? You still seem tense.
- -You think?
- -I'm good. No, I'm good.
- -He's just a little shy.

- Mm.
- Let me be clear. You fascinate me.
- But Love is my soul mate, mother of my child, love of my life.
- And my job as a husband and a father is to keep it that way.

- The end of our story remains unwritten.
- Did you pity me when you read what happened?
- Did it erase the fear she planted?
- Do you still think about us?
- Can't believe how many people left
- New York after the pandemic.
- Way before that. The election?
Joe: But I have to believe our paths are destined to cross again.

- Especially when everything else feels so unfixable.
- Oh, shit. I knew it, we're late.
Joe: What am I fighting for?
- What am I fighting for?
- -Is this really the life I want?
- -Hi.
- -Welcome.
- -The only thing worse than a kid's party is a rich kid's party.

- -Perish the thought.
- -Hmm.
- Since we're friends now, what else did you take?
Joe: A Dickens, a Shelley, a signed early Strand.
- -Nothing.
- -Mm-hm.
- Make sure that's still true when I look real hard tomorrow.
- Okay?

- -Your mother knew and she told me.
- -My mother is a malicious bitch.
- All I'm saying is that we can part ways amicably.
- Be there for Henry, support him, co-parent, and give each other the chance to be happy.
- Love...
- I want a divorce.

- but because he taught you that you don't deserve a second chance, but you do.
- We both do.
- I don't feel bad about this.
- It isn't like what Love does.
- She is crazy, impulsive.
- But real evil has to be dealt with and you don't do that by letting it live to take good people down.

- Oh, ho-ho-ho.
- Oh, Marienne.
- You are the only one who could make whatever's about to happen worthwhile.
- It's okay, you can look at it.
- Look at my dick.
- Welcome to the real party, brother.

- Well, that happened.
- -You killed it.
- -You were so great.
- -Yeah?
- -Yeah. Flawless, unimpeachable.
- Dare I say, unironically, mother of the year.
- I'm so glad you were here. Both of you.
- Thank you.

- -but is actually perfectly capable of it.
- -Want some?
- Mm. Thank you.
- I don't let myself think about who Love is, what she is.
- My job is to be a good husband so I can be a good father.
- Hey, Natalie!
- Hi.

- That's-That's so generous.
- -I am generous.
- -You really are, and I'm an asshole.
- -No, you're not. You're just--
- -I am. And it's been so crazy.
- And I was just thinking about that bite.
- And you were hungry?
- -Yeah.
- -Me too.

- My wife.
- I deserve this.
- Aw, Daddy's still working.

- I'm leaving out the part where if your marriage isn't on rock-solid footing, swinging is all but guaranteed to nuke it, aka the dream.
- Still, after my conversation with Dottie about the fate of Love's first husband,
- I need to tread lightly.
- Be game but not too. Make it all her idea.

Joe: The first step to fixing something is to know no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved.

- I really am.
- Well, I guess I have you to thank.
- For getting Theodore to come.
- He told me you talked to him.
- -He called you a kind person.
- -I barely said anything. I just...
- He seems like a good kid.
- Excuse me.

- You're just who you are.
- You don't hide or embellish, you own your mistakes and stand up to the strikes against you. You're so...
- Oh! No! Please, no!
- It's okay, look.
- I think, it's-It's just us.

- You're a fucking monster.
- I always knew your marriage was a sham.
- But... it looks like the only murderer in this room is you, Sherry.

Joe: He's lying.
- -Are you absolutely sure?
- -[Gil] I'm cool!
- I'm cool. Let me out, please?
- No doubt. He'll go straight to the police.
- -Fuck.
- -Guys, let's be grown-ups about this!
- -Now what?
- -Come on!

- Maybe they didn't hear anything.
- We have to know for sure.
- Okay, well,
- Sherry has this tell when she's lying, she scratches her arm.
- I'll follow your lead.
- Okay.

- I killed the adulterer next door.
- I framed the anti-vaxxer who sickened my child, hunted down the reporter who threatened us.
- I trapped the couple who tried to sabotage us.
- Forced them to really see each other.
- Babe.

[man] Nineteen bucks? It's crazy.
- I'll give you 2 bucks.
- This isn't a pawnshop, sir.
- We don't negotiate late fees.
- Manager. I wanna speak to a manager.

- It hurts me to leave these here.
- He doesn't deserve any part of you, but it's temporary, Marienne.
- I'm gonna fix it for you.
- Fix him.

- Of course.
- Your husband's screwing someone else while you're what, changing diapers?
- Sherry, shut the fuck up.
- Where is he now?
- Fuck him. Letting you fix a marriage that never stood a chance in the first place.

- Nurse Fiona,
- I think you'll like this. It's--
- Wait for you outside, beautiful.

Joe: Unremarkable people don't worry about being unremarkable.

- is that I used primitive tools to carve out the time and space I need to go on a certain kind of hunt.
- I'll admit, this is all a bit elaborate.
- And this ploy will only fool you once.
- But after what happened with Natalie, you can't blame me for covering my tracks.
Theo: Oh, fuck.
- Oh, my God.

- That's it?
Joe: Contrary to popular belief, it's not always the husband.
- But we're not going down for this either.
- They've got nothing.
- Even if they find something, we'll take care of it.
- We always do.

- Actually, I probably need it tonight.
- Okay. Down the hatch.
- Thattaboy.
- Now... allow me to introduce you to my ritual for a night like tonight.

- ...is being a good husband-No, no.
- No, the best husband, so Love doesn't get suspicious about what's really going on.
- That I can't stop thinking about you,
- Marienne.
- It's been two days since our sprinkler-soaked night.
- You haven't texted, but I know better than to overplay my hand.

- Is there something wrong?
- Are you okay with this?
- More than okay.
Joe: I'm embarrassed for us.

- It's great. I should have said great.
- Wait.
- Ah. Not again.
- Hold on, I just--
- -I need a sec.
- -Hey, it's fine. It's fine.
- I'm tired anyway.

- I don't fucking believe that, okay?
- I can't fucking believe that.
- I just keep thinking.
- If I look harder, I'm gonna see it.
- Okay, you have combed through this thoroughly. Am I wrong?
- You have to decide if you're gonna let this hunch destroy you, your company, this family.
- These people are coming for you.
- It needs to be gone.

Joe: Huh. The burbs are even more miserable than I thought.
- Um-I, um...
- Aw, damn you.
- Oh, yeah, those look worth fucking my glycemic variability for.
- Okay. Well...
- -Mm.
- -Here you go.

- You don't need to tell me everything.
- I trust you.
- -Wow. That was some weekend you had.
- -Yeah. Really, it was.
- Fuck, okay, okay.
- -People are here. Get a shower real quick.
- -Yeah.
- Okay.

- Cement is set.
- We're in the clear.
- -Anything from next door?
- -Not that I can see.
- She's been gone for days.
- He's gotta know by now.
- I wish I knew what he was thinking.

- Let me get some coffee. Yeah. Yeah.
- -Do you think he's warm?
- -I think he's just tired.
- Maybe I should stay.
- You're projecting your anxiety on your son.
- Go run your bakery.
- Forty and I are gonna have a beautiful day.

Joe: It's been said,
- "Nothing ever happens in the suburbs."
- -Hey.
- -Hey.
- It's an inadequate gesture for making sure I didn't die last week.
- Unnecessary. Thank you.
- I'm glad you're better.
- If you'll excuse me, I'm expecting a call.
Joe: Maybe it's more like,
- "Nothing ever really changes."

- He gets mad at you and he hurts you.
- He says he's sorry, it'll never happen again, and he gives you flowers, right?
- There are a lot of bad men out there, and sometimes you can't tell until it's too late.
- Go outside and eat with the other boys.

- When the shock wears off... and you feel safe jogging in your expensive athleisure again...
[Joe and Love] ...remember, you can get off the hamster wheel at any time.
Joe: You just have to be willing to burn it to the ground.

- Ryan is technically sober.
- But he's an emotional powder keg.
- He's transferred his addiction to drugs and alcohol to an addiction to his body and status.
- Ryan's sobriety is hanging by a thread.
- You put a pebble into the machine and wait for it to fail.
- Fuck. How many shakes does one man need?

- What a mess my wife has made.
- I loved her.
- Why did she do this?
- This is not your fault. She fooled me too.
- Are you gonna... kill me?

- I have to.
- To protect my daughter.
- Congratulations, Dad. It's a boy.
- -It's a boy?
- -Hey.
- -Hi.
- -[Joe] I'm fucked.
- And so is he.

- Big boy. [grunts]
- Yes.

- I'm fucking moved, man.
- -Oh, my God. You're alive.
- -Of course I'm alive.
- Been taking glutathione for a decade.
- I'm impossible to kill.
- -[shoulder cracks]
- -[groans]
- Ooh.

- to figure out how to, quote,
- "get rid of the Conrads."
- And I am tasked with restoring our home to a state of Rockwell perfection.
- Rockwell by way of Bettie Page, anyway.
- All while trying to keep my son's attention on his cartoon.
- Don't worry.
- After today, we're never doing this again.

- Holy fucking shit.
- I think that was the best sex we've ever had.
Joe: Yes, it was.
- The spark our marriage needed doesn't come from swinging.
- Our love language is violence.

- I have expertise in that area.
- Oh, so you want a job.
- Well, you know you need a Master's to work in a library, but...
Joe: Do you though?
- I will think about it.
- Thanks.

- but I'm married to her.
- If I go down too... what happens to our son?
- After Dottie's meltdown,
- Love drew up papers to prevent the Quinns from ever getting near him, but if not them or me, then--
- I can't let him get put somewhere like I was.

- Okay, so I know how it looks, but I was told this is the best walk-in freezer on the market.
- Let me show you the other storage room.
- Permits are easy.
- So you can have this place up and running crazy fast.

- -Yeah. Yeah.
- -Yeah. Yeah, go.
- But I don't want Love,
- I don't want Sherry.
- I don't want any of this.
- All I want is you.
- There you are.
- There you are.
- I knew you'd come.

- I can't let her feel that her mother could ever abandon her.
- So I'm leaving Madre Linda.
- You're leaving?
- Follow them to New Jersey, even if it means sleeping in my car, flipping burgers, whatever it takes.
Joe: I'm going to lose you.

- Cary, let's go back inside.
- We can talk about this.
- This is it. I never see you again.
- I get impaled, Love goes to prison.
- Henry grows up in the system.
- No.

- at my hearing?
- Of course. You're an incredible asset to the library.
- Cool. Great. Thanks.
- But I actually need you to play up the whole kick-ass mom thing.
- I will character witness the motherly living shit out of you.
- Thank you.

- Um...
- Yeah, thank you. Uh--
Joe: That was hope.
- The least I can do... is hasten the end of my marriage.

- Hey, uh... we're running low on diapers, so I'll be right back.
- Honestly, you're what's gotten me through this imprisonment.
- The green light at the end of my dock.
- Knowing you feel the same as I do.
- Hello, neighbor.

- I know what he is.
- You don't have to protect him anymore.
- I need you to leave.
- I need you to leave Madre Linda and never come back.
- Come with me, then.
- I can't.
- It's my family.

- It's a letter of introduction for the counselor who's gonna get your son into preschool.
- Hey, truth?
- One mother to another.
- In no universe would I ever jeopardize that baby's future.
- And trust me, you only get one shot at Ashman.

- Go.
- Hey, Sherry.

- The National Alliance on Mental Illness.
Joe: I'm beginning to think this generation may just save us all.
- That'll be $1,237.37.
- I only take Bitcoin.
Joe: The lengths I will go to for you,
- Marienne... including sneaking in while Ryan's at work and Juliette and Grandma are at ballet.

Joe: Despite living in some Greek myth about pushing a boulder of baby poop up a hill, it's incredible, the urge to protect.

Love: Fuck Dottie.
- What's she know?
- We were accessories to her.
- A couple of purse dogs she'd overfeed, then scream at when we shit on her Gucci wallet.
- Fuck Dottie.
- I hate her.

- then disrupting his morning routine will.
- He'll be off the beam by your next custody hearing.
- And we can thank my son's toys for that never-ending supply of drained batteries.
- I should go but not before I unearth more about my nemesis.
- Does this man own a book not written by Tim Ferriss or Tony Robbins?
- What's this?

- So... just be normal.
- Exactly.
- Something terrible happened to Natalie Engler.
- We had nothing to do with it.
- We are just the nice, normal neighbors next door.

- Hey, it's Fiona.
- Something happened.

- And I have to figure out how I'm gonna live with it.
- And Henry makes it worth it.
- -Yes.
- -Mm.
- -Yes, and I did not see that coming.
- -Mm-hm.
- Yeah, neither did I.
- I just want her back.

- -Oh, great.
- -Was that not the plan?
Joe: No, it sure wasn't.
- It was. She texted me and I spaced, so I'm sorry.
- Nice to see you both.
- See you.
Joe: Oh, no.

- That's amazing.
- You and my wife in the same place.
- I've got six people at the bakery setting up this insane stove situation.
- I'm gonna be up all night.
- I know your boss is picky, so I hope I'll make her happy.
- I'm sure you will.

[first lines]
Joe: [to therapist] That first perfect month we'd been to hell and back, we'd done the hard work, and we were closer than ever, we were living the dream. Couldn't keep our hands off each other, couldn't keep anything off each other. I was ready to wait it out during the grief period, no matter what that looked like. But it only brought us closer together. That month after the funeral was it was intimate. Real. Just made us... more. No doubt, awash with champagne But then, over the next few weeks, Something happened.

- I hear that her husband, he has to take pharmaceutical molly just so he can get it up for her.
- Yeah.
- Oh, and please tell me you saw that speech, right?
- I have to pee. Be right back.
- Okay.

- Why so wary?
- So scared to be seen.
- That's what I want in friends, to be inspired to wonder.
Marienne: Joe?
- -[Joe] Who is she?
- -Show me.
- Your drawing.

- You just do.
- Um...
- -Don't do that.
- -Yep.
- Oh, shit. I got a text from my dad.
- Whoa. They think they found something.
- They think they might have just found a murder weapon.

Joe: I'd imagined parenthood would feel like an essay by Nicholson Baker.
- Tiny moments made magnificent.
- Yeah.
Joe: Or maybe a novel by Louisa May Alcott.
- Hard work but rewarding. Noble, even.
- -Go, go, go.
- -Okay, okay, okay.

- I love that.
- You're the best dad to the best kids.
- And don't forget 6% body fat.
- You're down to--? Jesus.
- When we get out of here, you're gonna have all the burgers.
- And you'll be the hottest one-eared bitch in Madre Linda.

- I don't understand why I would go to this!
- -[Matthew] Theo, can you be reasonable?
- -You can't make me volunteer!
- -That's implied in the word "volunteer"--
- -Theo! Keep your voice down.
- Dad, they're making you look pathetic.
- I am not going.
- When you're ready to talk like a person above the age of 6, I'll be inside.

- Yeah.
- I guess one could argue,
- I was in a cage of my own making the moment I had kids.
- No, got married.
- And at some point, it all feels like the game is rigged.
- This was all and-Hilariously inevitable.

- of good places to disappear people?
- Considering who I'm married to, yeah.
- I kind of have to.
- Oh, I'm the psycho.
- How did you get rid of her so fast?
- How did you know where to go?
- -What were you planning for?
- -What are you insinuating?

- I have to choose Joe now.
- I'll always love you.
- But I have to say goodbye.
- For real this time.
- As much as it hurts.
- Goodbye, you.

- and I went and got Häagen-Dazs instead.
- Are you okay? You look a little flushed.
- I just had a drink with the neighbor.
- -Hmm. [chuckles]
- -You're right. She's crazy.
- Look, I'm sorry for running off.
- I just--

- To protect, yes.
- But can you be a good father if you're a bad man?
- It's not the kind of father I wanna be and the kind of mother you wanna be.
- Thank God.
- Our little Scout will be better for it.

Rhys: I never took you as a "top."

- I hate you too.
- For leaving me with her.
- You should've just eaten me in the womb, Forty.

- Oh, okay, so this is really happening.
- Uh-Mm. Ow.
- Watch.

- But Love has no loyalty for anyone but herself.
- If anything were to happen to you,
- I'd never forgive myself.
- Like a young Gregory Peck.
- Could Love have killed her first husband?
- I've been so worried about her hurting you that I failed to remember: I am also fair game.

- Just call me back as soon as you get this.
Joe: I left her to her own devices for too long.
- God knows what she--
- The Conrads are probably dead.
- Maybe she burned their house down, then bashed Matthew over the head.
- Goddamn it, Love.
- Who's that, Joe?

- Beck was a child.
- And Love? She fooled me into believing she was someone she wasn't.
- The only thing I'm thankful for, she brought our son into the world and led me to you.
- It's you, Marienne.
- Oh, no.

- Alrighty.
- Thank you.

- Also, a slob.
Joe: Everything suddenly feels real.
- I'm married but to the wrong person.
- What if you're the right one?
- Hey, where'd you go?
- Get out of your head.
- Come here.

Joe: Real love doesn't evaporate when things get hard.

- God is good!
- She is good.

- Call me if you wanna see it.
- Natalie. I wanted to see the place you were talking about.
- You can have this place up crazy fast.
- This place could be a raging success.
- So, what do you think? [gasps]
- Hey, Love. Hey, you okay?
- Joe, I think we need to go to couples therapy.

- Us ending.
- Me.
- Perfect. I got here just in time.
- Okay.
- Don't you worry, Joe.
- It's gonna be over real soon.

- -Did you have fun? All right.
- -Mm-hm.
- Henry's down for the night.
- Hey.
- Come to bed.
Joe: Mm. Trying to reignite the spark, and my move here is make it not so easy.

- Was that at the desk here?
- Her office. She'll be back in an hour.
- Okay. I think she meant while she's out.
- So diligent... after taking three hours to shelve that one cart this morning.
- Thank you.