Top 50 Quotes From 2012

Charlie: You'd have to keep a thing like this underwraps. I mean, just think about it, okay? First, the stock market would go. Then the economy, boom! The dollar, boom! And then pandemonium in the streets. War, genocide, ba-ba-ba-ba, boom, boom, boom!
Jackson: Bullshit. Nobody could keep that big a secret, Charlie. Somebody would blow the whistle.
Charlie: And every once in a while, some poor little sucker tries. Well, like these guys, boom, boom!
[pulls down a screen of posted obituaries]
Charlie: Every one of these guys, dead, dead, dead.
Jackson: [notices one of them] Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's Professor Meyers.
Charlie: He ran the Atlantis shuttle program. Why, did you know him?
Jackson: Yeah, he helped me with research on my book.
Charlie: Well, that must have been before this "accident."
Jackson: Meyers is dead?
Charlie: Oh, two months ago. He was one of my most avid listeners and he had it all figured out. Everything the government was doing, where and why... He even sent me a map.
Jackson: A map for what Charlie? What's the map for?
Charlie: They're building spaceships, man.
Jackson: Shit, man, I have to go because I gotta get back to Earth.

Gordon: What he said about you and Sasha, is it true?
Tamara: Sasha was worth 100 times a man like Yuri. I should have listend to you, Dr. Silberman. I actually like the way I looked before that monster talk me into it.
Gordon: Did you know he asked for a discount? And he paid in installments.
Tamara: Cheap bastard.

Professor: The equalization of the oceanic seabeds has not turned out to be as extreme as we expected. The waters are receding much faster than we thought, thank God. And this is hard to believe, the Himalayas are no longer the roof of the world. It's now the Drakensberg mountains of KwaZulu-Natal.
Adrian: The entire African continent has risen.
Professor: Several thousand feet, and likely never even flooded.
Captain: That's why they call it the Cape of Good Hope. We've already set course for it.

Carl: You're telling me that the North Pole is now some where in Wisconsin?
Professor: Actually, that's the South Pole now.

Kate: [on the phone with Jackson] Hello?
Jackson: [in the limo en route to Kate's house] Kate, stop what you're doing.
Kate: Jackson?
Jackson: Listen to me. I've rented a plane. Pack up the kids, I'm gonna be there in five minutes.
Kate: What are you talking about? We're gonna do our regular Saturday. Noah has music at 2 and Lil has karate.
Gordon: Not gonna expect him to remember.
Jackson: Kate, California is going down! Pack up the kids now!
Kate: They just got back. God, you sound like a cray person. The Governor just said we're fine.
Jackson: The guy's an actor! He's reading a script! When they tell you not to panic...
[makes a hard left]
Jackson: that's when you run!
Kate: Look, will you call me back when you calm down?
[hangs up phone]
Lilly: Mommy, why is Daddy so crazy?
[Gordon looks at Kate]
Kate: Finish your pancakes, Al Capone.

Jackson: We gotta get to the Santa Monica Airport!
Gordon: Well, take the freeway! It'll be half the time!
Jackson: [as the freeway collapses from the earthquake] Yeah, right!

Jackson: [to pilot] Here. Take this. This is a very expensive watch. My editor gave it to me when he thought I was gonna be somebody.

Jackson: Hey, have a safe trip, you little bastards.
Oleg: Now you're laughing, Curtis, but we have tickets to go on on a big ship. We will live and you will die.

[Outside the gates of the ark docks]
Kate: You don't have to save us, but please, just take my kids!
Tenzin: Why should I do that?
Jackson: The same reason you let in your family.

Kate: So, now that you have your map, where are we going?
[Jackson holds a one-finger signal before unfolding the map with the ships to discover that it is located in "China"]
Jackson: We're going to need a bigger plane.
[looks back at the map]

Yuri: [while flying over Hawaii] What is that?
Sasha: The State of Hawaii.
Yuri: Not good. That is not good.

Lama: Do not believe in something simply because you have heard it, Nima.
Nima: But great Lama, Tenzin is my brother. He works inside the tunnel, where the ships are built. But where is in your wisdom, great Lama, if Tenzin is right... what if our world is indeed coming to an end?
[Rinpoche responds by pouring tea into Tenzin's cup, causing it to overflow]
Nima: It is full, great Rinpoche.
[after a moment, Rinpoche stops]
Lama: Like this cup, you are full of opinions and speculations. To see the light of wisdom... you first must empty your cup.
[Tosses Nima the truck's keys]
Lama: Be careful with the clutch... it tends to slip.

Lilly: [inside Charlie's camper] That guy's crazy. Right, daddy?
Jackson: No. I don't think so.

Adrian: The moment we stop fighting for each other, that's the moment we lose our humanity.

President: [seconds before the White House is destroyed] I'm coming home, Dorothy.

[They're about to drive out from the plane with the Bentley]
Jackson: All right, let's go!
Tamara: Wait! Where's Sasha?
Gordon: Sasha's fine. We need to get out of here before he touches down.
Tamara: No, no, no! We have to wait for him.
Yuri: Go Jackson, go!
Jackson: [Tries to start the car] It won't start!
[Everyone panics]
Yuri: Shut up, everbody!
[Everyone stops screaming]
Yuri: Engine... start!
[Car starts]

President: Six months ago, I was made aware of a situation so devastating that, at first, I refused to believe it. However, through the concerted efforts of our brightest scientist, we have confirmed its validity. The world, as we know it, will soon come to an end.

Laura: No toothbrush. Only books.
Adrian: You know, when I was a kid, my dad was on the road a lot. He would give me a box full books, call me every night and quiz me. I'd get an ice cream cone for every book I read, so I was a fat kid.
Laura: I find that very hard to believe.
Adrian: No, it's true. My high school career was 2,000 books and zero girlfriends.
Laura: I didn't even kiss a boy till I was in college. They were all to scared of my dad.

Adrian: Who are you bringing?
Carl: Nobody. Who, my ex-wife? Last thing she said to me, she never wanted to see me again. So be it.

Sasha: [while flying the Antonov] Lift your big ass for Sasha!

Kate: Do you think people change?
Jackson: By "people," do you mean me?
Kate: Yes. Do you think you've changed since we separated?
Jackson: I certainly eat a lot more cereal now.

[Ark: Impact warning. Thirty degrees west. Forty-five degrees east. Target elevation, 29,035 feet]
Carl: 29,000 feet? What the hell is at 29,000 feet?
Captain: We're headed straight for the north face of Mount Everest, Mr. Anheuser. And if we can't start our engines, we will not survive the impact.

Carl: [about Laura Wilson] Cute girl, huh?
Adrian: Sir?
Carl: The First Daughter. I saw you looking at her.
Adrian: I wasn't looking at her.
Carl: Better move fast, kid. The end is near.

Charlie: [on radio] Folks, did you hear that? The authorities in L.A. say there's nothing to worry about. I'd love to see their dumb faces when Malibu and Beverly Hills get sucked into the gurgling maw of the Pacific. Where are they going to plug in their electric cars then? Ha, ha, ha.

[Both are on the phone]
Tony: I- I'm sorry. Who is this?
Yoko: This is Yoko Delgatto. Do you wanna speak to my daddy?
Tony: [sighs] Yes, please.
Yoko: Who should I say is calling?
Tony: Tell him... it's his father.
Yoko: You're my grampa?
Tony: Yes, sweetheart. I am.
[Looks at a photo of Yoko]

Sasha: Boss, I found us a plane.
Yuri: Can you still fly that thing?
Sasha: Sure, boss. But I need co-pilot.
Lilly: Gordon's a pilot.
Gordon: No, I'm not. I'm not.
Jackson: Yes, he is. Great pilot. Let's go.
Yuri: Good. Let's go!
[both groups set out for the plane]
Gordon: [just before going outdoors] Jackson, stop saying I'm a pilot.

Kate: [on the "ark"] Where have you been all my life?
Jackson: Gift shop.

Jackson: Going to this place really special place that I know. Actually, it's a place where your Mom and I used to hang out a lot.
Noah: I don't wanna know where you and Mom had sex. I'm not ready for that, Jackson.
Jackson: Stop calling me that. It's creeping me out. What's wrong with "Dad"?

Adrian: [standing in the Oval Office] I was wrong.
President: Do you know how many times I've heard those words in this office? Zero.

Harry: I barely see my boy, but at least we talk.
Tony: About what?
Harry: Life, and how short it is.

Kate: Does anybody got any money? We could bribe them.
Gordon: I do, I do.
Jackson: You got a billion euros?

[from trailer]
Jackson: No matter what happens, we'll all stay together.

Professor: The Mayans saw this coming thousands of years ago.
Adrian: I thought we had more time.

President: [Addressing the nation] My fellow Americans. This will be the last time I address you. As you know, catastrophe has struck our nation... has struck the world. I wish I could tell you we can prevent the coming destruction. We cannot. Today, none of us are strangers. Today, we are one family, stepping into the darkness together. We are a nation of many religion, but I believe these words reflect the spirit of all our faiths. The Lord is my shepherd...
[cuts off]

Adrian: Satnam didn't get picked up.
Professor: What?
Carl: A lot of people didn't get picked up in this chaos. This is not a conspiracy, Helmsley. You're predictions haven't exactly panned out, have they, doctor?

Noah: Whoa, that's a big plane.
Yuri: It's Russian.

Jackson: [as Kate's house is collapsing in an earthquake] Get in the fucking car!

Captain: [over intercom] Ladies and gentleman, this is Captain Michaels speaking. In a few minutes I will give orders to unseal the decks. At 2345 last night, our sister arks, Numbers 6 and 7, have joined our course. For the first time on our journey, we'll have clear skies and moderate-to-good air quality. As you know, our passenger count is way over capacity. So please be careful when you step out and of course, enjoy the fresh air.

Charlie: This marks the last day of the United States of America. And, by tomorrow, all of mankind. And we will be visible from the Milky Way as a tiny little puff of smoke. I'm watching the earth crumble before my eyes. The giant ash cloud created by this super-volcano will first envelop Vegas and then St. Louis and then Chicago and then, at long last, Washington, D.C. will have its lights go out!

Charlie: Hey. Hey, guess what? They're selling seats.
Jackson: Put me down for three.
Charlie: No, guys like you and me don't have a chance. You'd have to be Bill Gates or Rupert Murdoch or some Russian billionaire or something.
Jackson: Hey, keep it down. My kids are sleeping.
Charlie: Get them out of Yellowstone. It's gonna get ugly up here.

Lilly: I'm not scared. No more Pull-Ups.
Jackson: Nice.

Gordon: Honey, why don't we make a baby?
Kate: We're not making a baby in the supermarket!

[Yellowstone's caldera erupts. The giant ash cloud and fire is rushing behind them]
Lilly: Daddy, it's following us.
Jackson: Don't look at it! Get down on the ground. Get on the ground and hold on. Don't look back. Don't look back. Look at me. Do I look scared?
Lilly: Uh-huh.

Laura: [On phone] Dad, where are you?
President: You wouldn't have gotten on that plane if I told you.
Laura: Daddy, what's happening? I thought you were coming on the plane.
President: Do you know what strength it gives me to know that my daughter is going to survive?

Kate: [as they escape Los Angeles in the plane] I don't understand. How did you know this was to happen?
Jackson: It's not just California. It's the whole goddamned world that gone to shit. I met this guy at Yellowstone, this crazy guy, but he's been right about that's happened so far. And he says that the government is building these ships, spaceships, I don't know what, but something.
Gordon: What, ships?
Jackson: Yeah, places where we can be safe. He knows where they are. He's got a map.
Kate: Jackson...
Jackson: Kate, you gotta just trust me on this, okay?
Gordon: Guys... look.
[L.A. is sinking into the Pacific as they fly away]

Adrian: The president has ordered us to clean out the White House.
Harry: About time somebody cleaned up that mess.

President: Did you ever meet my wife, Dorothy?
Adrian: No, sir. I didn't have that honor.
President: She was in and out of it towards the end. The night before she passed on, she took my hand and she told me: "I think you should have a lottery. Everyone should have a chance to go." Maybe that's what we should have done. I'll be the last president of the United States of America. Do you know how that feels, son?
Adrian: No one could have saved the country, sir. And I think... I think people have a right to know.
President: Don't worry. I'll take care of that.

Laura: How were all these people chosen?
Carl: The same way your art was: By experts from all over the world. We had geneticists determine the perfect gene pool we need to repopulate.
Adrian: These people were chosen by geneticists?
Laura: Looks to me like their checkbooks got them onboard.
Carl: That's right, Dr. Wilson. Without billions of dollars from the private sector, this entire operation would've been impossible.
Adrian: We sold tickets. And what about all these workers? They all get passes?
Carl: What, life isn't fair? Is that it? You want to donate your passes to a couple Chinese workers, you be my guest.

Carl: Kind of galling when you realize that nutbags with cardboard signs had it right the whole time.

Adrian: Sir, you don't have the authority.
Carl: Who's got the authority? You? You've got the authority? You couldn't keep your goddamn mouth shut. You betrayed top-secret information last year. Could've had us all killed?
Adrian: What the hell are you talking about?
Carl: You told your father everything. Put this entire plan in jeopardy. Good thing for you the old man could keep his mouth shut better than you. Oh, come on. Don't look so shocked. We had to monitor everybody who knew. How do you think we kept it a secret for so long?
Adrian: So we just killed people who tried to talk?
Carl: Anybody who tried to talk was not just an enemy of the state, they're an enemy of humanity.
Adrian: The Director of the Louvre was an enemy of humanity?
Carl: After he called a press conference, he was! Jesus. What did you think? We're all just gonna get onboard, hold hands and sing "Kumbaya"? Sit down and buckle up.