The Best Argonaut Quotes

Argonaut: Are you kin to Alfie Hominy Haggen?
Festus: [trying to show how close they were] Kin? Why were second cousins on my Aunt Floter's side. Me and Alfie's always been as close...
Argonaut: If I ever set eyes on him again I'm going to put a bullet square through his sidewinding head.
Festus: Wait a minute, I ain't done yet. What I'd fixen to say is me and Alfie ain't never been close. Why they's something about him I'd just never could stand.
Argonaut: [asking Doc] Are you a Haggen?
Doc: Don't get insulting with me