The Best Commander Tony Drake Quotes

Sterling: [fires grenade launcher] Whoo!
Lana: Archer?
Sterling: Hold on.
[grenade goes off]
Sterling: Yes, Archer, duh. And if you're done doing each other's hair, let's...
Commander: ...retake the ship!
[runs off]
Sterling: Or just run around interrupting people.

Commander: Okay. Archer.
Sterling: Oh, I'm sorry, are you talking to me? Or to her, who... Why is she here?
Malory: Because Tony invited me.
Sterling: Tony? What, are you trying to get my mother into the Million-Mile High Club?

Sterling: Astronaut training sucks complete ass. Literally! What's the deal with all the enemas?
Doctor: Uhh.
Sterling: And why do you need so much blood? And wait, now that I think about it...
Commander: Why is this man in the restricted area?
Doctor: Who, him?
Commander: You.
Sterling: What? Krieger!
Doctor: Uhh, smoke bomb!
Commander: And why aren't you with the other trainees?
Sterling: I was told I had to undergo a bunch of extremely invasive medical tests.
Commander: Well, normally you would but by our doctors. But since you're on such an accelerated training schedule...
Sterling: Six enemas is a luxury we can ill-afford. Got it.
Malory: Six?
Sterling: Or, who knows. He put me under. Maybe twelve.

Commander: Is mutiny funny to you, Mr. Archer?
Sterling: I don't know. Maybe a mutiny of clowns.

Commander: No! We can't jeopardize the women.
Lana: Cough?
Malory: Well, not you.

Commander: I want to brief you all on what to expect when we dock with Horizon.
Lana: Uh, can we expect a pharmacy?
Sterling: Lana, it's not a strip mall. Although, I assume there's a bar.
Commander: A bar?
Sterling: Or whatever, cantina?

Sterling: Would you say we'd be venturing into a zone of danger?
Commander: Well, yes. Obviously.
Sterling: No, but I mean how would you phrase that?
Commander: The zone will be one of danger?
Sterling: No, I mean. Not if you'd say the thing that. Forget it. Nevermind.

Commander: What the hell is going on here?
Sterling: Uh, an electrical fire in the simulator. And knowing that my colleague's life was in danger, I...
Commander: Acted without thinking.
Lana: As always.
Sterling: Not always...
Commander: Well, thank God you did.
Sterling: ...But almost always!

[last lines]
Commander: Welcome to the... danger zone.

Commander: [wounded] The bridge... We have to make it... to the...
Sterling: The bridge, yes, I heard you. So unless we're going the wrong way...
Commander: Uh, no. That's it right there.
Sterling: Then shut up! God.