30 Best Eddie Jones Quotes

Salchak: I know you've been waiting for years for me to either drop dead or retire...
Frank: No, I haven't been waiting for you to retire.

Clark: [Arrives home and sees his parents] Boy, I must be in trouble if the cavalry is here.
Martha: Hi Sweetie. Are you okay?
Clark: Fine.
Jonathan: We never watch those tabloids shows... but The Smallville Press has turned its whole front page over to Superman's love child.
Clark: I do not have a love child.
Martha: Of course you don't.
Jonathan: It's an impossibility.
Martha: It's laughable really.
Clark: Laughable? You guys, come on. I have dated.
Jonathan: No, no what we mean is we raised you to be responsible. If anything like this did occur we know you'd live up to your obligations.
Martha: And if you say this woman is not the mother of your child she's not the mother of your child. It's just laughable.
Jonathan: How's Lois?
Clark: Not laughing.
Martha: Oh well of course she'd be bewildered by all of this you just have to expect that.
Clark: Well you know Lois, she wants an explanation for everything and the only explanation that I can give her on this whole thing is that I don't know.

Jonathan: And who are you?
H.G. Wells: H. G. Wells.
Jonathan: The writer? Aren't you dead?
H.G. Wells: Well, only some of the time.

[Clark talks on the phone with his parents there]
Clark: No, believe me. I... I understand. Absolutely. If the hijackers won't listen, you're gonna have to take 'em out. No, okay, let me tell you about it. In fact... No, let me tell you about one time when I was in that exact same situation. You know, uh... no. Go. Go. But be careful. Hey, love you.
[Clark hangs up the phone]
Clark: Lois says she's sorry she missed dinner, but there's a 747 with a bomb on it.
Jonathan: Oh. Well, maybe she'll be back in time for... uh, pie.
Clark: No, I told her just... go on home, get some rest. Hey, you guys want to play Monopoly?
[Martha stops Clark from getting up]
Martha: Are you okay, Sweetie?
Clark: I'm fine.
Martha: What on earth makes you think you can fool me?
Clark: No, Mom. I am... I'm fine. I just... I mean, it's not like I'm sick or dying or anything. I just... I guess I just... I don't know what I am.
Jonathan: Martha, remember when I had the back surgery and was laid up for six months? And we almost lost the farm? Your mother went to work as a secretary and ended up as office manager with a secretary of her own.
Martha: Oh, Jonathan. Stop. It was two secretaries.
Jonathan: Anyway, your mother saved the day. And it was hard for me to just lie there and watch her do everything. I, uh... I guess I was afraid I was losing her.
Martha: As if some silly job could ever replace you - either of you.
Clark: Maybe, I'll take a walk. Maybe... over toward Lois'. Maybe, I'll... wait for her to get home. Thanks for dinner, Mom.
Jonathan: Did we raise a smart boy or what?
Martha: Oh, you were great.

Superman: Is this the good window?
Martha: Yes, but it's-
Mayson: You're incapacitated!
Jonathan: Wait!
[Superman crashes through the closed window]
Jonathan: [Mayson, Martha, and Jonathan rush over and look through the now broken window]
Jonathan: Looks like he misjudged the distance to the ground.
Mayson: Is he ok?
Martha: Yes, dear, I imagine so.

Clark: Did he say anything about Lois?
Jonathan: Just that she's taking it really hard.
Clark: I guess that should make me feel better.

Jonathan: You can't go through all your life with powers, and then puff, they just disappear.
Clark: Well, it's happened Dad.

Jonathan: [after learning that Lois and Clark are at the honeymoon suite] Well, uh...Clark is there anything you'd like to tell us?
Clark: Not really, things are going pretty smoothly, assuming Lois keeps her end of the bargain and lets me have my turn in the bedroom tonight.

[in 1866]
Marshall: [to Lois and Clark] Gone, which is exactly where we'd like you and the naked lady.
Lois: Naked? I'm not naked. These are just new fashions from... France.

[trying to pick the lock to Clark's apartment]
Jonathan: Why couldn't we leave our suitcases in a locker at the airport?
Martha: A child of 4 could pick those locks.
Jonathan: Maybe we should have that child with us now.

Clark: It's not me who kept you from the throne. It's the law of your own people.
Lord: On the contrary, the law of my people will place me on the throne! You are under arrest.
Clark: Under arrest? For what?
Martha: He hasn't done anything.
Jonathan: You're the one who's breaking the law.
Lois: You hired an assassin to kill him. Is that legal?
Lord: Excuse me, do any of you hold Kryptonian law degrees?
Lois: No.
Lord: Then shut up!

Clark: It was one of those things that sounded good at the time, but once I got in the elevator, I didn't know what it meant.
Martha: Freud would say, " It's a subconscious desire in search of a context." And Jung would dismiss it as an anger induced synaptic anomaly.
Jonathan: Adult education. It's a beautiful thing.

Jonathan: [about the Superman clone] Clark, I think there's one other thing we ought to consider. Why is he here? What does he want?
Martha: I saw this TV show once. There was a parallel universe...
Clark: Please, Mom. Don't get all sci-fi on me.

[talking about Lois]
Jonathan: Do you love her, son?
Clark: Yeah, I do.
Jonathan: Well, then tell her.

Superman: Lois?
Lois: Over here.
Superman: Do you have any oolong tea?
Lois: Oolong?
Superman: Oolong.
Lois: No. Do you want some?
Superman: If it wouldn't be too much trouble.
Martha: Oolong sounds wonderful.
Jonathan: Come on, Lois. Let's go get these tea drinkers some oolong.

Martha: We are on your side in the big picture. We want you to be happy and Lois makes you happy. Unless you make her unhappy. Then she makes you unhappy. And that makes us unhappy.
Jonathan: Son, love and marriage are a partnership. Both people are equal in the partnership. Bottom line, they make their decisions together.
Clark: So you're saying I should go crawling back on my hands and knees?
Martha: No, honey. Fly back. It's faster.

Lois: Clark!
Martha: Clark don't go. Honey a lot more lives are at stake than ours.
Jonathan: Clark, get out of here.
Kal: I can't do that dad. They'd kill you.
Lois: [Sees Clark disappearing and she starts to cry] No... no.

[Clark's parents arrive at his apartment thinking Lois and Clark are gone on their honeymoon]
Martha: Clark, what are you doing here?
Superman: Here? Oh you mean here, here, now. Uh, well there was a tidal wave in the Philippines that needed looking into so...
Jonathan: Oh, you and Lois had a fight. Don't let it get you down son. Emotions run high on a honeymoon both good and bad, sparks are gonna fly.
Superman: I wish.
Martha: Honey you know you can talk to us about anything, right? What's on your mind?
Superman: Christmas tree lights.
Martha: Sorry?
Superman: You know how when the holidays come up and you're all excited about making your house just explode with warmth and love so you go out and you buy a new box of lights and you hang them on the tree and you're just waiting for that burst of warmth and love then you plug them in and... nothing happens.
Jonathan: Nothing happens?
Superman: Nothing.
Jonathan: No sparks? No flickering? No electricity at all?
Superman: The power is out.
Martha: The two of you have more electricity than anyone I've ever seen and I think we've pretty much beaten this metaphor to death.
Superman: I'm telling you mom it's like Lois is another person.
Martha: So you're saying you're living with an imposter?
Superman: Y...
[Realization hits him suddenly]

Jonathan: Ho-ho's, twinkies, ding-dongs, snickers. You feeling hungry?
Martha: Johnathan you know I never eat this stuff.
Jonathan: Well then why are we stocking up?
Martha: They're his favorites and I know when he comes home he's going to want them. And since he doesn't have any problems with cavities and cholesterol then why not?
Jonathan: That's spoken like a true mom. Martha, we've talked about this. There's still a small chance Clark might not get back home.
Martha: I know we've talked about it and you know what I said then? My boy is coming home.
Jonathan: Martha...
Martha: Johnathan, my boy is coming home.

Frank: I was just following the rules.
Salchak: Sometimes you have to ignore the rules, ignore the numbers, and concentrate on the people.
Frank: The people, yeah, I know.
Salchak: The people. Compassion, Frank. That's the foundation of this country.
Frank: I know.
Salchak: You could learn something from Navorski.

[Lois opens a package and finds a bassinet and then Clark walks in]
Lois: Honey. Is this your way of telling me we can have a baby?
[Cuts to commercial]
Lois: Yours? This was your bassinet?
Clark: Yeah but I didn't have it sent here. I haven't even spoken to Dr. Klein yet. Maybe my mom and dad...
Lois: When? They've been in Metropolis for a week.
Clark: [Doorbell rings] Well that's them, you can ask them yourself.
Martha: Hi. Sorry we forgot the key.
Jonathan: We haven't kept you from dinner have we?
Clark: No, no, no we've had other things to keep us busy.
[points to the bassinet]
Martha: Oh, it got here!
Lois: So you did send it?
Martha: Well with all this talk of babies in the air we called home and had our hired hand send it as a surprise.
Jonathan: If we were being a little...
Martha: ...presumptuous, but the idea of having a grandchild just is so...
Jonathan: ...exciting, we wanted to help you get...
Martha: ...started and show you some...
Jonathan: ...shortcuts and pitch in like...
Martha: ...family if that's...
Clark: ...okay?
Martha: Yes
Lois: Of course it is, I can't think of two better parental experts than the people who raised my husband.
Martha: Oh, we did do a pretty good job, huh?
Lois: That's why I'm so anxious to hear from Dr. Klein. The world needs another Clark Kent.

Lois: [Crying] It's over. Everything's over. I shouldn't of let him go.
Jonathan: Lois, you two will find a way. Dearest Lois, a love that risks nothing is worth nothing.

Clark: Dad, what happened to this shirt?
Jonathan: What do you mean?
Clark: It was white.
Jonathan: I just washed it. It should be clean.
Clark: Well, it's clean, Dad. Only now it's pink. You didn't wash this with my cape, did you?
Jonathan: Can't you fix it with your heat vision or something?
Clark: Dad, there's no superpower on Earth that can get this out!

Martha: So if you do go to this New Krypton you wouldn't have any of your powers, is that right?
Clark: I'd be like anyone else.
Lois: Able to die like anyone else.
Clark: So, help me out here. What do you guys think I should do?
Martha: Oh Clark, do you know how much I want to say you should just tell these people to get lost, that this isn't your problem?
Jonathan: And I guess a lot of folks would say that's the smart thing to do.
Martha: When your father and I were young we marched for civil rights.
Jonathan: We were hit with fire hoses, chased by dogs. Oh it was something.
Martha: And people said to us, why would you go there? This isn't your fight. And I didn't even know what to say. Because it was something we believed in.
Jonathan: We've never been asked to send a son off to war. But if we were and my son asked me, 'should I go?' I'd say to him, 'is this your fight?'
Martha: Is this something you believe in?

Clark: I know Lois is under a lot of pressure right now and she needs my support. But in order for me to give it to her I have to ignore my own gut instincts. I don't know if I can do that, I don't know that I should.
Jonathan: Well I don't think I can help you out there son. But part of what you are going through is just being married, learning how to deal with each others shifting lives.
Clark: The problem is right now it feels like they are shifting apart.

Clark: [about Lois] I don't know whether she is more upset about the asteroid hitting Earth, or the fact that Superman is missing.
Jonathan: Superman isn't missing.
Clark: Sure he is. No one can find him.

Dr. Sam Lane: Johnathan I want to thank you for being so good to my little girl. It's been tough for her to trust people and I feel somewhat to blame for that. I was thrilled when she found Clark.
Jonathan: He's a special son.

Martha: We got on the plane as soon as we got your call. What's happened to my boy?
Lois: I wish I knew exactly Martha.
Jonathan: Lois, are you sure he's gone?
Lois: Clark vanished through a time window. It was, uh, brought here by the most evil man I have ever met. He comes from the future and he's always wanted two things. To control the world and to destroy Superman.

Martha: Thanks for the wonderful dinner and the beautiful presents.
Lois: That thing we were talking about before, about being ready, I think I know.
[Lois and Martha share a knowing look]
Martha: Johnathan, we have to go now.
Jonathan: Bye.
Clark: Bye.
[Turns to Lois]
Clark: What was this all about?
Lois: Oh just girl talk. I'll tell you about it upstairs.
Clark: Why upstairs?
Lois: [Gives him a look and grabs him by the tie] Guess...

Clark: I've decided that the only way to clear all this up is to tell the whole world the truth.
Lois: The truth about what?
Clark: That Superman can not be having an affair with Clark Kent's wife because Clark Kent is Superman.
Lois: Clark you can't do this.
Lois: Lois the only way to regain the world's trust is to tell them that I am Superman. I don't have a choice.
Jonathan: Do you realize what this will do to you son? To everybody?
Clark: I know it'll be hard Dad.
Martha: I don't think you realize how hard it will be. Never mind about your father and me it's not going to affect us much but it's going to affect you plenty. Clark Kent won't even exist anymore, you won't have any kind of private life.
Jonathan: And neither will Lois. She won't be able to go anywhere as herself let alone continue as a reporter. She'll just become Superman's wife.
Clark: I know, I know. Don't you think I thought about all this? This isn't just some knee jerk reaction that I'm having. I'm trying to stop a war. I'm trying to protect what Superman is, what he stands for.
Lois: If that's the case then you are making a mistake. What makes you think that the world is gonna start trusting Superman again when they find out that he's been lying to them all along about who he really is? Clark there's a greater truth to protect here and that's the idea of who Superman is. If you tell them that you're married, that you have feelings and desires like everybody else then that image of a hero is shattered, it's gone. People need to believe in that mythic truth, that is what Superman is all about and that is what you should protect above all else.
Clark: And I will protect it Lois. Because even in this cynical world somebody has to stand for integrity. And if that's what I say I stand for then I have to mean it.