The Best Viktor Navorski Quotes

Viktor: What I do?
Thurman: There's only one thing you can do here, Mr. Navorski. Shop.

Viktor: Amelia, would you like an eat to bite?

Viktor: Please. Please. Don't be hurt.
Amelia: How can I not be? He's married.
Viktor: One man. Two womens. Crowded.
Amelia: You want to know what the worst part is? I never even asked him to leave his wife. I was encouraging him to get counseling. I mean, what kind of sick person am I? I'm rooting for the home team. I just wish the sex wasn't so amazing.

Viktor: Officer Torres, my friend say you are stallion.
Officer: Mr. Navorski! Mr. Navorski...
Viktor: Stallion.
Officer: [surprised] A what?
Viktor: A stallion. Like a horse.
Officer: [embarrassed] Stand behind the yellow line!
Viktor: It's horse! Beautiful horse!
Officer: Who said that?
Viktor: My food! My friend drive the food.

Frank: I'm talking about bombs. I'm talking about human dignity. I'm talking about human rights. Viktor, please don't be afraid to tell me that you're afraid of Krakhozia.
Viktor: Is home. I am not afraid from my home.
[pause]
Viktor: So?
Frank: [whispering] All right.
Viktor: I go to New York City now?
Frank: No.
Viktor: No? Uh... Okay. I'm uh... I'm uh... I'm afraid from ghosts.
Frank: Okay, thanks very much!
Viktor: I'm afraid from, uh... Dracula!
Frank: Thanks a lot. Thanks, Viktor!
Viktor: [as he is escorted outside] Afraid from Wolfmens, afraid from sharks!
Frank: It's okay. Thank you Viktor! Thanks a lot!

Viktor: Keep the change!

Gupta: If I go home, I go to jail for 7 years.
Viktor: What if United States catch you? They deport you.
Gupta: As long as I keep my floor clean, keep my head down, they have no reason to deport me, they have no reason to notice a man like me.

Amelia: I have to go.
Viktor: I have to stay.
Amelia: Story of my life.
Viktor: Me too.

Officer: Let me ask you something, Mr. Navorski. Why do you wait here two hours every day when I've told you there's nothing I can do for you - that your new visa will not arrive until your country is recognized by the United States?
Viktor: You... you have two stamp. One red, one green.
Officer: So?
Viktor: So, I have chance go New York, 50-50.
Officer: [laughs] Yes, that's a beautiful way to look at it. But America doesn't work that way.

Viktor: So she go to these conventions dressed as... Yeoman Rand. Yeoman Rand.
Enrique: She's a Trekkie... She's a Trekkie!
Viktor: Favorite episode is "Doomsday Machine."

Frank: See. You don't qualify for asylum, refugee status, temporary protective status, humanitarian parole, or non-immigration work travel or diplomatic visas. You don't qualify for any of these things. You are at this time simply - unacceptable.
Viktor: Unacceptable.
Frank: Unacceptable.
Viktor: Unacceptable.

Viktor: Eat to bite... bite to eat, bite to eat, bite to eat, bitetoeat bitetoeat bitetoeatbitetoeatbitetoeatbitetoeat

Officer: Who's telling you to ask me these things?
Viktor: Well, it's a man of misery.
Officer: Misery? Mystery?
Viktor: No, no. Misery. Man of misery.

Viktor: Big Apple Tour include Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State, Broadway show: Cats.
Frank: Well, I got more bad news for you, Mr. Navorski. Cats has closed.

Thurman: Beyond those doors is American soil. Mr. Dixon wants me to make it very clear to you, that you are not to enter through those doors. You are not to leave this building. America is closed.
Viktor: America closed.

Amelia: Are you coming or going?
Viktor: I don't know. Both.

Cab: Where you from?
Viktor: Krakozhia. Viktor Navorski.
Cab: I'm Goran. Albania.
Viktor: Oh. When you come to New York?
Cab: Oof!
[implicating it was a long time ago]
Cab: Thursday.

Enrique: So, she had a boyfriend, for how long?
[nods yes, holds up two fingers]
Enrique: Two years, what happened?
Viktor: He chit.
Enrique: What?
Viktor: He chit.
Enrique: Eat shit?
Viktor: He chit, he chit, he chit.
Enrique: Okay, try to repeat exactly what she said.
Viktor: He chit, she catch him so...
Enrique: Oh! He cheats!
Viktor: Yes, yes, yes! What we call Krushkach. We say Krushkach. One man, two womans. So, hmm, crowded. You know? Ha!
Enrique: Okay, he *cheats*! You say cheats.
Viktor: Hm-hum. He chit.
Enrique: No, no. *Cheat*.
Viktor: Enrique, you, no chit.
Enrique: No cheat.
Viktor: No chit.
Enrique: Yeah, yeah, I won't. I won't. I won't cheat. Not chit.
Viktor: She's a nice... nice girl, she won't take your chitting.

[last lines]
Cab: Where you wanna go?
Viktor: I am going home.

Amelia: I just keep injesting these poisonous men until I make myself sick.
Viktor: You're not sick, Amelia, no. You're a little far-sighted.

Amelia: Do I know you from someplace?
Viktor: Sensible heels. Payless Shoes. Second floor.

Thurman: What exactly are you doing in the United States, Mr. Navorski?
Viktor: [reading from a notecard] Yellow taxicab, please. Take me to Ramada Inn, 161 Lexington.
Thurman: You're staying at the Ramada Inn?
Viktor: Keep the change.
Thurman: Do you know anyone in New York?
Viktor: Yes.
Thurman: Who?
Viktor: Yes.
Thurman: Who?
Viktor: Yes.
Thurman: No. Do you know anyone in New York.
Viktor: Yes, yes.
Thurman: Who?
Viktor: Yes. 161 Lexington.

Viktor: You say you are waiting for something. And I say to you, "Yes, yes. We all wait".
Amelia: What are you waiting for?
Viktor: You. I wait for you...

Frank: Okay. Look. Imagine that these potato chips are Krakozhia.
Viktor: Eh, Kra-ko-zhia.
Frank: Kra-ko-zhia.
Viktor: Yes. Krakozhia. Okay.
Frank: Eh, so the potato chips are Krakozhia. Okay. And this apple..
Viktor: Big Apple. Big Apple.
Frank: Big Apple represents the Liberty Rebels. Okay?
[smashes the bag with the apple spraying chips all over Viktor]
Frank: No more Krakozhia! Okay? New government. Revolution! You understand? So, all the flights in and out of your country have been suspended indefinitely. And the new government has sealed all borders, which means that your passport and visa are no longer valid. So, currently you are a citizen - of nowhere.