30 Best Chi McBride Quotes

Joe: Gupta, relax, would you? He isn't a spy.
Gupta: How do you know? He could be recording everything we say. A wire in his shirt. A microphone up in his ass.

Lou: Why am I here?
Gerard: There's been a terrible crime.
Lou: You mean the woman who got stabbed during the break-in here? You know, the Honolulu Police Department investigates such crimes.
Gerard: I'm not talking about the murder. This is a different crime.
Lou: Oh.
Gerard: Oh, and actually, she was stabbed thirteen times. There was blood all over the place. It was like "The Shining" in here. But thanks to Crime Clean, you could never tell, right?
Lou: It's about to be "The Shining" up in here again if you don't get to the point.

Gupta: I think he's CIA. The CIA put him here to spy on us.
Joe: You don't know what the Hell you're talking about. That guy doesn't even speak English.
Gupta: If he could learn to speak, this guy. He can't speak English, how could he have a meeting with a beautiful woman? A flight attendant.
Enrique: Oh, so, she's CIA, too?
Gupta: No. She look like a Russian. KGB.

Jessie: I don't understand.
Steve: What?
Jessie: There was a trailer here.
Lou: [skeptical] Oh, here we go.
Jessie: Right there. That's where Hideki was holed up. Where he was killed.
Lou: Mm-hmm.
Jessie: I'm a hundred percent positive there was a trailer there.
Steve: [spotting something] Hey, Lou? She's right. There was somethig here. Look at these tracks.
Lou: You're saying somebody stole our crime scene? That's a first.
Steve: Yeah. And if we want to get Adam out of custody... we gotta find it.

Dr. Gregory House: [to Vogler] There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you. Uh, listen, you said I had to cut one of my people if I didn't give that speech about your drug, and in fairness to your point of view, my speech really wasn't the one you had in mind, so I've cut Cameron. Now we're all squared away, right?
Edward: In the morning, I expect you in my office with your letter of resignation and plans for a public apology otherwise, I'll destroy you.
Dr. Gregory House: [House looks a bit shocked as Vogler walks away] So that's a "no" on us being squared away.

[Steve gets on a boat to go to the Russian submarine]
Danny: Steve's. He wanted me to name the restaurant Steve's. I'll do it now in his memory.
Lou: That's what we love about you Danny, always thinking positive.

Naomi: Like that bitch needs to be eating dessert anyway.
Bishop: Naomi... You know, if you ever want counseling in anger management or... alcoholism, I'd be more than glad to do it for you.
Naomi: You'd do that for me? Thank you, I appreciate that. But I think I'd rather you just wash the fucking dishes and and shut the fuck up! Fucking psychobabble-bullshit asshole!

Bishop: Nick, T-Dog. You guys are so one dimensional.
T: Well fuck you, Whitey.

Dr. Eric Foreman: [to Vogler about House] I respect him.
Edward: What exactly is it you respect? His attitude toward humanity? He thinks we're all idiots and liars. How 'bout his attitude toward you, plays with you like a cat with a ball of string...
Dr. Eric Foreman: What do you want?
Edward: I want to know if you want to keep your job.
Dr. Eric Foreman: If he chooses to let me go, I can live with that.
Edward: That's not an answer.
Dr. Eric Foreman: You offering to protect me?
Edward: Still not an answer.
Dr. Eric Foreman: I want my job.

Edward: Gregory House is a symbol of everything wrong with the healthcare industry. Waste, insubordination, doctors preening like they're kings and the hospital their own private fiefdom. Healthcare is a business. I'm gonna run it like one. I hereby move to revoke the tenure of Dr. Gregory House and terminate his employment at this hospital, effective immediately.
Female: Don't you think we should discuss this...
Edward: We just did.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: We need time.
Edward: The vote is on the table. All in favor?
[after a few moments of silence, one of the board members raises his hand and the rest of the board members follow suit except for Cuddy and Wilson. Cuddy stares at Vogler, who stares back at her, and she sighs and raises her hand]
Edward: Dr. Wilson?
Dr. James Wilson: Opposed?
Edward: The motion is defeated. Dr. Wilson, would you mind leaving the room, please?
Dr. James Wilson: Excuse me?
Edward: We're gonna take another vote.
Dr. James Wilson: Well, first of all, you can't void my vote by making me stand in the hallway. And second, you should check the by-laws. You need notice and at least one business day before you can reconsider any matter.
Edward: We're voting on a different matter which you are... conflicted out of.
Dr. James Wilson: How can I be conflicted?
Edward: This vote is whether to dismiss Dr. James Wilson.

Kamekona: My man Hirsch told me you might have come across some stolen art at a crime scene.
Lou: Oh, he did, did he?
Kamekona: [pushing Hirsch out of his seat] Move over.
[sitting down]
Kamekona: Yes, he did. So what are we gonna do about it?
Lou: We? Pardon me, but I was unaware that "we" would be discussing an ongoing investigation.
Kamekona: Why not?
Lou: Well... first starters, it's none of your damn business.

Bishop: Mitch, I want you to do a couple things for me. First, I want you to observe very closely your surroundings, today. Take everything in. Leave no stone unturned. Can you do that for me? Then, I want you to think about what your life would be like, if you had been born blind.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [When the board is voting to fire House, but Cuddy refuses to vote] I can't do it.
Edward: You can't abstain.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm not abstaining. I'm voting no.
Edward: You've changed your mind since yesterday? What did he do, buy you dinner and roses? Threaten to drown your dog?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He did his job.
Edward: Right. He saved another life.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Maybe.
Edward: Good for him. It's great. It's not the point.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's what we do.
Edward: And you could do it a lot better if you didn't have to worry about some madman running around the hospital accountable to no one!
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: But that's not the choice you're giving us.
Edward: House won't listen to anyone...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: And you're not accountable to anybody, either! Because you think you own us.

Gerard: Boom.
Lou: What dou mean "boom"?
Gerard: Boom.
Lou: Two paintings. So what?
Gerard: So, they're not just any paintings. These are old masters. Part of a collection that went missing during World War II.
Lou: And it looks like somebody found 'em. So what?
Gerard: When I say "went missing", it's a synonym for "stolen".
Lou: Why don't you just say "stolen"?

Lou: [to McGarrett during a high-speed chase] We have a wreck, my wife is gonna kick your ass.

Bishop: So, when things in your life become stagnant - you know, you're no longer happy with what you're doing - then you figure out what's important to you. Then create your own penis-showing game.

[talking about the hospital]
Edward: Well, this is not a team. It's not a boat. It's not a machine that has a lot of parts that have to work together. The metaphors are all crap. This is a business - that's all it is.

Frank: Why doesn't he try to escape?
Joe: Sir, you told him to wait.
Frank: I didn't think he'd actually do it. I mean, he's in a crack. Who the hell waits in a crack?

Dr. Gregory House: Need the lawyer.
Edward: Who'd you kill?
Dr. Gregory House: Nobody. But it's not even lunch. Got served with a federal court order. Some witness went into a coma and they want me to take a look at him.
Edward: What? They want you to examine a sick person? This is a public relations nightmare. Folk think our staff do that kind of thing around here, this place'll be crawling with sick people.

Edward: A man is the sum of his actions. Here are a few of Dr. House's. He violated a DNR and was charged with assault. He brought a termite into the OR and spat on a surgeon. He accepted a Corvette from a patient who was a known member of the New Jersey mafia.
Dr. Ron Simpson: Ed, look...
Edward: Edward.
Dr. Ron Simpson: Edward. You look at anyone's career, you can find things that are...
Edward: These are the last three months. He's personally had more complaints filed against him than any department in this hospital.
Dr. James Wilson: Okay, he's screwed up. He's miserable and he should probably reread the Ethics Code, but it works for him. He's saved hundreds of lives.
Edward: He is a drug addict who flaunts his addiction and refuses to get treatment. He is a disgrace and an embarrassment to this hospital. I'd go on, but it gets kinda mean, so I'm gonna keep this simple.

Bishop: Psychosomatic auditory hallucinations. Most people have to pay for such a thing.

Joe: You better be careful. You know those flight attendants ain't like regular women, Viktor. They're flying back and forth between all those time-zones kinda messes with their biological clock or something. Always ready for sex. Why do you think they can't stop smiling?

Edward: [to Cuddy] What's the status on House?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He asked for time to complete performance reviews on everyone in his department.
Edward: And you told him no and gave him how long?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: A week. He'll do it.
[Cameron starts to walk up to Cuddy and Vogler]
Edward: Guy's never done what he's told. Don't see why he's going to start now.
[walks over to talk to Cameron]
Edward: Hi! Edward Vogler. Is Dr. House claiming that I'm forcing him to get rid of one of you? I assume his goal is to stir up antagonism toward me.
Dr. Allison Cameron: And your goal is?
Edward: I am forcing him. I'll do whatever I can to ease the transition for whoever he chooses.
Dr. Allison Cameron: If you're feeling guilty about your decision, there is an easy solution.
Edward: I don't feel guilty.
Dr. Allison Cameron: Then why approach me and tell me all this?
Edward: I don't feel guilty, that doesn't mean I don't feel bad. I'm rich, but I'm still human.

Lou: Afternoon, Mr. Kahele.
Gary: Can I help you?
Junior: Yeah, you can start by putting your hands behind your back.
Gary: What the hell is this about?
Lou: This is about your ordering the murder of 18 innocent people.
Gary: Says who?
Lou: Says the guy who pulled the trigger. You're coming with us. Shut your mouth.

Lou: [learning Duke stole evidence from the lockup] Anybody reach out to Duke's family?
Junior: Well, Tani's doing that right now.
Danny: All right. That's good. Maybe they know something.
Lou: Yeah, well, let's hope so, 'cause this is nuts. Duke is as straight as they come. This is a guy that would rather read a mosquito its rights instead of swatting it. It just ain't him.
Junior: So why'd he do it?
Lou: Well, hell, June, I don't know. We just got to follow every option, no matter how crazy it sounds.

Tani: [in a victim's house, finding a secret door] Uncle, you might want to come see this.
Lou: [wandering in] Oh, you're talking to me? I know you ain't just call me "uncle".
Tani: Locals use it as a sign of respect. How long have you lived on this island?
Lou: Long enough to know when somebody's using it to call you "old".
Tani: Well, you are old. But I was being respectful.
Lou: Youth is truly wasted on the young.

Joe: You better be careful. You know, those flight attendants ain't like regular women, Viktor. You know, they're flying back and forth between all those time zones, it kinda messes with their biological clock or something. They're always ready for sex. Why do you think they can't stop smiling?

Tani: I always knew Duke meant a lot to you guys, but after what he did, for McGarrett to stick by him...
Lou: That's McGarrett. That's just who he is. He's a guy that'll never turn his back on family, no matter what.

Dr. Gregory House: [after Vogler prevents House's patient from undergoing surgery] Hey! You're killing her!
Edward: Really? See, I thought you were the one trying to ram her into a drug trial 5 minutes after surgery...
Dr. Gregory House: She knows the risks, she was fully informed...
Edward: Well, the guy running the study sure wasn't.
Dr. Gregory House: Not his life, not his call!
Edward: His study, his call!
[At this point, Cuddy comes out of the clinic]
Dr. Gregory House: Right, so she kicks off, his number look bad.
Edward: The numbers look bad, the study looks bad!
Dr. Gregory House: Which would cost you money!
Edward: And keep a life-saving protocol off the market!
Dr. Gregory House: One person, one blip in the data!
Edward: You ever heard of the FDA? They eat blips for breakfast! One person should never endanger thousands!
Dr. Gregory House: Well, thank God you were here to save all those lives!
[Vogler pauses, breathes, laughs and shakes his finger at House]
Edward: The board's meeting again this evening. Why don't you settle down? Play some Game Boy. Why don't you watch your soap? I hear they're firing the handsome doctor today, boy, that should be a good one.
[walks off; House glares at Cuddy before he leaves]

Lou: Well, the FBI's here. They've taken jurisdiction over the crime scene. They got a team in the house right now, scrubbing it.
Danny: Sounds like Lee and Nancy were a real-life Boris and Natasha.
Tani: I don't get the reference.
Lou: "Rocky and Bullwinkle".
Junior: Like, "Rocky", like Stallone "Rocky"?