The Best Ego Quotes

The: [closing narration] And from one family reunion to another...
Peter: [as he is seen working as a janitor at Dairy Queen listening to his music when someone comes in] Uh, sorry. We're closed.
Ego: What, Peter? Can't spare a little time for dear old Dad?
The: Too bad this might spell the end of the world. But that's a story for another day.

Peter: You said you loved my mother.
Ego: And that I did. My river lily who knew all the words to every song that came over the radio. I returned to Earth to see her three times. And I knew if I returned a fourth, well, I'd... I'd never leave. The Expansion... the reason for my very existence would be over. So, I did what I had to do. But... it broke my heart to put that tumor in her head.
Peter: What?
Ego: Now, now, all right, I know that sounds bad...
[Peter continuously shoots Ego with his Quad Blasters]
Ego: [reforming] Who... in the *hell*... do you think you are?
Peter: *You killed my mother*!
Ego: I tried *so hard* to find the form...
The: [changes form to David Hasselhoff] ... that best *suited you*... and this is the thanks I get?
Ego: [changes back] You really need to *grow up*.
[Ego pierces Quill with a beam of energy]
Ego: I wanted to do this together... but I suppose you'll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a *battery*!

Peter: Well, you may not be mortal, but me...
Ego: No, Peter... death will remain a stranger to both of us, as long as the light burns within the planet.
Peter: I'm immortal?
Ego: Mmm-hmm.
Peter: Really?
Ego: Yes! As long as the light exists.
Peter: And, I could use the light to build cool things like, how you made this whole planet?
Ego: Well, it might take you a few million years of practice before you get really good at it. But, yes!
Peter: What! This is... Well, get ready for a 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather Locklear...
Ego: You can do anything you want.
Peter: I'm gonna make some weird shit.

Ego: Listen to me! You are a god. If you kill me, you'll be just like everybody else!
Peter: What's so wrong with that?
Ego: *No*!

Ego: I created what I imagined biological life to be like... down to the most minute detail.
Drax: Did you make a penis?
Peter: Dude!
Gamora: What is wrong with you?
Drax: If he's a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her!
Peter: I don't need to hear how my parents...
Drax: Why? My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice.
Peter: That's disgusting.
Drax: It was beautiful. You earthers have hang-ups.
Ego: Yes, Drax, I got a penis.
Drax: Ha! Thank you!
Ego: It's not half bad.