100 Best Harmon Rabb, Jr. Quotes

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I'm not a chauvinist.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: No, you're not.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, thank you...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You're arrogant, which can be misinterpreted as chauvinism.

Mattie: Harm, sometimes you forget that I'm not a part of your Army.
Harmon: Never say "Army" to a Navy man. It provokes a bad result.

Midshipman Mike 'Mikey' Roberts: Have you ever been in love?
Harm: If you're looking for relationship advice, Mikey, you should talk to your brother.
Midshipman Mike 'Mikey' Roberts: I tried that sir, but Bud doesn't want to talk to me about it.
Harm: Why not?
Midshipman Mike 'Mikey' Roberts: Uh, it- it concerns General Cresswell's daughter.
Harm: Have you lost your mind?

Lt: He said you were actually fair.
Commander: Well you're going to marry him, so it's only natural for us to get along.
Lt: Sir, about that M.R.I...

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: How'd you know where I was?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Where else would you be on a carrier during ops?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: In the front seat of an F-14.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Not this trip.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I can dream.

Mac: You, uh, talked to Maddie?
Harm: Yeah. That was the first call I made.
Mac: She told you to go?
Harm: Yes.
Mac: What'd you say?
Harm: I told her I wasn't going anywhere without her. We're still waiting for the ruling in Juvinelle court, however her father isn't contesting so...
Mac: You're a good dad.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: What do you want me to say? My father died doing his duty. You lived, running from yours.
Kevin: If that's the way you feel, how can I trust that you won't let them hang me?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Because, like my father, I do my duty.

Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: What happened that night at Benzinger's bar?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I met with Lieutenant Singer. We argued. She left, I followed her outside, we argued some more in her car.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: And was that when you phoned your brother using your cell phone?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yeah, I wanted to be there when she told him it wasn't his baby. I wanted to look into her eyes.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: Because you didn't believe her.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I rarely believed anything Lieutenant Singer said.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: I read your interview with Gibbs. Why didn't you tell him your story?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I was protecting my brother.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: Fine, but when they told you that the murder happened in January and not six weeks ago, you knew your brother couldn't be involved, so why not cooperate then?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Because by then I looked guilty. And I decided to trust Navy justice instead of Navy cops.
[Coleman sighs]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Look, there are enough holes in this case to raise reasonable doubt.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: There's also enough evidence to tie you to the murders and a string of witnesses, your colleagues, will testify to angry words between you and Lieutenant Singer right up to the time of her death.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, it could be worse, I guess.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: How?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I could not have an alibi.
Lt. Cmdr. Faith Coleman: You have an alibi?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: No.

Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: You afraid of me bein' alone down here with Mac, Harm?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You know, Brumby, one of these days you and I are going to strip blouses.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Always assumed we would, mate. Question's only been when.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Commanders, will you accept a non-judicial punishment for your actions?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yes, Sir!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Good! Cause you would have gotten it anyway!
[heading out the door]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Follow me!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Aye aye, Sir!

Tim: You know what pilots use for birth control?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yeah, their personalities. What's the difference between a pilot and a jet engine?
Tim: Jet engine stops whining when it lands.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Bud, I don't know what it's like to lose a child. But I do know what it's like to lose the woman you love. Don't let one cost you the other.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Commander, Captain Baxter read your report as well. He said thank you for proving Russian subs are perfectly capable of sinking themselves on their own.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Thank you, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: The hard way as usual.

CAG: The inspector general is on his way to the ship for a surprise visit. He wants to question my pilots, see if they're battle-ready. That makes you eligible for the Lakehurst run, Commander.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yes, sir.
CAG: I prefer it would be you, Admiral, but you're no longer cleared to fly front seat.
Admiral: You have nothing to worry about, CAG.
CAG: Enjoy your holidays.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: CAG, about your aircraft...
CAG: No soft-focus moments, Commander. I will not allow you to undermine a perfectly valid level of resentment. You get her up, and bring her down.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yes, sir.
CAG: And if you do anything other than fly to your established destination... I will personally see to it that your wings are yanked.

[Harm and Mac have just escaped from a land mine]
Harm: How did you know that would work?
Mac: I saw it in a movie.
Harm: WHAT? You just trusted our lives to something you saw in a movie?

Lt. Bud Roberts,: Why would he ask for us, and not the Colonel?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Because he's one smart Dingo.

Admiral: Between us, we've logged more flight time than anyone in this airwing.
CAG: And if the commander hadn't dumped a $40 million aircraft into the Atlantic last year, I would be satisfied with that answer, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: A mishap review board cleared me of pilot error, Captain.
CAG: I read the report. Don't agree.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: The aircraft had taken a hard landing, CAG.
CAG: And she was in flying condition at the time she left the deck.
Admiral: Well, you weren't sitting in his seat at the time, CAG.
CAG: I was a week earlier, sir. The plane was my ride. I was waiting for her at Pax River at the time.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You're bordering on insubordination, Rabb.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I'm a civilian now, A.J. I'm not in your Navy.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Commander O'Neil?
Beth: Commander Rabb.
[they shake hands]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: How long have you...
Beth: What? Been working for the spooks? Pretty much since you got me cleared on the harassment charge. The navy just didn't feel like home to me after that. So, uh, what made you jump ship, Commander?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Uh, it's Harm.
Beth: Beth.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Guess I pushed my CO's patience a little too far this time.
Beth: You were asked to leave?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: No, I left voluntarily. I, uh, was asked not to return.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [Rabb is dreaming Rene and Mac are Kickboxing] Ladies to your corners!
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You go to YOUR corner, HORMONE!

Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: ...he was telling me about this ageing retread...
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Ageing retread?

Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts,: So, the dolphin did come back?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Apparently.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts,: What's going to be the charge?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sturgis hasn't decided yet.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Hasn't decided what?
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts,: Oh, sir. You've got to hear this. It's ridiculous.
[off Mac's look]
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts,: In a serious sort of way, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm representing Seaman Apprentice Charles Bander. He released two Navy dolphins from a marine mammal deployment center.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Why?
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts,: They think he did it on porpoise, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He felt he owed them a debt.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts,: You know, kind of a squid pro quo, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He was caught by one of the trainers in the dolphins' pen with a bucket of fish.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts,: Red herring, probably. You know, trying to avoid pursuit.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: One more fish joke, and I'll have you filleted.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: What happened to the dolphins?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, they, uh, came back on their own.
Lt. Cmdr. Bud Roberts,: What would you charge him with, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, there's, uh, Article 96: Releasing a prisoner without authorization.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You enjoying yourselves?
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: [entering] Room for one more?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, if you promise no fish jokes.
Lt. Gregory Vukovic: Oh, not even one, just for the halibut?

Lt. Loren Singer: May I say something, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Go ahead.
Lt. Loren Singer: I'm aggressive, and I'm an overachiever. I know that about myself, and I don't pretend otherwise. I realize I'm the brunt of snide comments and jokes among the office staff, but I can't change who I am. However, I'm not a thief nor a liar. Short of that, I'll use whatever means necessary to achieve my goal.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Which is?
Lt. Loren Singer: To be the first female Judge Advocate General. Sir.

Harm: [At the end of a meeting with Coates' father] Sorry to put you through that.
P.O. Jennifer Coates: Don't pity me, sir. Don't you dare

Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: [after Harm gets a phone call] Job offer?
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: C.I.A. They want to see me tommorrow at 0800.
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: What did you *do*, buddy?

[last lines]
Admiral: My time's past, Harm. It's your time now... thank you.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [Shakes hands then stands at attention] Sir.

Harm: You've delivered a baby?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Yeah it's a piece of cake. Delivered dozens of 'em back home in Aus. Sort of comes with living in the Outback.
Harm: Really? You ever deliver one in a hospital full of terrorists?
Major: I'll get the measuring stick out later boys!

Mac: What do you want?
Harm: I want a lot of things.
Mac: What do you want the most?
Harm: The thing I want most... is to never lose you.

Lt. Cmdr. Jordan 'Jordi' Parker: So you weren't losing it after all.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I guess I don't need therapy, huh?
Lt. Cmdr. Jordan 'Jordi' Parker: Oooh, that's too bad, 'cause I think you would have liked the therapy I had in mind.

Lt: Why don't you, uh, come with me and pick out w new car with Harriett and Bud?
Major: Uh - Isn't that something *Jordy* should be doing?
Lt: [scoffs] Mac, you pick out a car with your girlfriend, you might as well buy her a ring!

Private: I wasn't going to rape her, I was just goofing on her.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Private Clauson, you are currently the *luckiest* marine in the world. Do not make things worse for yourself by also being the STUPIDEST!

P.O. Jason Tiner: Sir, there's a dog in the hallway.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Yes, she's with me.
[loudly]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Come here, Damn it.
[Dog enters the room]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Sit, Damn it.
[dog sits down. Tiner leaves and closes the door]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You named the dog, Damn it?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: The name kind of found itself.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Damn it?
[Dog rises up and knocks over the folders on the desk]
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Oh, damn it.

Lt: [Harm is fantasizing that Mac is dressed in a slinky dress] It's going to rain this afternoon. Perfect weather for making love.
Commander: [holding an ice pack to his head] Well, you would know, sweet thing.
Lt: [comes around the side his desk dressed in her uniform] Harm? Harm? Are you ok?
Commander: I'm fine.
Lt: You called me sweet thing.
Commander: Well, why would I call you that.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You work with the guy, Mac, you wouldn't go topless in front of me would you?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [pause] Is that a request?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [pause] You know they wrote "Eternity" on this bridge... in lights... on New Year's Eve.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Is that how long we're going to wait?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Mac...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We're not in Washington. We're not even on the same continent!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Location doesn't change who we are.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Most men would disagree with you.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I know. I disagree with me sometimes too.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: But you still can't let go?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Not yet.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You're just this way with me, aren't you?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [nods] Yeah... Only with you.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [pause] I suppose I should be flattered.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You should, Sarah.

Cmdr. Ted Lindsey: [after listing off Rabb's indiscretions at JAG] ... and the Admiral thinks I'M not Captain material!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [mockingly] So THAT'S what this is about, huh, Commander? The 'Good Child' syndrome. You keep your nose clean, I don't, but I catch all the breaks.
Cmdr. Ted Lindsey: Oh, Commander, don't worry... your days of catching all the breaks are over.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You're here, Admiral, because you *need* me. I'm an excellent lawyer. Plus, the officer you chose to replace me is looking at seven years of hard labor.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: All of that is true. If you come back, we'll start fresh. Let me know what you decide.

Special: So what did you have to do? Beg the Admiral to let you back in? Or did he just pin another medal on your chest?
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: I'm out.
Special: [turns to Mac in disbelief, then faces Harm] Wow!

Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I just hope you're not working on one of Rivers' crazy schemes.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You know me Mac.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Why the hell didn't I know you'd been charged with hitting your wife?
GSGT: It was handled in-house, sir. It's not even in my service record book.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, it's a matter of public record now, Gunny.
GSGT: I'm sorry, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I don't want your apologies! I want your cooperation. Do you have any idea what Colonel MacKenzie's trying to do in there? She's trying to establish that you, not your wife, is the one prone to violence.
GSGT: Sir, it was a one-time thing... we were
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, what about the fight with Sergeant Gerard?
GSGT: I told you about that.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yeah, but you didn't tell me it happened three days after the initial incident. It suggests premeditation! It tells the members you're capable of holding a grudge and plotting revenge!
GSGT: So what does this mean, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: It means the death penalty just came into play.
[Akers reacts in shock]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: It's unlikely... but there's not a lot of sympathy out there for wife beaters.

[after Bud provides Harm with a vital clue to his case]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: There is a God, Bud. You know how I know?
Lt. Bud Roberts,: How, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: 'Cause he only took your leg. He didn't take your head.

Cmdr. Harmon Rabb,: Did you fall asleep in court?
Lt. Bud Roberts,: Yes, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb,: What, like a head-bobbing thing, right?
Lt. Bud Roberts,: Apparently, I was snoring, sir.

Catherine: Clear?
Harm: Oh, yeah. I think I get it. We can't tell the court why it needs to be declassified because the reason it's classified is classified.
Catherine: You've got it.

Lt. Loren Singer: [Talking about Lt Roberts] I bust my butt and he baby-sits his kid.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Nothing wrong with being a family-man, Lieutenant.
Lt. Loren Singer: Or playing your family for all they're worth, sir.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Bud doesn't play his family, Lieutenant.
Lt. Loren Singer: [sighs in exasperation] Maybe I should get a dog.
[walks away]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [Mac and Rabb pause a second, then simultaneously] Pit-Bull!
[They share a look of amusement and both chuckle]

Commander: [Rene breaks up with Rabb] It's not your fault.
Rene: I know. I'm a catch!

Sarah: Did you think you'd sneak away without saying "goodbye?"
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Why "goodbye" not "good luck?"
Sarah: Didn't I say that to you when I was *stupid* enough to leave JAG?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yes, you did.
Sarah: You said you were happy for me.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I was. But that was different, you were in love.
Sarah: And you're not?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: What has love got to do with anything?

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: How long you been doing this, Gibbs?
NCIS: 19 years.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Can you tell somebody's lying by looking them in the eye.
NCIS: I can.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, look into mine. Ask me. Ask me!
NCIS: Would you kill for your brother?

Harmon: [Flying a F-14 Tomcat above the Superbowl dome] Well, it's no 50-yard line, but it's still a hell of a view. And we have the play-by-play on CBS Radio. Could have pulled worse duty than flying cover, eh, Skates? Since we're up here, what do you say we take a picture for the folks back home?
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Just point and shoot.
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: [after Harm inverts and reverts the F-14 Tomcat] Whoo! All right!

Captain: [at Bud's hearing to determine if he's fit to return to full duty] Does the lieutenant understand that even if he's granted permanent limited duty, his career will be capped. There's no way he'll be promoted to senior rank.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: The lieutenant has determined he would rather serve his country in a limited capacity than not at all.

[last lines]
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: I'd like to table our regular order of business. There's been a new development. With the, uh, CNO and commandant's blessing, SECNAV is standing up a prototype Joint Legal Service Center. Navy and Marine lawyers in the field under one command. Colonel MacKenzie... you've been selected for command of that unit. Your orders.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sir, I... I don't know what to say.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: It's Joint Legal Service Center Southwest. You'll be stationed in San Diego.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: San Diego, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, it's, uh, only five hours away.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Wouldn't make my vacation plans just yet, Commander. Hope you like Yorkshire pudding.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Force Judge Advocate, Naval Forces Europe?
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: You'll be stationed in London. You have two days' travel, four days' proceed. By the way, it's a captain's billet. The 0-6 board just reported out. Frocking's been authorized. Congratulations, Captain Rabb.

Lt: [speaking of Mic] He gave up his career and country for me! Are you willing to give up your GIRLFRIEND?
Commander: What are you willing to give up?
Lt: Answer my question first!

Lt. Bud Roberts,: Colonel, Commander.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Bud, what's wrong?
Lt. Bud Roberts,: Little A.J. He's missing.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: What?
Lt. Bud Roberts,: Mikey took him to the mall, and he disappeared.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, how long has it been?
Lt. Bud Roberts,: About eight hours.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm sure he'll turn up.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Do you want to fly home?
Lt. Bud Roberts,: I don't know, sir. I... I don't want to desert you. You have the Secretary-General testifying tomorrow...
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Just leave us all your research material. We'll manage.
Lt. Bud Roberts,: [close to tears] They'll find him by the time that I get home, right?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Of course they will.
Lt. Bud Roberts,: And if they don't, and he...
[Bud stops, and composes himself]
Lt. Bud Roberts,: Permission to return home, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Permission granted.
Lt. Bud Roberts,: Thank you, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Call us.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Good luck, Bud.

Mac: You know, men seem to pass through my life... except for you. Will you always be there?
Harm: Yes.
[Harm turns to face Mac]
Mac: Well then you need to know what the doctor told me...
[Camera zooms out and shows Harm reaching for Mac's hand]
Mac: [screen fades out]

Harm: You okay?
Mac: Every time I think I've put the pieces of my life back together somebody comes along and jumbles them back up. Every body who has ever meant anything to me is leaving my life.
Harm: You'll be okay, Mac. You'll get to see Chloe again. One day you'll have kid of your own.
Mac: Yeah that's right. My biological clock is going off and I keep hitting the snooze button.
Harm: Tell you what... five years from this moment if neither of us is in a relationship, we'll go have ourselves a kid.
Mac: You and me? Have a baby together?
Harm: Yeah, with your looks and my brains... he'll be... perfect.
Mac: And what if she has your looks and my brain?
Harm: That could work too. So what do you say? Deal?
Mac: Don't make a promise you can't keep.
Harm: I haven't yet.
[Mac and Harm shake hands]

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [discussing the crash of an F-14 in California] Has the Navy initiated a Mishap Investigation, General?
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Already on the scene. I want you to get to China Lake, ASAP. Conduct a concurrent JAG-man investigation. You're dismissed.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Aye aye, sir.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: If you see Colonel MacKenzie, send her my way.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Uh, sir, the Colonel is still in Norfolk taking depositions on the Harkin case.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Commander Turner, then.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Commander Turner is, uh, TAD to Camp Pendleton, General.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: [getting annoyed] Commander Roberts?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I believe Commander Roberts started his anger management classes this morning, sir.
Maj. Gen. Gordon 'Biff' Cresswell: Just how the hell did Admiral Chegwidden get anything done around here?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I think he found it a struggle, sir.

Harm: [On board the USS Guadalcanal waiting for the outcome of Bud's surgery] Just once I'd like you not to have a comeback.
Mac: I don't have one to Bud's dying.

Commander: [after another vision of Mac] I'm losing my mind.

Special: As you know, your cover was found near the scene of the crime.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You want to know how it got there.
Special: We know. It was planted.
Major: Looks like you may be off the hook, Commander.
Special: We did some checking into Lieutenant Singer's love life. She was seen having dinner and drinks with a sandy-haired man.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: My brother, at Benzinger's bar.
Special: No, no, no. This guy was older. And they never met at Benzinger's.
Special: Checked the JAG security log. We got a suspect. We just need to know if he had the opportunity.
[Tony hands Rabb a photograph; flashback of Commander Lindsey taking Rabb's cover]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: That son of a bitch. He did it right in front of me.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [speaking on intercom] Hello, Jordan, hello...
Clark: She's tied up right now.
[to Jordan, his bound and gagged victim]
Clark: Sorry, couldn't resist. I always wanted to say that.

Harm: [to Mac] Tell you what. Five years from this moment if neither us are in a relationship, we go have ourselves a kid.
Major: You and me? Have a baby together?
Harm: Yeah, with your looks and my brains he'll be perfect.
Major: And what if SHE has YOUR looks and MY brains?
Harm: That could work too.
[pause]
Harm: So what do you say. Deal?
Major: Don't make a promise you can't keep.
Harm: I haven't yet.
[they shake hands]

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [to Rabb and Brumby] At ease. Strip your blouses.
[after they've done so]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Don't come out until you've admistered pain equal to what you inflicted on Lt. Roberts. THAT IS AN ORDER!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Aye aye, sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: Aye aye, sir.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: With any other judge, I'd have won this case days ago.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: I'm sorry I'm not complying with your schedule.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Every time I work in an advantage, you slap me down.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: Because you ask for it.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You're relentless, you know that?
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: Hmm. So I've heard. I'm the hanging judge. The source of all your problems, right?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: That's right. But... though it pains me to admit, you're good. You don't let me get away with the stuff I pull on other judges. You really do know my playbook. Most of all, though, Mac... you know the law. And I hate you for it.
Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie: I'll take that as a compliment.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Good. Just remember this magnanimity when I'm on the bench, okay?

Mac: He, uh, finally told you he's not going?
Harm: Well, you know, once Harriette makes up his mind. That's pretty much it.

Capt. Tobias Ingles: Your closing, Commander, was that a lawyer's trick or did you mean what you said?
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Well I always mean what I say, sir.
[Ingles nods starts to walk away]
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Captain.
[Ingles turns around]
Commander Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Should the opportunity arise, sir, I'd be honored to serve under your command again.
Capt. Tobias Ingles: I'd like to have you back, Commander.

Harm: Thought you had orders to stay away from me.
Special: Well, that was before you went into open court to get that subpoena. Now my boss is afraid you'll go running to the press.
Harm: Not a bad idea. Might get the attention of the President. He may wonder why the CIA has nothing better to do than to keep a secret that's 34 years old.
Special: Don't do it, Rabb. Either way it turns out, you lose.
Harm: This isn't about me, Clay. And it's not about need to know, either. It's about real people with a hole in their lives that can't be filled with anything other than the truth. They need to know, because if they don't, it'll keep eating away at them. They need to know that they're not going to wake up in the middle of the night, every night, for the rest of their lives, wondering what happened to the people they loved.
Special: Some people give up that right to know. Maybe not voluntarily, maybe it's taken away from them, but it's gone, nonetheless. That's the way it is for the families of the stars on this wall.
Harm: Yeah. Well, at least they have a star. Where are the stars for the crew of the Angel Shark?

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Do you believe your brother was capable of committing suicide?
Sarah: The signs say yes. But my heart says no. Maybe I just don't want to believe that all of this could be happening again.

Sarah: [Harm, honking a truck horn at a cow in the middle of the road, wakes Mac] Oh, Harm, Harm, it's not going to move.
[Harm continues]
Sarah: That's not working!
Harmon: Well, you make her move then.
Sarah: How do you know it's a her?
Harmon: She's obstinate, immune to reason, and totally in the way.

Admiral: You see Jennifer Lopez twice a year?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Every time I get my teeth cleaned. She's my dental hygienist.

Harm: Bud, you helped me out of loyalty and friendship. Everybody else has a price.
Lt. Bud Roberts,: I'm sure you'll do the right thing, sir.

Lt. Jenarette: Well what happened down there was a... was a miracle
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Well, Lieutenant, that's a bit of an overstatement.
Lt. Jenarette: Sir, what I mean, sir. The tank you grabbed, it was practically empty. I just checked. You had maybe 15 seconds of air left, sir. You must have misread the gage.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [to the Admiral] Well I'd say you nailed it, sir
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Yeah.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Sometimes a good investigator has to admit the most obvious choice is often the right one.

Captain: [to Brumby] I don't know whether to KEEL HAUL or take the *CAT* to you!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [to Rabb] After 10,000 miles *I* want to do *both*!
Captain: [to Brumby] A Royal Australian Naval Officer does NOT behave like a pub crawling BRAWLER!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [to Rabb] You struck a junior officer!
Captain: [to Brumby] BROKE HIS BLOODY JAW!
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [to Rabb] IN TWO PLACES!
Captain: [to Brumby] What *possible* excuse could you make to defend this *reprehensible* act?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: None, Sir!

[Kevin had boasted about his scheme to evade punishment within earshot of Mac and Mic the night before]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: You should have waited until *after* the court-martial to celebrate, Kevin. Though we can't try you for Murder One again, I am going to *nail* you for desertion during a time of war!
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: I hope you go for the death penalty, mate!
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Absolutely... mate.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Nah, you'll never get it, but life without parole's a slam dunk. Mr. Roberts, take this DESERTER on board!

Catherine: Do you want children?
Harm: Yes.
Catherine: How were you able to convince her?
Harm: Well, I told her God gave her those hips for a reason.

[Rabb and Brumby are back in court after their forced boxing match]
Judge: [noticing Rabb's facial injuries] Commander Rabb, have you been in an accident?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [Rabb gets up] I have, Your Honor. But I'm quite ready to proceed.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: [Brumby gets up, with similar injuries] Same accident, Your Honour. but I too am ready.

P.O. Jennifer Coates: I had my back to him when I heard the explosion. When I got to him, he was covered with blood, and his right leg was gone. I put on a tourniquet, but it wouldn't stop bleeding. All I could do was get him out to the helo as fast as possible.
Mac: Well, it sounds like you saved his life, petty officer.
P.O. Jennifer Coates: Not if he doesn't make it.
Harm: He'll make it. He'll make it.

Admiral: [Harm and Mac are constantly saying the opposite of each other] Can the two of you agree on anything?
Mac: [simultaneously] Yes.
Harm: No.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Colonel, are, um congratulations in order?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Uh. it's uh, on the right hand, sir.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Ah.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Friendship ring?
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby: For now.

Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Remember when Meredith mentioned she was interested in taking flying lessons?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Oh, no. Please, sir...
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Commander, I completely understand your reluctance, but, uh, my back is against a wall here. She's been dreaming up these weekend plans and... hell, this is the safest one.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Safe for who, sir?
Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Look, all I'm suggesting is that... this may sound mean, but just take her up, get her sick, cure her of this flying bug.

Harm: [Harm's cell phone rings] Hello? Yeah. Harriett, it's for you.
[hands her the cell phone]
Lt. Harriet Sims: Me? Hello. BUD WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [Rabb is looking back as they're about to board the plane] Commander, never look back.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: No, sir.
[gives the attendant his plane ticket, then glances back to Mic and Mac]

Capt. Richard Carey: Seaman Wainwright, the members found you guilty of assault and sentenced you to six months' confinement.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Credit for time served, Your Honor.
Capt. Richard Carey: Granted. Seaman Wainwright, stand at ease. Twenty-two years ago, you made a foolish mistake. Youth and ignorance are no excuse. However, this court martial has ruled that there was a tragic miscarriage of justice. Apologies are inadequate to compensate you for your lost years. All of your rights, privileges, and property, including back pay, will be restored and you will be honorably discharged. On the part of the United States Navy, I wish you well and pray that the remainder of your life brings you joy and fulfillment. You are a free man. This court martial is adjourned.

Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I need to ask you both a question. If you murder co-counsel in the courtroom, can you cop an insanity plea?
Lt. Harriet Sims: [simultaneously with Harm] Absolutely.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yes.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I thought so.

Lt. Bud Roberts,: [after talking to Kevin Lee] Commanders, I never appreciated how good you were at playing good cop/bad cop.
Lt. Cmdr. Mic Brumby,73777: Who's playing?

Sarah: Harm, what I've learned from my past is that alcohol doesn't change your true nature; it only makes it harder for you to control the one that you already have.
Harmon: Sometimes, a person's true nature is buried so deep that they never understand it.

Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: NCIS has discovered the remains of an unidentified JAG lieutenant in Potomac Park. Medical examiner estimates she's between four and five months pregnant.
Lt. Harriet Sims: Oh, my Lord, sir, I hope it's not Lieutenant Singer.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, it can't be Lieutenant Singer. She's due in two weeks.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Have you been in contact with the lieutenant?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, I... Uh, no, sir. Not since she left three months ago. I was, uh... estimating.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harm's right, sir. It couldn't be Loren. I mean the medical examiner wouldn't mis-estimate by four months.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: He hasn't conducted the autopsy yet. I assume the body's somewhat decomposed.
[knock on door]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Enter.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Excuse me, Admiral. I tried Lieutenant Singer's San Diego number and her cell phone, sir. Both have been disconnected, Admiral.
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Thank you, Tiner.
P.O. Jason Tiner: Aye, aye, sir.
[Tiner exits]
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Well, that doesn't look good.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, you're not writing her off, are you, sir?
Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You know, Commander, I may not personally know all seven hundred and fifty JAG officers under my command, but I damn sure would know if one was missing for three weeks.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I don't know who fathered Lieutenant Singer's baby, and I don't know who murdered her. So what else, Gibbs?
NCIS: What'd your investigation show?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Hey, you were there. The admiral ordered me to stay out of this.
NCIS: Oh, I'm referring to the investigation you gave Commander Manetti to do on Lieutenant Singer's love life, prior to her deployment.
Special: [in the observation room with Vivian] Oops.
Special: Yeah, "oops" is right. Without reading him his rights, we're gonna lose all this stuff in court.
Special: No, no, no. We got this stuff, Viv. Gibbs is setting Rabb up.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, Colonel MacKenzie's investigation into Lieutenant Singer's pregnancy wasn't going well. Mac and I are old friends, I thought I'd help.
NCIS: Reasonable answer.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yeah, the truth usually is.
NCIS: So, you wouldn't mind giving us a DNA sample?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: For what purpose?
NCIS: Paternity test.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I didn't even *like* Lieutenant Singer!
NCIS: I wouldn't say that during a murder investigation.

[after the Army JAG officer assigned to be Harm's second chair commandeers the questioning of their client]
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb,: I hope you don't mind me talking while you interrupted.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: So, what makes you think that I would be involved in any other way than professionally with Lt. Singer?
NCIS: You're more comfortable asking questions than you are answering them, huh?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I guess I'm not used to being a suspect.
NCIS: Suspect? Who said you were a suspect? Have I read you your Article 31 rights?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: No, you haven't. Which means you're playing a very risky game, Gunny.
NCIS: I'm not smart enough to play risky games with a lawyer of your caliber, Rabb.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: That's "Commander Rabb." Or "Commander," or "Sir." *Gunny*. I believe, as a reservist, you're still technically in the Marine Corps.
NCIS: I am an NCIS Special Agent, and I don't have to salute you, or "sir" you, or give you any military courtesy. But you know that. So who's playing the games here?

Admiral: Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, et al., versus the United States Navy. Tiner, is this a joke?
Harm: I can see the headlines now, Admiral. "Navy grounds Santa Claus".

Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: Tiner!
P.O. Jason Tiner: [Turns around] Sir!
Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.: [Tosses his cover to Tiner] For when you make Commander. May it bring you better luck than it did me.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: What do you have do to get a plaque?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's for good behavior. So you don't have to worry about it.

Catherine: I like getting to know other attorneys outside the courtroom. The deep ones drop the mask and reveal who they really are.
Harm: And what am I revealing?
Catherine: An inability to drop the mask.

Lt. Cmdr. Tracy Manetti: Most serial killers fit a basic profile. Single white male, young, father absent from his life. Usually distant from his mother and a lack of a committed relationship with a woman...
[Manetti notices Harm's facial expression]
Lt. Cmdr. Tracy Manetti: What is it, sir?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Well, I was just thinking that, uh, could describe me.
Lt. Cmdr. Tracy Manetti: You're too old to fit the profile, Commander.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Oh. Well, I don't know whether to be insulted or relieved.

Lt. Bud Roberts,: [Bud's speaking with a broken jaw] I don't know why the Admiral ordered you to fight.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I don't think it took too much forcing, Bud.
Lt. Bud Roberts,: With all due respect, ma'am, it's your fault. They were fighting over you.
[Mac nervously chuckles]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: What'd he say?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: That, uh, you deserved what you got.
[Mac walks away]
Lt. Bud Roberts,: That's not what I said, sir.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Relax, Bud. I know you didn't say that. Whatever it was, you struck a nerve.

Mattie: [regarding who she's IMing] Yeah, it's Kevin. The boy I like.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Yeah, I know. Your
[biological]
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Dad told me.
Mattie: Great, now I have two Dads with loaded shotguns.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Actually mine's a nine millimetre, Navy issue. It's more accurate.

Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Come by my office when you're done here.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: I *am* done.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: [looks back in the courtroom then turns back to Coulter] Think about it.
[leaves]
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: You forgave your father?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: Was it hard?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It took me a while.
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: What did you say to him?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Nothing. He was in a coma by the time I was ready.
[Coulter goes into the court room and approaches her father]
Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Coulter: Hi.
Capt. Thomas Chaddock: Hi.

Mac: You having second thoughts about Gunny?
Harm: His instincts have always been pretty good.
Mac: Love is an antidote to instincts.

Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: We're not the same. I'm not reckless. I don't fly stupid.
Lt. 'X: That's what it about, huh? You know I'm better than you and you can't stand it.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I wouldn't care if you were the greatest pilot in the world. You inspire those guys
[the other other pilots]
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: to pull the same stunts that you pull, then you're a menace. Not to the enemy! But to THEM. To US!
Lt. 'X: They can't do this. The X-man HAS to fly.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Not any more, Andy. Not any more.

SecNav: I don't see how I can help you, gentlemen.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Sir, there has been a serious miscarriage of justice.
SecNav: Allegedly.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Almost certainly, Mr. Secretary.
SecNav: At this point in time, only the president has the authority to order a retrial.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Sir, you could suspend the remainder of Mr. Wainwright's sentence.
SecNav: But there's another recourse. File a writ of habeas corpus on the grounds that Wainwright's constitutional rights were denied due to a Brady violation.
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: We considered that, sir. But it could take months for the federal district court to hear the arguments and issue a decision.
SecNav: I suggest keeping the president out of this.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I'm aware that Congressman Bolton represents your home state, sir.
SecNav: And if he's guilty of misconduct, he's going to answer for it. But we can't afford to go after him, not now.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Don't you mean not ever, sir?
SecNav: Watch your tone, Commander. Congressman Bolton is a ranking member of the House Armed Services Committee. And he's spearheading the opposition to the Navy's low-frequency active sonar project. If we go after him now, it smacks of retaliation.
Cmdr. Sturgis Turner: Politics.
SecNav: Damn right, politics. The president's under a magnifying glass. He can't give his enemies anything to use against him. Maybe next year.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Mr. Secretary, former Seaman Wainwright has spent the last twenty-two years of his life in prison for a crime he didn't commit, sir. Every day he remains there is an affront. He can't afford to wait until next year, sir.

Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [on the phone with Harm] How are you?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Mac, take my mind off of this.
[Harm holds out the phone]
Petty: [offscreen] This is serious negligence that...
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, petty officer Chinick was conducting his business in the main machinery room. Another petty officer on her afternoon watch saw De Mara leaving. When she went inside, she discovered the body. Could have been a deal gone bad.
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: Bad enough to provoke murder?
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Why don't you talk to De Mara?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: I would, but he's a little preoccupied with his mortality at the moment.
Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Is he getting worse?
Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb,: To say he's unstable would be an insult to unstable people.