The Best Justin Theroux Quotes

Adam: What's going on Cynthia?
Cynthia: It's been a very strange day.
Adam: And getting stranger.

Luigi: This is the girl!
Adam: Hey, that girl is not in my film!
Vincenzo: It's no longer your film.

Simon: Tell me who the hell you're working for!
Sydney: I'm working for myself, you son of a bitch!

Timothy: [after snorting "cut" cocaine] It's a fucking milligram of sweetener. I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking oatmeal.
Patrick: Definitely weak, but I have a feeling that if we do enough of it we'll be okay.
Club: [leans over from another booth] Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs!
Timothy: Fuck you! Calm down. Let's do it anyway. That is if the FAGGOT in the next stall thinks it's okay!
Club: FUCK YOU!
Timothy: HEY FUCK YOU! Sorry, dude. Steroids. Okay, let's do it.

David: They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in.
Craig: Are you sure that's Paul Allen over there?
Timothy: Yes. McDufus, I am.
Craig: He's handling the Fisher account.
Timothy: Lucky bastard.
Craig: Lucky Jew bastard.
Patrick: Jesus, McDermott, what does that have to do with anything?
Craig: I've seen that bastard sitting in his office, talking on the phone to the CEOs, spinning a fucking menorah.
Patrick: Not a menorah. You spin a dreidel.
Craig: Oh, my God. Bateman, do you want me to fry you up some fucking potato pancakes? Some latkes?
Patrick: No. Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
Craig: Oh, I forgot. Bateman's dating someone from the ACLU.
Timothy: The voice of reason... the boy next door.
[looks at restaurant bill]
Timothy: Speaking of reasonable, only $570...

Rita: ¡Yo nunca fui a Casablanca con Luigi!
A: Qué lástima.
Adam: ¡Qué va!

Cowboy: Well, just stop for a little second and think about it. Will ya do that for me?
Adam: [sarcastic tone] Okay, I'm thinking.
Cowboy: No, you're not thinkin'. You're too busy being a smart aleck to be thinkin'. Now I want ya to "think" and stop bein' a smart aleck. Can ya try that for me?

Cowboy: There's sometimes a buggy. How many drivers does a buggy have?
Adam: One.
Cowboy: So, let's just say I'm driving this buggy. And, if you fix your attitude, you can ride along with me.

Cynthia: You're broke.
Adam: But I'm not broke!
Cynthia: I know, but you're broke. Where are you?

Adam: I got the pool, she got the pool-man.

Jason: Did you want to tell me something, Adam?
[Adam turns to Jason as Ray Hott appears behind Jason, staring ominously at Adam]
Adam: This is the girl.
Ray: Excellent choice... Adam.

Cowboy: A man's attitude... a man's attitude goes some ways. The way his life will be. Is that somethin' you agree with?
Adam: Sure.
Cowboy: Now... did you answer cause you thought that's what I wanted to hear, or did you think about what I said and answer cause you truly believe that to be right?
Adam: I agree with what you said, truthfully.
Cowboy: What'd I say?
Adam: Uh... that a man's attitude determines, to a large extent, how his life will be.
Cowboy: So since you agree, you must be someone who does not care about the good life.

Patrick: Come on, Bryce. There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about.
Timothy: Like what?
Patrick: Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.
Luis: [feigning tears] Patrick. How thought-provoking.

Patrick: New card. What do you think?
Craig: Whoa-ho. Very nice. Look at that.
Patrick: Picked them up from the printer's yesterday.
David: Good coloring.
Patrick: That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.
David: It's very cool, Bateman, but that's nothing. Look at this.
Timothy: That is really nice.
David: Eggshell with Romalian type. What do you think?
Patrick: Nice.
Timothy: Jesus. That is really super. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?
Patrick: [Thinking] I can't believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten's card to mine.
Timothy: But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Raised lettering, pale nimbus. White.
Patrick: Impressive. Very nice.
David: Hmm.
Patrick: Let's see Paul Allen's card.
Patrick: [Thinking] Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
Luis: Is something wrong, Patrick? You're sweating.

Cynthia: Do you know somebody called "the Cowboy"?
Adam: The Cowboy?
Cynthia: Yeah, the Cowboy. This guy, the Cowboy, wants to see you. Jason said he thought it'd be a good idea.
Adam: Oh, Jason thought it'd be a good idea for me to see the Cowboy. Well, should I wear my ten-gallon hat and my six-shooters?

Cowboy: Howdy.
Adam: Howdy to you.
Cowboy: Beautiful evening.
Adam: Yeah.
Cowboy: Sure wanna thank you for coming all the way up here to see me from that nice little hotel downtown.
Adam: No problem. What's on your mind?
Cowboy: Well, now. Here's a man who wants to get right down to it. Kind of anxious to get to it, are you?

Sydney: When am I going to see you again? I have so many questions...
Simon: Bout what?
Sydney: Everything...
Simon: Oh, yeah, well, we work well together. And I have your number; there's always going to be another job coming up... I'll call you.

Simon: On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most degenerate displays of sexual theater known to man? Huh... Julia's like a 17!

Jared: The best part about being a published author, besides the universal validation, is the knowledge that I am pumping my ideas into the mainstream.
Carrie: I thought it was that you could behave like an utter ass hole and people would find it amusing.
Jared: I love you, you know that? I'm like, fucking in love with you.
[Carrie laughs]
Jared: Will you go home with me?