50 Best Karyn Parsons Quotes

Hilary: You were right, Will. Scott is the first guy since Trevor that I really liked, and I guess I just got scared. I guess I had to find something wrong with him.
Will: And that Adams Apple thing is the best you could come up with?
Hilary: Well, you know I never had a good imagination. I never even had imaginary friends when I was a kid. I used to play with Carlton's. God, they were such dweebs.

Hilary: Just toast and coffee this morning, Geoffrey.
Will: Geoffrey's not here, Hilary.
Hilary: Can he do that?
Vivian: He was so upset, I gave him the morning off. I better go check to see how he's doing.
[Vivian leaves]
Hilary: Great, so what am I supposed to do about breakfast?
Will: Oh, here's a crazy idea, Hil. How about you get it yourself?
Hilary: Fine.
[picks up the phone]
Hilary: Bel-Air Hotel? Get me room service.

Hilary: Carlton told a joke.
William: No, Hilary. Carlton is a joke.

[Will comes home to find that all the furniture in the living room has been stolen and begins to panic]
Ashley: What happened here?
Will: Man, we was robbed!
Hilary: Oh, my God! What'd they take?

Will: His highness would like you to clean his sneakers. And you will clean them with your toothbrush. Not up and down, not side to side, but in a circular motion.
Carlton: Does he want you to clean his room?
Hilary: God, no.
Carlton: Will you clean *mine*?

Hilary: I'm sitting next to Arnold.
Ashley: I'm sitting next to Arnold.
Phillip: I don't want my tires slashed, *Geoffrey's* sitting next to Arnold.

Ashley: I'm sorry I overslept. It took me forever to get to sleep. That guard dog was barking all night.
Hilary: Can't he be like other dogs and quietly lick himself?

Vivian: Hilary, you are not to have men in the pool house.
Carlton: I hate to tell tales out of school, but Trevor keeps a makeup case there.
Hilary: That's a lie!
Carlton: Is not!
Hilary: Stand on a chair and say that to my face!

Will: Hey Hil', what's so funny?
Hilary: Oh, Carlton just told a joke.
Will: No, Hilary, Carlton is a joke.

Hilary: I can't go into a hospital looking like this. The place is full of doctors.
Viola: Hilary, please don't tell me you're that superficial.
Hilary: Well, it may be superficial to you, but I'm young. I can still get a husband.
Viola: Not without any teeth, you won't.

Hattie: Hilary, tomorrow we are going for a spa treatment.
Hilary: It'll be great, Grandma, you haven't lived until you've had a mud mask.
Hattie: What people don't pay for in Beverly Hills. Then Ashely, you and I are going to make some macaroni rain hats.
Carlton: Gee, Grandma, you'll need to rest after that.
Hattie: I know, you can tell me about your schoolwork then.

Geoffrey: WeII, I had a hand in raising you, Miss Hilary and if I do say so myseIf, Geoffrey don't raise no fools. Now if you Iove this job as much as I think you do, go out there, pick up a tray and enter that room as if you were the Queen of England.
Hilary: But she's so dowdy. Can I be Princess Caroline instead?

Carlton: I did it.
Will: You mean you and Joann...
[Ashley walks in the room]
Will: made the deal?
Ashley: What are you talking about?
Will: Business, Ash. Have some breakfast.
[to Carlton]
Will: So, who put the offer on the table?
Carlton: She did, and the terms were so attractive I jumped on at it right away, and don't worry... I protected my investment.
[Will and Carlton run out of the room laughing as Hilary walks in]
Hilary: What was that about?
Ashley: Carlton lost his virginity.

Hilary: Okay, I'm making a New Year's resoIution to find a job. Right after Easter.

Hattie: Back home my Zeke loved our swimming hole. He'd strip down to his birthday suit and jump right in.
Will: Granny, please, it's almost dinner time.
Hattie: [laughs] He'd be in there swimming with Melvin all the time.
Philip: Uh, Mama, I don't think anybody wants to hear about Melvin.
Carlton: Au contraire, Dad, the Melvin stories are classic.
Will: So Melvin was like your best friend?
Hilary: Melvin was his pig.

Hilary: Daddy, there's a man under my bed and I didn't tell him to hide there.

[Hilary is begging Geoffrey to come and work for her after she has moved out]
Hilary: I'm a career woman. I don't have time to dust and push around that... oh, what do you call that big, loud thing that sucks up everything?
Geoffrey: You call him Daddy.

William: [about Ashley] Look, well, somebody has to tell her. I mean, she won't do anything stupid if she has some good solid facts.
Carlton: Wrong, my hot-blooded cousin. If you tell her about sex, she's just gonna run out and do it.
Hilary: Oh, that's ridiculous, Carlton. We want to expose her to a realistic portrayal of relationships. I know. We'll rent "Pretty Woman."

Hilary: I mean, we must all do our parts to protect the environment. Every time we cut down a tree, it just takes us one step closer to global warming. And we must do it not just for ourselves or our children, but for all of humanity.
Margaret: Why, I never knew it was such a problem. I think it's great that you have the courage to want to do something about it.
Hilary: Thanks. It's my passion.
Margaret: Where should I make a donation?
Hilary: I don't know.

Hilary: [peeking around the corner with WIll] Is he in there?
Will: Nah, the coast is-
[Uncle Phil suddenly appears causing him to shriek in fright]
Will: - CLEEEEEEAR!

[Hilary is a volunteer at a homeless shelter for Thanksgiving, and everyone just finished eating]
Hilary: I can wash the dishes... My butler can be here in fifteen minutes.

Will: You all trying to play me like that, right?
[to Carlton]
Will: What if he told you that you couldn't wear plaid anymore?
Carlton: Don't joke about that, Will.
Will: [to Hilary] What if he told you that you couldn't entertain men in the Jacuzzi anymore?
Vivian: When did you have a man in the Jacuzzi?
Hilary: This isn't about me. It's about Will.

Ashley: [to Vivian and Hilary] Listen to yourselves. You're caught up in the lives of make-believe characters. I'll tell you what, Mom, I'll watch the baby, go to a museum and take Hilary with you.
Vivian: Ashley, the only reason we get involved in this kind of stuff is that real life sometimes is kind of boring.
[hears the sound of a motorcycle engine]
Vivian: What's that?
Hilary: Harley-Davidson '58 panhead.
[Ashley and Vivian look at her]
Hilary: I used to date a biker.

[Hilary and Trevor first meet]
Trevor: Wow!
Hilary: I know.
Trevor: Hi, I'm Trevor Collins, and these are my real teeth.
Hilary: Wow!
Trevor: I know.

Philip: [after the baby is born] Hello, little Nicholas Andrew Banks.
Vivian: Honey, I thought we agreed to call him Philip.
Hilary: Ugh, that's a stupid name.

Carlton: Let's start by serving our guest of honour. Mr Fellows, care for some yams?
Ned: I'd love some. Interesting. I've never had them before with this thick black crust.
Hilary: It's cajun style.
William: Hilary burned them.
Vivian: Oh, they're just burned on top, once you get underneath it... they're totally charred. How did you do that?
Ashley: Mom, give Hilary a break. You should give her some credit just for putting out the fire.

Hilary: I sold my first painting at the art gallery. I think I'm going to get a raise soon.
Geoffrey: That's marvelous, Miss Hilary.
[glares at Philip]
Geoffrey: You must let me know what that feels like.

Hilary: I just love auctions, you hear 'going once, going twice' and no matter what the amount is, you just raise the paddle and double it!

Geoffrey: I've worked my entire life.
Hilary: You have? Why?

Vivian: So, Ed, uh, Hattie tells us that you grew up on a farm.
Ed: That's right, a horse farm.
Philip: Hmm, my daddy had a horse.
Carlton: Um, uh, Mr. Downer, what breed did you raise?
Ed: Appaloosas. They have the most beautiful spotted coats.
Philip: My dad had a spotted coat, then he had it cleaned.
Ashley: Did you have any other animals on your farm?
Ed: Oh, of course. We had chickens, cows, and a great old dog named Brownie.
Philip: My dad loved brownies. He once ate a whole pan full.
William: [to Carlton] That explains a lot.
Hilary: So what happened to your farm?
Ed: My son's there. I passed it on to him, like my dad got it from his parents.
Philip: My dad had parents. We called them Grandmom and Grandpop.
Hattie: Uh, Zeke, honey, it smells like my dessert is ready. Would you go check on it for me, please?
Ed: Mmm. Smells like sweet potato pie.
Philip: My dad liked...
Vivian: SWEET POTATO PIE!

Hilary: What do you know?
Will: I know that the basic element of physics is matter. And if you were going to write a term paper, you would have to know something, from... I don't know, the first day?
Hilary: How did you find out?
Will: I have my methods, and that Toni's roommates have a combined IQ of a raisin.

Hilary: [to Will] I need to switch cars. Carlton said you had the keys.
William: Oh, yeah, here.
[hands Hilary the keys]
William: What's wrong with your car?
Hilary: I'm going shoe shopping. I need a wagon.

Hilary: Jazz and I are getting married.
Philip: Over his dead body!

Hilary: [Will is playing a rap song by clanging his silverware on his glass] Will! There are other people at this table.
Will: Oh, right... any requests?

Ashley: [Ashley and Hilary are handing out refreshments] Hilary, why doesn't anyone want my soda?
Hilary: [glancing at Ashley's chest] Because your soda's... flat!

Hilary: There is just something I'm dying to know.
Sonya: Yes, I did it. And he deserved to be slapped.

Vivian: Phillip, HiIary wants to take us to the club for brunch.
Philip: After what Will did Iast night, they're aII going to be gossiping about us. Why put ourseIves through that?
Vivian: They won't be gossiping. Will gave the check back. Besides, peopIe at our cIub aren't Iike that. I mean, no one cared about Mrs. SiIverberg's divorce.
Philip: I heard she's been seeing the goIf pro.
Vivian: I heard her husband caught them in the utiIity cIoset.
Hilary: But did you know that both of them were wearing nothing but cIeats?
Ashley: It was the tennis pro in the steam room, but the cIeats part is right.
[everyone looks at her]
Ashley: Kids talk.

[at a seance for Trevor the table starts shaking]
Hilary: That's Trevor! I know his vibration!

Philip: Who's pregnant?
William: Not me.
Carlton: Me either.
Hilary: I'm going to go on a limb and make that unanimous.

Geoffrey: Ashley, how does a Mercedes sound?
Ashley: Vroom, vroom.
Geoffrey: Great! I'll get you two.
Hilary: Vroom, vroom, vroom!
Geoffrey: Nice try.

Hilary: They got mad at me because I made them turn the escalator back on.

William: [to Hilary] Okay, Miss Banks, you were the previous tenant in the aforementioned pool house, is that correct?
Hilary: Yes.
William: And would you please tell us of your experiences there?
Hilary: Am I under oath?
Judge: Of course.
Hilary: Well, Trevor would come over at about...
William: Objection!

Hilary: [referring to Will blackmailing her to do embarrassing things at dinner] Will, if you have an ounce of compassion, you'll let me off the hook.
Will: That's a good point.
[pauses to think]
Will: Nah! We'll do it anyway.

William: Aahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Carlton: Oh, God. What happened?
William: We've been robbed.
Hilary: Oh, my God. What did they take?

[Vivian once again rings the bell, annoying everyone]
Philip: Stop with the damn bell!

Jazz: [to Will] Take note. Hilary, your behavior at the club last night was completely unacceptable. Now where I come from, manners count for a lot. I'm sorry I have to say this, but I simply cannot allow this rudeness to continue. Do I make myself clear?
Hilary: Jazz, come here...
[cut to Hilary throwing Jazz out]

Vivian: You remember the first boy you had over to watch TV, Hilary?
Hilary: Please, I don't remember the guy I went out with last week.

Hilary: Do I have to do everything myself?
Geoffrey: The day you do everything yourself is the day I square-dance naked in the White House front lawn.

Hilary: Those newsletter bozos put up a big "Honk If You Hate Hilary" billboard right at the corner of Sunset and Doheny.
William: Oh, damn. That mean they took down the "Naughty Nightie" girl.

[Geoffrey is teaching Hilary how to make toast]
Hilary: OK, so let me get this straight, once the bread is in the slots, you just push down on the lever thing?
Geoffrey: Yes.
Ashley: Hilary, can...
Hilary: Not now, Ashley, I'm learning how to cook.