20 Best Vivian Banks Quotes

[Philip and Vivian do not agree on how to raise Hilary]
Philip: A girl should always listen to her father.
Vivian: In that case I never would've married you!
Philip: Well, that was different. Your father had it in for me. What was it again that he didn't like about me?
Vivian: It was a tie between your family and your temper.
Philip: Well I'll tell you one thing: I sure don't miss him.
[Vivian glares at Philip]
Philip: God rest his soul.

Hilary: Just toast and coffee this morning, Geoffrey.
Will: Geoffrey's not here, Hilary.
Hilary: Can he do that?
Vivian: He was so upset, I gave him the morning off. I better go check to see how he's doing.
[Vivian leaves]
Hilary: Great, so what am I supposed to do about breakfast?
Will: Oh, here's a crazy idea, Hil. How about you get it yourself?
Hilary: Fine.
[picks up the phone]
Hilary: Bel-Air Hotel? Get me room service.

Philip: So you said your daughter could pose for Playboy?
Vivian: No, I said I didn't like it, but I also said she's a grown woman and it's her choice.

William: Everyone, Uncle Phil had that heart attack because of me.
Vivian: Will, your fat joke had nothing to do with this.
William: I've been sneaking him fatty foods for a week.
Everyone: WHAT?

Vivian: You can't stop little girls from growing up.
Philip: I can and I will.

Ashley: [to Vivian and Hilary] Listen to yourselves. You're caught up in the lives of make-believe characters. I'll tell you what, Mom, I'll watch the baby, go to a museum and take Hilary with you.
Vivian: Ashley, the only reason we get involved in this kind of stuff is that real life sometimes is kind of boring.
[hears the sound of a motorcycle engine]
Vivian: What's that?
Hilary: Harley-Davidson '58 panhead.
[Ashley and Vivian look at her]
Hilary: I used to date a biker.

Hilary: My therapist said that the only way to cope with Trevor's death is to confront it.
Vivian: Trevor died bungee-jumping.
Hilary: I'm working up to that. Well, I'm off to my skydiving class.
William: Yo, Hil, that's not your parachute. That's my bookbag.
Hilary: Whoops. That would've been embarrassing.

Ashley: [after being caught lying to her family] All I want is for you to trust me!
Vivian: Trust is a very fragile thing...
[pause]
Vivian: And you're gonna have to start earning it all back.

Vivian: Sometimes I think we work so hard to give our kids what we didn't have, we forget to give them what we did have.

William: Uncle Phil, that is not cool, the way you dissing my father like that.
Philip: The hell with your father.
Vivian: Philip, for God's sake.
Philip: He waltzes in here after 15 years?
William: Fourteen.
Philip: Excuse me. Fourteen years and acts like nothing has happened. Wake up, Will. This is the same guy who didn't think enough of you to pick up the damn phone!
William: He made a mistake. I'm sorry that everybody can't be as perfect as you, Uncle Phil, but if I can forgive him, how come you can't?
Philip: Because he's not doing this for you, he's doing this for himself and if you think any differently, then you're a fool!
Vivian: Hey, just cool it. Just cool down. We can talk about this another time.
William: You know what, Aunt Viv? Ain't even nothing to talk about. I've been waiting for this for a long time, my whole life and ain't nobody gonna stop me. Come tomorrow, I'm out of here.
Philip: Oh yeah, I don't think so.
William: Who cares what you think? You are not my father!
[storms off]

Vivian: Do you really think we can rely on them to take care of the b-a-b-y?
Hilary: Who's Bobby?
Vivian: The baby.
Hilary: Mom, his name is Nicky.

Philip: I have done everything for Will. Suddenly, it's like none of that matters. I can't believe he could be so selfish.
Vivian: Philip, listen to yourself. Somebody's being selfish all right, but it isn't Will.

[Vivian isn't doing any work because she's pregnant]
Vivian: I'm as big as a house. All I want to do is lie in bed and eat pie.
Phillip: Well, Vivian, so do I, but I still get things done!

Vivian: No, no you're not bringing a naked woman into my house
Jazz: You misunderstand, she doesn't come naked

Vivian: Lou, if you walk out of Will's life now, don't you ever come back.

Philip: What is it about me that baby doesn't like? Is it my beard? Because if it is, I'll shave it off right now.
Vivian: Don't you dare. I love the way that beard feels.
Philip: Hmph. I'm surprised you remember.
Vivian: Sweetheart, it hasn't been that long since we've made love, has it?
Geoffrey: Five months this Tuesday.
[Vivian and Phil stare at him, and he shrugs]
Geoffrey: Thin walls.

Vivian: [hears Nicky and sees Will holding him on TV] That's my baby!
Philip: [Carlton's waving the zucchini dressed as Nicky] That's my zucchini.

Vivian: Carlton, your father just wants to make sure that if anything should happen, we'll be taken care of.
Hilary: That's right, Carlton. Daddy has gotten us used to this rich and pompous lifestyle. Oh, guess what? I went in on a race horse.

Vivian: Philip, stop moping. You know Will didn't mean what he said.
Philip: Well, why'd he say it? For four years, I treated that boy like my own son. Whether he needed a pat on the head or a kick in the pants, I was there for him. I worked my ass off trying to keep him in line.
Geoffrey: And yet, it's come back with a vengeance.

Vivian: [to Philip] Honey, you've also got an infant son who needs you in one piece.
Philip: I don't see Dan's wife giving him any heat over this.
Vivian: From what Helen tells me, she ain't giving him any heat anywhere else either.
Philip: Oh, you women discuss that?
Vivian: You'd be surprised what we talk about.