The Best Marley Quotes

Kevin: No offense, aren't you too old to be afraid?
Marley: You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid.

[Harry and Marv have caught Kevin in the Murphy's house and hung him on the basement door]
Marv: What are we gonna do to him, Harry?
Harry: We'll do exactly what he did to us: we're gonna burn his head with a blowtorch!
Marv: And smash his face with an iron!
Harry: How about we slap him in the face with a paint can!
Marv: Or shove a nail through his foot!
[Behind them, Marley sneaks in with his snow shovel]
Harry: First thing I'm gonna do is to bite off every one of these little fingers, one at a time...
[Marley raises his shovel and knocks Marv out cold, Harry turns around only to be knocked out, too. Marley lifts Kevin off the door]
Marley: Come on, let's get you home.

Kevin: So give it a shot, for your granddaughter anyway. I'm sure she misses you and the presents.
Marley: I send her a check.
Kevin: I wish my grandparents did that. They always send me clothes. Last year I got a sweater with a big bird knitted on it.
Marley: That's nice.
Kevin: Not for a guy in the second grade. You can get beat up for wearing something like that. Yeah, I had a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.