The Best Buzz Quotes

Kevin: Can I sleep in your room? I don't want to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.
Buzz: I wouldn't let you sleep in my room... if you were growing on my ASS!

[last lines]
Cedrick the Bellman: Mr. McCallister's room service bill, sir.
[he hands Buzz the bill]
Cedrick the Bellman: Merry Christmas, sir.
[he hold out his hand for a tip, of which Buzz hands him gum]
Cedrick the Bellman: Nice family. Really.
[Buzz looks at the long room service bill worth over $967.00]
Buzz: [sarcastically] Merry Christmas, indeed.
[loudly]
Buzz: Oh, Daaaad...!
Peter: [yells out] KEVIN! YOU SPENT $967 ON ROOM SERVICE?

Kevin: I went shopping yesterday.
Jeff: You? Shopping?
Kevin: I got you milk, eggs, and fabric softener.
Peter: No kidding. What a funny guy. What else did you do while we were away?
Kevin: Just hung around.
Buzz: He went shopping? He doesn't know how to tie his shoe and he's going shopping!

Buzz: Okay, everybody, calm down! Calm down! Hey, hey! All right, now, if Kevin hadn't have screwed up in the first place again... Then we wouldn't be in this most perfect and huge hotel room with a truck load of all this free stuff. So I think it only fair that Kevin get to open up the first present. And then I'll go, and the rest of you, and so on.
[Tosses a package to Kevin]
Buzz: Merry Christmas, Kevin.
Kevin: Thanks, Buzz.
Peter: [the entire family applauds] Merry Christmas, Kevin.
Uncle: Okaaay, Kevin! All right, Merry Christmas!
Buzz: Okay, enough of this gooey sh... Show of emotion. All right, everyone, let's dig in!

[last lines]
Buzz: [shouting] Kevin! What did you do to my room?

Megan: You're not at all worried that something might happen to Kevin?
Buzz: No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.

Kevin: [apprehensively] I made my family disappear.
[thinks back to family members saying bad things about him]
Megan: Kevin, you're completely helpless!
Linnie: You know, Kevin, you're what the French call "les incompetents".
Buzz: Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
Jeff: Kevin, you are *such* a *disease*!
Kate: There are fifteen people in this house and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Frank: Look what you *did*, you little *jerk*.
Kevin: [gleefully] I made my family disappear.

Aunt: [At the airport, awaiting luggage] Give this to Kevin.
Tracy: Give this to Kevin.
Linnie: Kevin.
Buzz: Give this to Kevin.
Rod: Give this to Kevin.
Sondra: Give this to Kevin.
Megan: Give this to Kevin.
Jeff: Give this to Kevin.
Brooke: Give this to Kevin.
Fuller: Here you go, Kevin.
[startled when he sees an elderly couple, then hands bag back]