The Best Miriam Margolyes Quotes

Brenda: [as Mother Mildred and Trixie enter the jail cell] Have you brought her? Have you brought my baby?
Nurse: Not this time sweety.
Brenda: But the policeman said you were midwives.
Mother: We *are* midwives, and we're also nurses and we're your friends. While we're looking after you, we'll be whichever of those you need most.

Prof. Sprout: Oh, Longbottom's been neglecting his earmuffs.
Seamus: No, ma'am, he's just fainted.
Prof. Sprout: [sighs] Yes, well, just leave him there.

Mother: Hmm, it seems to me that with all the posts so amply covered, the best thing we could do is to take almost all of you away to convalesce. You need a change of scene, good food, sea air; and I know precisely where all three can be obtained.
Sister: I fear you evoke the spectre of the Mother House.
Mother: Our esteemed Sister is incorrect. I think that, on balance, that I speak to Sister Julienne alone.
[they retreat to the chapel room]
Sister: We could go into my office; I had just lit the paraffin stove... so I could see to some paperwork.
Mother: Sister, it's best if we remain within convenient distance of the altar rail. By the time I inform you of my plans, we might both feel the need to pray. I believe God is calling me to open another Branch House.
Sister: Where?
Mother: As ever!: where good nursing and skilled midwives are *desperately* needed; where there is often no doctor for many miles; where climate is our enemy and water and electricity both fickle friends at best.
Sister: Are you thinking of expanding our operation to Africa?
Mother: No. We're going to the Outer Hebrides.

Sister: The presence of a guest might persuade our sisters to *moderate their quarrel*.
Sister: The quarrel is not between ourselves, it is *within* us. The quarrel is between one's own desires and that which is demanded. The quarrel is between the body and its longings, the soul and its terrors, and the mind - yearning to be free. The quarrel defines us. It drives us forwards, upwards, to our knees in prayer. You must embrace the quarrel. The quarrel will lead us to the answer. It is everything we are.

Nurse: [unpleasantly surprised at Mother Mildred's Branch House expansion plans] The Outer Hebrides?
Mother: I thought you'd approve being Scottish.
Nurse: I'm not that sort of Scottish. I grew up in a busy market town; the Hebrides are very remote.