The Best Mona Robinson Quotes

Mona: [when Frankie Fitzgerald tries to out bid her daughter to purchase Tony as part of a neighbourhood auction] Angela, I know what's good for you... Buy him!

Tony: Hey look at this nose. I fractured this nose three times and I can still smell.
Samantha: Yeah! I broke my finger twice and I can still dial.
Mona: I once fractured my pelvis.
Tony: Yeah, and she can still walk.

Mona: [to Tony, holding a pan of banana bread in front of a running fan, wafting the smell outside the front door] Do I smell banana bread?

Angela: Well, we got on a plane you know swish, swoosh.
Tony: Yeah, well, it sounds like something happened in between the swish and the swoosh.
Angela: Well, we went to Las Vegas, and we got married but I thought we got the marriage annulled the next day?
Angela's: No. These are just the papers that divided up the garbage collection. Angela, we're still married.
Mona: [bursts into laughter] And to think all of this time that you were married to Michael you were a bigamist.

Mona: It's like dinner theater for crazy people.

Mona: See, my instincts tell me this is the man for my grandson - and it doesn't hurt that he's a hunk.
Angela: Mother, I'm not looking for a hunk for a housekeeper.
Mona: Why not? He'll do floors. He'll lift furniture. Can I come over when he lifts?

Mona: Oh, it is such a joy immersing myself in academia. I spent hours in the library re-reading my notes on Freud. What a brilliant mind. He saw filth in everything.
Tony: [indicating his cleaning supplies] So do I.
Mona: Well, I'm going to go have an after-school snack. All that talk about fruit cakes and nuts made me hungry.

Mona: Angela, what is the problem?
Angela: The problem is, Mother, you sent me a man for a housekeeper.
Mona: Oh, don't be sexist. A man can do meaningless, unproductive work just as well as a woman.
Angela: Mother, Mother, the housekeeper's room is very close to mine.
Tony: Oh, hey, don't worry about me. I keep a can of mace by my bed.

Mona: Well, I guess I better hit the books. I have a final tomorrow.
Michael: Oh Mona, you finally did it, huh? You went back to college. Gee that's terrific. Knowledge is its own reward isn't it?
Mona: No. The reward is the spring break at Fort Lauderdale.

Mona: [When Frankie Fitzgerald tries to out bid her daughter to purchase Tony as part of a neighborhood auction.] Angela I know what's good for you... Buy him!

Mona: Tony's my - housekeeper-in-law.
Cindy: [to Tony] You work for Mona's daughter?
Tony: Yeah, you know. She brings home the bacon and I fry it.