Top 20 Quotes From The Glades

Callie: [Searching the swamp for the treasure] Are you sure this is right?
Jim: Yes. I got the coordinates from the sextant and put them in the GPS thingie.
Callie: GPS thingie? Oh my God, I'm going to die!
Jim: You are not going to die.
Callie: I'm in the swamp with a guy from Chicago who says 'GPS thingie'! I'm going to die!

Callie: Wow, that's either an exit wound or all of the surgeons in Chicago are drunks.
Jim: Yeah, my captain shot me. He thought I was sleeping with his wife.
[Callie raises an eyebrow as she gives Jim an injection in his butt]
Jim: I was actually the only one in the department who *hadn't* slept with her.
Callie: Good boy.

Callie: So, this is you being gentle?
Jim: [cynical tone] Yeah, try anything once.
Callie: So if this is gentle, why is he crying?
Jim: I don't know!

Carlos: Puncture wounds.
[Unzipping the body bag]
Carlos: A lot of them. On his neck and chest, probably from a screwdriver or ice pick.
Jim: Wow. Someone was really mad at this guy. I can't imagine anyone being that mad at me.
Carlos: Oh, yeah?
[Said with deadpan sarcasm]
Carlos: Try Harder.

Ashley: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Jim: That would be really weird if you did.
[flashes his badge]

Jim: There's not much about murder I don't know, or can't figure out if I just keep asking the right questions.

Josie: [having pulled him over] Is that your gun in there?
Jim: No, I was just glad to see you.

Callie: When Ray gets out of prison I'm going to kill him.
Jim: She said to the homicide detective.

Brandi: Which means you think I had something to do with his death.
Jim: Did you?
Brandi: No. Do you need my alibi?
Jim: [With a smile] Yeah, do you got one lying around?

Justin: [responding to Florida State Police Investigator Lt. Jim Longworth's seemingly pointless questions] What does any of this have to do with the woman without a head?
Jim: What is it with everyone and that question? It's how a police investigation works. It's what we do. We ask questions, sometimes direct, sometimes indirect. It doesn't matter if they make sense to you. Half the time, they don't make sense to me.

Jim: [title sequence narration] Some say I don't play well with others. I was a damned good detective in Chicago until a disagreement with my boss encouraged me to pack it up and make a change. So I put the Windy City in my rearview and headed to the Sunshine State to kick back, play some golf, work on my tan, maybe write the occasional speeding ticket. Yeah, well, that didn't work out.

Brooke: Look I know what people think about me but I loved my sister
Jim: [Before answering the phone] Hold that lie.

Callie: Sign this.
Jim: What's this?
Callie: It's just a waiver that relieves the hospital of all liability if my treatment of you were to cause you to get an infection, lose your hand, or die.
Jim: I'm not signing this!
Callie: You will if you want your pants back.

Jim: Hey... sweet dreams.
Callie: Sure, sweet dreams.
Jim: [shakes his head after Callie walks away] Sweet dreams? Idiot!

Justin: Why would I tell you she was out there if I had anything to do with killing her?
Jim: I don't know. Because you're a moron?

Jim: Well, nothing says winding it down like a lethal dose of cyanide.

Callie: Oh I don't know. I think that you pretend to be out of your depth so that someone like me can come and save your ass.
Jim: Oh you think my ass needs saving?
Callie: I know your ass needs saving.

Callie: So you think that a woman choosing a specific job option is objectifying herself?
Jim: I did, until you said it like that...

Jim: [Looking at buisness cards] Well nothing says knight in shining armor then I own a pretzel francise.
Callie: The women make Way more money then the men do,
[arms crossed pointedly]
Callie: so they hardly need saving.

Georgia: I've learned never to put a question mark where God has put a period.