Top 300 Quotes From The Six Million Dollar Man

Col. Steve Austin: Mrs Thatcher would like to see her husband right away, Mr. Markos.

Jamie: Steve, I know I'm right, and so do you. Now you're cute, but he's not gonna look twice at your legs.

Trish: Steve, do you really think I'll have to go to jail?
Col. Steve Austin: I don't think so. Of course a lot depends on how the trial comes out.
Trish: Oh the trial, how do you think I should wear my hair? And maybe I should wear it up, proud and brave. Or how about hanging down, kind of pathetic and vulnerable. I mean when I'm on the witness stand. Maybe I should wear it in a little cloud of innocent rain that's all over my head, what do you think?
Col. Steve Austin: I think this is one trial I might gonna miss.

Oscar: I am glad that you weren't... seriously damaged.
Col. Steve Austin: Oh Oscar, please, I can't stand the raw emotion.

John: Hey hold it Steve, I'll finish 'em for ya.
Col. Steve Austin: John, go sing, will ya? Come on.

Kuroda: Moshito say, pain is best crutch.

Kuroda: You, fly through space to the moon, hmm?
Col. Steve Austin: Yes.
Kuroda: And you walk on moon?
Col. Steve Austin: Look, I know it's a little hard for you to believe...
Kuroda: You biggest liar on earth, that's what I believe.

Col. Steve Austin: Well thanks for the ride, Oscar. I'll try and forget the conversation.
Oscar: This conversation's not over yet, Steve. I asked you to give a guy a break. I think you're entitled to know why. The fact is: I owe Senator Edward Hill, and so do you.
Col. Steve Austin: How?
Oscar: Two years ago, I needed six million dollars for a very special project. He ran that money through the senate appropriations committee with no questions asked because he respected my need for secrecy. To this day he doesn't know where that money went.
Col. Steve Austin: I see. So I'm in the Senator's debt.
[sighs]
Col. Steve Austin: Well, there's not much I can do about it.

Liza: Kidnapping?
Oscar: Yes! Kidnapping! It may seem funny to you, Liza, but security threats rarely move me to hillarity.
Liza: [laughs] Oh, well that my dear Oscar is because you have the grey, schrunken soul of a beurocrat.
Oscar: Hm.
Col. Steve Austin: And because he's a worrier. But with some reason this time.

Nicole: Is your arm generating the power to work the defroster?
Col. Steve Austin: [Steve nods] Yes.
Nicole: Then it has to be atomic powered.
Col. Steve Austin: That's right.
Nicole: Your arm's bionic!
Col. Steve Austin: Two years ago I was part of an experiment Oscar and Rudy... tried. So far it's worked.
Nicole: One of Oscar's experiments... called in to help another one of Oscar's experiments... kinda makes us family, doesn't it?
Col. Steve Austin: Sorta. Country cousins.

Dr. Chester Dolenz: I don't want you to think of me as your enemy, Mr. Goldman. May I call you Oscar?
Oscar: It won't work, Dolenz. Steve Austin and I know each other too well. You can't keep this up for long.
Dr. Chester Dolenz: I've made mistakes in the past. I know, Steve Austin said my first robot squeaked. But this time I've foreseen every possibility. This new robot is a supreme mechanism. Every human detail has been painstakingly reproduced. This robot eats and drinks. I've installed an incinerator to burn up all of the fuels and foods ingested into the body. It thinks! It can even simulate breathing.

Oscar: I asked Carlos how you two got acquainted. And his answer was just unrepeatable.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, I can imagine.

Victoria: He's a rat, your mister Goldman, calling me a blackmailer.
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, he's not so bad once you get to know him.
Victoria: The world is entitled to know such advanced technology as you excist. Think what that would mean, that would give hope to countless people. I'm gonna get this story, and you'd better believe it.

Barney: [laughs] Listen to the man, Rudy. Astronaut, world famous, authentic physical miracle. Probably still buys his wrist watches at the Air Force PX. Listen Stevie boy, when you got it, you don't flaunt it, man, you use it!

Col. Steve Austin: [to Bigfoot] Is that you my friend?

Col. Steve Austin: You always this brave with frightened women?
Sheriff: You shut your mouth, bright boy! And come along... we got a squirmy little pet out here, who's dying to get his teeth into you!

Oscar: I've ordered all material that's come through O.S.I. in the past 24 hours to be coded with this chemical. I want you to check every pair of hands in O.S.I. particularly personel that don't come in contact with this top secret material. I want you to get this inside man. I want you to break this ring and most of all, find out who's behind all this.

Ted: You've, eh, got a pretty good grip.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, it comes from squeezing a lot of orange juice.

Violette: Quail, that fence is 30 feet. Nobody can vault that high.
Quail: But he did get over the fence...

Madame: Which is better? To have a week of peace talks, now that I've got them together. Or gamble with our friends, have surgery and live for...
Dr. Rudy Wells: Well, there's no telling, Madame Prime-Minister. It could extend your life considerably.

Oscar: Josh is right, there is a mistake in the computer program.
Col. Steve Austin: And his sun as the origin of space theory?
Oscar: Completely valid. I've got all the printouts here to prove it.

Helen: Did Jim leave yet?
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, yeah, I think so.
Helen: Oh poop! I wanted him to get a couple of men to helm him lift the refridgerator out so I can clean behind it.
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, I can slide it out for ya.

Col. Steve Austin: I can't undo history, even for my own life.

Alfredo: Now I don't understand anything about science or scientists, but you are a man, Dr. Wells. And I know how to get a man to cooperate with me.

Gavern: When was the last time you saw Mr. Austin?
Robot: [imprinted with Fred Sloan's memories] Mister? You mean Colonel Austin, don't ya? Steve would cringe if anybody would call him mister. He's all airforce, there's not a drop of mister in him. The last time I saw my buddy Steve Austin was on the tennis court this morning.

Col. Steve Austin: Say, what ever happened to Peanuts Donnely, that kid I used to play football with?
Joe: Oh, oh, Peanuts. Well, he was killed in Vietnam. One of the first ones.

[Opening narration, version 2]
Harve: Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive.
Oscar: Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better... stronger... faster.

[repeated line]
Oscar: [when talking on the telephone] This is Oscar Goldman speaking.

E.J. Haskell: An old trapper once claimed he saw Taneha vanish into a cliff of solid rock.

E.J. Haskell: Well, don't forget to bring your tranquiliser gun in case you meet Taneha coming down.
Col. Steve Austin: I think I'll just try and sweet talk him.

Jamie: I don't know what it is, but sometimes I look at you and I get a feeling like there's something more. Was there?
Col. Steve Austin: I'm your friend, Jaime, always was, always will be.

Jamie: I want Oscar to put me to work and use these bionics he gave me.
Col. Steve Austin: Jaime, I don't know...
Jamie: Oh Steve, I gotta work. I've gotta get my mind on some new things.
Col. Steve Austin: Look, I know what you're saying, but...
Jamie: I know I'll be alright, Steve. Between my bionics and your friendship and Michael's help we can't lose, really.

Jaime: Oh Oscar, if you happen to have any eh, handsome male Russian dignitaries to come over here and need an escort, you do know where to find me, right?
Oscar: I know where to reach you. Ojai.

Col. Steve Austin: Well, Julia, it's Mr. Whatshisname, who sat two rows behind me on the plane.

Tom: How 'bout you, Steve, what have you been up to since you raised all that dust on the moon?
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, nothing much.

Col. Steve Austin: Why are you doing it? Why make another Bionic time bomb?
Oscar: This is an entirely different situation, Steve. It's a controlled experiment.
Col. Steve Austin: Oscar, you can't control him not if he doesn't want to be controlled.

Kuroda: I am sorry to kill you. You have a strange honor, almost Japanese. But you are the enemy.

Oscar: First change we'll get, we'll have your bionic eye checked. Maybe the infrared's on the blink.
Col. Steve Austin: Oscar, I know what I saw.

Walter: I feel like a long-tailed cat in room full 'a rockin chairs.
Oscar: I couldn't have said that any better myself, Shadetree.

Col. Steve Austin: Well, if he's gonna fight us, our chances of escape drop from fair to zero.
Leon: Don't worry, Alex is a good boy, he'll obey me.

Jim: Helen, you sure it's legal for the stepfather of the groom to give the bride away?
Helen: Well, as long as the stepfather of the groom isn't the father of the bride, it's legal.

Doctor: So, there are two bionic people! Well done, Rudy, that's marvelous. After I take over the OSI, I'll have to go through all of Rudy's files. See if he has any other wonderful surprises for us.

Col. Steve Austin: Light fingers Delgado strikes again, huh?
Carlos: I'm a collector.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, so was Al Capone.
Oscar: Steve, would you please tell me what's going on here?
Col. Steve Austin: Same old story, Oscar: dog bites man, man bites dog, you know.

Dr. Chester Dolenz: [Dolenz' robot is fighting Steve Austin] Kill him, my boy!

Col. Steve Austin: [referring to Suzie's horse] Kind of a mean looking fellow there.
Suzie: His name is Doomsday. I decide to ride him once or twice before breakfast.
Col. Steve Austin: What if Doomsday decides to have you for breakfast?

Col. Steve Austin: [to Oscar's impersonator] You know, you talk about that computer like it was your brother or something. It's just a bunch of wires, dumb wires.

Col. Steve Austin: Audrey, you don't have to use that gift of yours all the time. Like I don't have to use bionics. Now if I wanna get to the second floor of a department building, I don't leap up, I can take an elevator.

Oscar: You look a million miles away.
Col. Steve Austin: I was just thinking of... somebody.
Oscar: Anybody I know?
Col. Steve Austin: No, not anymore.

Col. Steve Austin: Falling boulders a common thing around here?
Kuroda: Sometimes. But that was too close.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, you can say that again.

Oscar: [Steve is carrying a large bag of supplies] You look like a... like a bionic Santa Claus.

Jamie: [carving a heart in a tree with her fingernail] What every woman wants: a bionic fingernail.

Oscar: Could you give us any information, any knowledge that your people may have accumulated?
Minonee: I've told him everything I know.

Oscar: Navy tower, this is Oscar Goldman. My codename: Snow White. Request immediate take-off clearance, priority red one.
Navy: Roger, Snow White, you're clear for take-off.

Narrarator: Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive.
Oscar: We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better, than he was. Better, stronger, faster.

John: We've got a little surprise for ya, we have a celebrity with us that I'd like to introduce now. He's not a performer, but his eh, TV show thrilled millions of people all over the world. I guess you won't recognize him here on Earth. But on the moon, he is the one and the only, the super astronaut Colonel Steve Austin, how 'bout a hand for him, folks?

Col. Steve Austin: I know you, Oscar, you're not just a glorified public servant. You're a man who has to keep trying to find ways to improve things. In a way, you're a pioneer too. Where would I be if you weren't?

Walter: Buddy, you are luckier than a skinny turkey at Thanksgiving.

E.J. Haskell: I owe it to my father. I'm sorry, I owe it.
Col. Steve Austin: You don't owe anyone but yourself. Look, wiping out a species is not gonna destroy your demon. It'll destroy you.
E.J. Haskell: You can't go in there, you have no protection!
Col. Steve Austin: Neither has Taneha.

Audrey: When are you gonna tell me how you threw that guy so far?
Col. Steve Austin: When you're old enough.
Audrey: You're a rat.
[pause]
Audrey: I'm old enough to know what bionic means...
Col. Steve Austin: Audrey, stop messing around in my mind.

Barney: Everytime it gets cold out, this arm starts creaking. Had it back at Doc Wells three times now.

Col. Steve Austin: And as long as being trapped down here, we are only trapped as long as we sit here crying in our Vodka's, right?
Colonel: You Americans, you are always so... so optimistic.
Col. Steve Austin: My friend, I don't know any other way. Let's go.

Col. Steve Austin: Now come on, try it.
Audrey: There's no one like me in the whole world. I like myself. I'm a worthwhile person.
Col. Steve Austin: Louder.
Audrey: I'm a worthwhile person and I like myself!
Col. Steve Austin: With feeling!
Col. Steve Austin: [she gigles] Come on.
Audrey: There's no one like me in the whole world. I like myself and I'm a worthwhile person. That's what I am, a worthwhile person, ok?
Col. Steve Austin: [he laughs] I think you got it.

Doctor: How much did your bionic man cost you, Oscar? Five, six million dollars? We shall soon see if it was a good investment, won't we?

Lena: [siiting down with Steve at a small dinner table with two candles lit] I can't tell you how I've enjoyed this evening. You don't know what it's like being surrounded by muscles all day long.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I'm one of them, remember?
Lena: [laughs] No, you're not. You're different, and, uh, very refreshing.
[pours some brandy]
Lena: Brandy?
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, no thanks. I'm in training. Rule number one- no drinking.
Lena: And do you always go by the rules?
Col. Steve Austin: When it's possible. Tell me, do you like your job with Retsky?
Lena: I get to see the world, mingle with sports celebrities. It's not a bad life. Excuse me.
Col. Steve Austin: Surely.
[when she leaves, Steve looks through her purse, but she comes back, and he puts it down]
Lena: I can't believe how difficult it's been not being able to smoke among you athletes.
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, that's rule number two- uh, don't pollute our lungs.
Lena: My last cigarette, and I promise not to blow smoke in your face.
Col. Steve Austin: You know, I heard Mr. Goldman say that some of the people Retsky's imported in the past were ringers- Nicholas Gross, for example. Remember him?
Lena: Um, uh, a soccer player from Yugoslavia. He got into some trouble I think.
Col. Steve Austin: Do you think one of the fighters might get into trouble?
[the phone rings]
Lena: Excuse me.
[walks to the phone and answer it]
Lena: Yes?
[as she talks on the phone, Steve sees "The China Trade Commission 589 E. To" written on a piece of paper in the typewriter, and a note on the desk that says, "Opening Night Boxing. The Chinese Trade Commission" with his bionic eye]
Lena: [talking into the phone] Yes that can be arranged. Ok. Consider it done. Bye.
[hangs up the phone and turns to Steve]
Lena: Mr. Retsky.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, thank you for a very nice evening.
Lena: You're leaving?
Col. Steve Austin: Rule number three- we can't stay out late. Good night.
[walks toward the door]
Lena: Steve, tell me something. Who are you really?
Col. Steve Austin: Steve Miller, America's number two-ranked amateur heavyweight.
Lena: You're good, but boxing is not your profession.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, if it isn't, I'm going to be in a lot of trouble in that ring.
[walks out the door and leaves]

Col. Steve Austin: Am I gonna have to tie you up?
Alex: I don't wanna leave here.
Col. Steve Austin: What are you trying to do, get us killed?
Alex: You maybe. But they wouldn't kill us.
Col. Steve Austin: Look, I don't have time to give you a political education.
Alex: I don't want your education, or your country.

Col. Steve Austin: [threatening Oscar and Rudy] You've got five seconds to tell me what's going on, or I'm gonna start using this Bionic arm you two gave me and throw you both through these walls!

Oscar: Steve, your friendship is most important to me.
Col. Steve Austin: Oscar, I don't lie to my friends.
Oscar: There are times when I have to lie.

Irina: Of course! You have a Geiger counter in your arm.
Col. Steve Austin: It came with the equipment. I never thought I'd have a use for it, though.

Col. Steve Austin: That truck, Larry, is our ticket to freedom.
Larry: Might as well be the moon.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, well, I've been to the moon. It's not as far as you think, pal.

Col. Steve Austin: Tomorrow, when I climb into that bird, my stomach's going to feel like a bag of bricks. But I'd still feel the same way without your suspicions. But I''ve still got to fly it.
Oscar: Even though you know someone's trying to kill you?
Col. Steve Austin: I feel that's what I'd be doing to myself if I didn't fly it.

Dr. Stanley Bacon: Do you realize that for one sixth of your cost, they could have had my weapon system perfected?
Col. Steve Austin: I think you're given them some second thoughts about that.

Kuroda: You'll make a mistake... and die.
Col. Steve Austin: And you'll win?
Kuroda: I cannot lose. I have nothing.

Kuroda: My family Samurai. Fighting men. My grandfather's father was Samurai and all their fathers before them. The fought for their masters without questioning for hundreds of years. The bushido: the man's honor and duty. Not questons.

George: I'll tell Mr. Austin, Goldie is one beautiful guy.
[referring to Oscar Goldman]
Col. Steve Austin: Goldie?
George: Yeah, he's a good guy, don't you know?

Cal: Now we must be carrying an extra passenger.
Zeb: What?
Cal: Well figure it out. You weigh a hundred and seventy, right? ? According to the scale back there, we weigh three hundred and seventy pounds more than this truck did when it left the factory. That means a guy who weighs about two hundred pounds.
Zeb: What are you talking about? Where? How? I mean, the door's locked, sealed, I checked it!
Cal: I don't know, but we've got a passenger.

Col. Steve Austin: You know, Kuroda, you've been telling me how hard it is for you to adjust to city life. Imagine how hard it's gonna be for him.
Kuroda: You mean, Gary and I can go back, live in forest?
Col. Steve Austin: For a few months. Then we'll see how it works out.

Col. Steve Austin: Jaime.
Jamie: [Panicking] What did you let them do to me?
Col. Steve Austin: Look, I know how you feel.
Jamie: No, you don't! Why'd you let them do that?
Col. Steve Austin: Jaime, trust me. Please trust me.
Jamie: [Tears in her eyes] I don't want to be a freak.
Col. Steve Austin: Jaime.
Jamie: Why don't you just let me die? For God's sake!
Col. Steve Austin: Jaime, don't tell me about wanting to die.
[Shows Jaime a demonstration of his bionic arm by ripping two pieces off a metal chair]
Col. Steve Austin: Look at me.
[raising his voice]
Col. Steve Austin: Look at me!
[Proceeds to bend chair, and finishes]
Col. Steve Austin: I know how tough it is. I went through exactly what you're going through.
Jamie: [Looked amazed when Steve, ripped the two pieces off the metal chair] You're arm is bionic?
Col. Steve Austin: [Nods] And both legs. And an eye.
Jamie: An eye?
Col. Steve Austin: [Nods]
Jamie: Which one?
Col. Steve Austin: You tell me.
Jamie: [guessing] I can't.
Col. Steve Austin: Now will you trust me? I'll be here to help you, Jaime, every step of the way. But you got to try. You've got want to live, Jaime. You hear me?
Jamie: Yes.
Col. Steve Austin: [Kisses Jaime's forehead]

Apploy: And Faler here has developed a superficial allergy to your world.
Faler: In more ways than one.

Barney: Look Burstyn, what am I going to have to do to get you to release Carla?
Lester: I'll think of something, Barney.

Col. Steve Austin: How sensitive is her hearing?
Dr. Rudy Wells: Well I'll tell you what, why don't you just turn your back and whisper something?
[indicates for Jaime, who is in a glass booth, to turn her back also]
Dr. Rudy Wells: Eh, part of a nursery rhyme, or anything.
Col. Steve Austin: Eh... Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Jamie: And Rudy Wells and those bionic men put Jaime and Steve back together again.
[giggles]

Col. Steve Austin: I love you Jaime, I've always loved you...

Col. Steve Austin: By the way, Callahan, you have a first name?
Peggy: Yes.

Doorman: Morning, Colonel Austin.
Col. Steve Austin: Mornin'
Doorman: You're up awfully early for Sunday.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I got a speach to write this morning. The way I write 'em, I gotta get an early start, you know?

Niles: [to Steve] If you don't make it, they'll be picking us up with a sponge.

Col. Steve Austin: I don't speak Japanese.

Liza: I'm an expert rider. In rough country, on a well marked course. The hills will be alive with the sound of, eh...
Oscar: Music?
Liza: Very funny.

Colonel: Doggone it, Cowboy. Year in and year out, all I ever get is routine. Then you come down here for two weeks, I go on a vacation and what happens? Everything! You space cowboys have all the fun. Come on, jump in. No sense wearing out your feet.
Col. Steve Austin: Did you catch any fish?
Colonel: What do you think, marshmallow arm?

Foreman: What can I do you for?

Oscar: [on phone] Yes Steve, I have heard of the O.G.A. But it's so secret nobody on the Hill knows who or how many there are.

Jeremy: I better not see you down in camp 'til you're finished here... or you can kiss your axe good bye.

Wheel: [to Steve] I always thought if I had a son, he would have been like you: Air Force hero, astronaut, flying high, living clean. Not like me, having to live and work in hiding. This month a brickyard, last month a mortuary, hm. Next month...
Col. Steve Austin: Where's Trish?

Josh: Do you realize what we could learn if we send one of those dolphins up into space into that electrical field? Why there's no... mystery in the universe that you and I couldn't solve!

Col. Steve Austin: [climbing into the boat with Kelly to resume following the old lobster boat that's towing a huge load of logs] Well, Oscar, are you sure you don't want to lumber along with us?
Oscar: [smiling in amusement at Steve's clever pun, and in preparation to making one of his own] You're barking up the wrong tree, pal!

Col. Steve Austin: An F104.
Angie: How can you tell?
Col. Steve Austin: The sound. There's not another bird around that makes that sound.
Angie: Then you must be a pilot!

Col. Steve Austin: [to Austrian waitress] Excuse me, but how would you say 'Stop watching him and get outta here right away' in Austrian?

Col. Steve Austin: [Steve's mom is stirring something up] Do I still get to lick the bowl?
Helen: [paying attention to something else] What dear?
Col. Steve Austin: What kind of cake is this?
[tastes a bit with his finger]
Helen: Eh? Oh!
[tries to stop him]
Col. Steve Austin: Ooh, gah, it's terrible!
Helen: [laughs] Of course it is, it's wallpaper paste.
Col. Steve Austin: It's not bad for wallpaper paste.
[laughs]

Col. Steve Austin: Oscar, how did you do that?
Robot: Hm?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, that coffee, it's scolding hot.
Robot: Well, I have the perfect, eh, stomach for working in Washington, Steve, I can eat anything, I can drink anything, I just burn it up. It's cast iron.

Col. Steve Austin: I think you know by now that the people who have been living in this house don't want anything from anybody, except friendship. Will one person in this town take a chance and be a friend?

Josh: Eh, Steve, about those improvements?
[meaning Steve's bionic replacements]
Col. Steve Austin: What about them?
Josh: Do they come in black?

Murdoch: Is this the Wagner twins?
[Steve nods]
Murdoch: Do you know they are only twelve?
Col. Steve Austin: So they say.
Murdoch: Think we can handle them?
Col. Steve Austin: I would think so.
Murdoch: Like taking candy from a baby.
Jack: I'm afraid, sir, that you're a bit outnumbered. Three to one odds are hardly fair.
[the twins use their powers of the mind to make Steve Austin do their bidding]

Jamie: [panicking] What did you let them do to me?
Col. Steve Austin: Look, I know how you feel.
Jamie: No you don't. Why did you let them do that?
Col. Steve Austin: Jaime, trust me, please trust me.
Jamie: I don't want to be a freak.

Shige: I'll tell my secretary what men you with to take with you and what supplies you will need.
Kuroda: I need only one man to help me, sir.
Shige: One man?
Kuroda: Yes sir. The man who brought me out of the Philipine jungle. The astronaut, my friend, Colonel Steve Austin.

Dr. Jeffrey Dolenz: He's the reason my first robot's in the junkyard.
Rossi: Dr. Dolenz, We're paying you to build a team of robots that can rob Fort Knox. Now just what has the man out there have to do with that?
Dr. Jeffrey Dolenz: I'm not going to build another robot, only to have him destroyed by that man out there. My next robot is going to be stronger and better than Steven Austin

Col. Steve Austin: Relax, Barney. Like I said, you'll do fine.
Barney: Fine? Yeah, were both just fine. A couple of carefully engineered deadly weapons by Mr. Oscar Goldman out of Dr. Rudy Wells.

Suzie: In case you're wondering, I work at the range. 'Cause I'm a super rider. And 'cause my, eh, uncle's Tom's partner.
Col. Steve Austin: I see.

Niles: You know, maybe Meyer had the right idea putting America over a barrell. This country's given some people a raw deal.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, some people have given this country a raw deal. Nothing's perfect, Niles, this country's basically what we make it, nothing better, nothing worse.

Shalon: [about to erase part of Steve's memory] You will not be forgotten.
Col. Steve Austin: I wish I could say the same.

Doctor: How could you have know that by removing this, that projector would explode? Well, don't tell me that you have a background in biocanical electronics?
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, I've snuck into a few classes here at MIT, professor.
Oscar: Steve has taken advanced science classes at, eh, at other universities as well, Doctor.
Doctor: Him? I thought he was a football player.
Oscar: That, too.

Chin: See, I told you and Mr Goldman, bionics of yours don't work when you're climbing a real mountain.

Helen: [Steve and his stepdad are going for a walk] Now you boys behave yourself, be back by ten.
Col. Steve Austin: [laughs] I figured we'd do a little honky-tonkin'.

Technician: Don't your legs ever run out from under ya?
Col. Steve Austin: Not any more.

Sheriff: Listen, we just as soon work for you, I never did like Willis anyway.
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, that's mighty nice of you, but I got other plans for you too.
Sheriff: You, you ain't gonna put that snake up here, are ya?
Col. Steve Austin: No, he'd, eh, probably bite you and get sick.

Theodore J. Matheson: You drive a hard bargain. But if your device tests out under these conditions I specify, yes, you will have the money and a new identity in whatever country you like. You have the breathing device with you?
Col. Steve Austin: You'll see it when we agree on terms.
Theodore J. Matheson: What a price. That should be quite a site.
Col. Steve Austin: It's only a gadget, but it works. It's sell-able.
Theodore J. Matheson: Do you have it here?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, the breathing device is the only thing involving the principle your buying. It's small enough to smuggle out of the OSI.
Theodore J. Matheson: Would you like to give me an idea of the principle involved?
Col. Steve Austin: Would you like to give me 5 million in gold?
Theodore J. Matheson: That's a great deal of gold.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, it's a great deal of principle.
Theodore J. Matheson: All right. It will be here when you complete the test.
Col. Steve Austin: When will that be?
Theodore J. Matheson: Uh, this afternoon after the park closes. I have a few arrangements to make, including the gold. Will that be agreeable to you?
Col. Steve Austin: Fine. As for an idea of what's involved, uh... it's unlimited power. But the conversion is the real secret.
Theodore J. Matheson: Do you mean nuclear fusion?
Col. Steve Austin: That's right, Mr. Matheson. The ocean is one vast, untapped, and unlimited power source.

Jason: Since you got so many ideas, Charlie, what happens if we run into him first?
Charlie: Heh, finders keepers.

Col. Steve Austin: [having thrown Charlie and Jason up into a tree] I'll send the sheriff back with a couple of parachutes.

Oscar: Steve, I want you to meet Tanya.
Col. Steve Austin: Sure.
Oscar: You're going to be her official escort while she's in the United States.
Col. Steve Austin: Escort? Why?
Jaime: Hm. Why me indeed? I mean, you just happen to be handsome, eh, famous, and terribly charming when you wanna be.
Oscar: Now wait a minute.

Col. Steve Austin: Was your ship launch from a planet or a larger spaceship?
Minonee: A large spaceship.
Col. Steve Austin: Where?
Minonee: Out there, near Pluto's orbit.
[points to the sky with two fingers]
Col. Steve Austin: [quoting J.M. Barrie] Second star to the right, straight on till morning.

Col. Steve Austin: Jaime, this is no tennis match! You hit a ball into this net and you'll get your head blown off!
Jamie: Well, then, I'll just have to aim high and serve nothing but aces.

Oscar: [holding a file marked Most Secret] You want me to take seven million dollars worth of bionic perfection and toss it down the drain, huh?
[tosses file on table]
Col. Steve Austin: Well I got one advantage over you there, Oscar, I don't care about the seven million dollars.

Oscar: I know what's been going on here.
Col. Steve Austin: Do you, Oscar?
Oscar: I know that four of them landed in a craft that came down at sea. I know that one of them died and disappeared. I know that if anyone touches them, they'll suffer extreme radiation burns and shock. And I know that we can't let any of them escape.

Col. Steve Austin: Well hello Linda.
Linda: Hi Steve.
Col. Steve Austin: Oscar wants a little talk with you.
Linda: Oh, sorry, no time, I'm already late for rehearsal.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, you're gonna be late, about twenty years late. Oscar will explain it to you.

Barney: Did you really think that when the great Oscar Goldman pushed one of his little buttons and ordered up you, his brand new bionic gadget, did you really think he ordered only one of a kind?
[pause]
Barney: Wrong.

Ted: Alright, Steve-baby, you're just about to get the ball. Get this one for the home team, huh?
Oscar: Well I didn't expect you in the rooting section, Ted.
Ted: I may not like him down on the ground, probably never will. But when he's up there, he's the man. Dig it?
Oscar: Dig it.

Liza: [Austin helps Liza dismount her horse] I'm sweaty.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I kinda like it.
Liza: [laughs] You really do appeal to all my... baser instincts.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, we gotta start some place.

Col. Steve Austin: [looking at a blurry picture of Bigfoot] If Bigfoot ever saw this, he'd turn over in his cave.
Dr. Rudy Wells: What makes you so sure it isn't Bigfoot?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I said goodbye to him before he travelled back into space with the aliens that created him.

Robert: The American dream was like a beautiful balloon, Mr. Austin, but balloons have a way of bursting in your face and then there's nothing left but air.

Oscar: How do you tell a man who saved your life that he disobeyed an order?
Col. Steve Austin: You don't.
Oscar: I agree with you.

Larry: First time I've ever been on two winning teams in one day.

Dr. Chris Forbes: Want some company?
Col. Steve Austin: Ok, eh, if you don't ask a lot of questions.
Dr. Chris Forbes: No, I don't have any questions. I figured you out all by myself.
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, and that's the end of your curiosity?
Dr. Chris Forbes: My medical curiosity...
Col. Steve Austin: You know, I just ran that through my computer.
Dr. Chris Forbes: And?
Col. Steve Austin: I like the read-out.

Agee: Lady, I have a gun in my pocket. Now get up, and walk to the door, or it just might go off.

Jaime: I'm glad you're my friend, Steve. I don't really have anybody to talk to about Michael, you know, like a girlfriend or somebody. Cause sometimes I just wanna gobble him up and yet other times I feel like I have this eh... like I have somebody else...

Charlie: Now listen Ernest, I don't care how you do it, but you see you get that bike fixed here, by tomorrow, or you're in big trouble.

Lieutenant: You sure you haven't had anything to drink?
Col. Steve Austin: I was... I was drugged...
Lieutenant: Who drugged you?
Col. Steve Austin: A man in a mask.
Lieutenant: And this masked man, did he ride a white horse?

Kuroda: I had hoped that my enemies would have killed me. There is dishonor in living beyond one's moment.

Col. Steve Austin: Sheriff, I don't want to interfere with your business, but I heard last night you had a report of a UFO.
Sheriff: I didn't know UFO's were a specialty or yours, Colonel?. I thought you tested planes and did all that space stuff.

Oscar: Going through my files again, eh?
Col. Steve Austin: [slightly ashamed] Well, I had nothing to do yesterday afternoon...

Kuroda: We were not to live with our plane gone. My navigator Ioki did what was right. He committed seppuku. Harakiri.
Col. Steve Austin: And you couldn't. So that makes you a coward, is that it?
Kuroda: He earned his way to heaven. But when I saw him die, I could not do it.

Walter: [Steve Austin has just hit a golf ball using his bionic power] You hit that ball into next week!
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, I guess I did kinda catch it on the screws, didn't I? That was a hundred, wasn't it pard?

Oscar: You must have the wrong office, you want the purchasing office, Mr. Le Duc.
Le: We have energy to sell, Mr. Goldman.
Oscar: I see, but you don't, eh...
Le: Cheap, non-polluting, inexhaustible supply. Energy that is capable of powering a... portable laser projector, Mr. Goldman.
[Le Duc now has Oscar's undivided attention]

Big: What's going on, Boss?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I'm not sure, it could be trouble.
Big: Hey, then I can really start earning my money. I'm a good fighter. They don't get up when I get through.
Col. Steve Austin: I appreciate your offer, Frank, but it won't be that kind of trouble. They'll have guns.

Joseph: You did considerable damage to me, Colonel Austin. And now I'm going to do considerable damage to you.

Jay: The HL-10. We rebuild it from scratch. Modern technology can do wonders today.
Col. Steve Austin: Yes, I know...

Col. Steve Austin: I hope you've got an answer for this.
O'Flaherty: Yeah, I've been stealing material from you guys, yes. But only to use as bait. I'm an agent with the O.G.A.
Col. Steve Austin: The what?
O'Flaherty: The O.G.A. Have you ever, you ever heard of the O.G.A?
Col. Steve Austin: Never.
O'Flaherty: I can't help that.
Col. Steve Austin: What's it stand for?
O'Flaherty: I can't tell you, man, it's a secret organization.

General: They say you're going to be the next mayor of Creego County, Mr. Breen.
Breen: Well I've been thinking of trying for it.

Carlos: Forget it man, I gotta move. I got places to go. You know what I mean?
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, like into my car or back into detention. Now you call it.

Col. Steve Austin: The day that I see a murder and don't do anything about it, then this million bucks worth of technology I'm carrying around in my eye isn't worth two cents.

Oscar: Do you have an agent by the name of Clark Templeton O'Flaherty?
McAdams: It's possible.
Oscar: I need to know the truth.
McAdams: Well, then I have to know why.
Oscar: He's accused of stealing secrets from OSI.
McAdams: No, I never heard of the man.
Oscar: Well, let's, uh, cut the professional cop out, hey. He says he's an OGA agent. One of my men is trusting him, Bill.
McAdams: Which one of your men?
Oscar: That's not important.
McAdams: [scoffs] Oh, I see. I'm to name my boys, but you don't name yours.
Oscar: Alright, his name is Steve Austin. Now is O'Flaherty one of your men or isn't?
McAdams: Well, he could be. But you say he was taking OSI secrets.
Oscar: To use as bait to break up a spy ring.
McAdams: Oscar, our men are not authorized to steal from another government agency!
Oscar: [raising his voice] I'm not trying to intimidate your group, Bill! I just want to know, is he, or is he not one of your agents?
McAdams: Alright, O'Flaherty is one of our men. But if he's been stealing secrets from you, Oscar... Well, you know the story. He could be a double agent.

Joe: Listen, Ed, this is really stupid. I don't want you to fly.
Senator: You sound like a broken record, you know that? Will you give me one good reason why I should not fly there myself?
Joe: Let's get the hearing over with first. Why take chances? You're whole career is on the line.
Senator: Joe, you're afraid to fly with me, is that it?
Joe: Are you fit to fly? That's the question.
Senator: Now let go of it. You've been sounding like an old lady ever since that accident. Right now you're convincing Austin that something's wrong here.
[brightens up]
Senator: Joe, go get your bag and get in the airplane!

Ivan: Say lady, how would you like to spend a second honeymoon? Right here. There's nobody around for forty miles.
Marlene: Discipline, Dr. Bekey. You're here as a geologist, not a husband.
Ivan: And you, Dr. Bekey, are a slavedriver.

Col. Steve Austin: [answering a hotel phone in Austria] This is Dr. Wells.
Oscar: Rudy?
Dr. Rudy Wells: Yes.
Oscar: Oscar.
Dr. Rudy Wells: I just left you. Is there something wrong? Is Steve all right?
Oscar: No, Steve's fine. He's right here. Listen, I'm gonna put this call on the speaker.
Col. Steve Austin: Hey, Rudy, how's the Alps?
Dr. Rudy Wells: Beautiful. But you didn't call just to ask me how the Alps are. What's going on?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, Oscar's still a little uneasy about your trip.
Oscar: I've still got that feeling, Rudy. Gut instinct.
Dr. Rudy Wells: You're paranoid?
Oscar: Paranoid? If something should happen to Steve, what are we going to do without you?
Dr. Rudy Wells: After all these years, my alma mater decides to honor me with a doctorate and you try and turn it into a crisis.
Col. Steve Austin: He's jealous. All he ever gets from his alma mater is a bill for union dues.
Dr. Rudy Wells: Look, I'll be back in three days, so why don't you just relax, Oscar? Oh, and Steve?
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah?
Dr. Rudy Wells: A Dr. Lester's been briefed to replace the diode relay in the muscular flexors, unless you want to wait for me to get back.
Col. Steve Austin: No, it's working better today, Rudy. I'll wait.
Oscar: I'm still going to place a call to our office...
Dr. Rudy Wells: Why don't you stop worrying? You're worse than my mother.
Oscar: Okay. Okay!
Dr. Rudy Wells: I'll be back in the lab in three days. I'll talk to you then.
Oscar: Right.
[hangs up the phone]

Thomas: [having just seen Steve Austin move a tree log] You moved that like it didn't take any effort.
Col. Steve Austin: Huh? Oh, I used to do a lot of weight lifting in college.

Officer: Excuse me, Steve this is Cindy Walker. Cindy, this is Steve Aimry.
Col. Steve Austin: My pleasure.
Cindy: Thank you.
Officer: Best R.T.O. in the department.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, I heard her on the radio several times today. You sure look better than you sound.
Cindy: [laughs] Well, we're supposed to sound that way.
Officer: It helps keep the boys minds on their business.

Queng: [aiming his rifle] I wonder if he can escape... a bullet.

Col. Steve Austin: Please don't wrinkle my jacket.
John: Well, oh, if you let me wrinkle your jacket, I'll let you wrinkle my hair.

Col. Steve Austin: Now Carrington told me that he'd always beaten you, ever since school, at everything.
Oscar: That's true.
Col. Steve Austin: Well this time he lost.
Oscar: So did I, pal...

Col. Steve Austin: You know, Oscar, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you. Do you ever have a leisurely meal?
Oscar: Only on weekends, pal, and sometimes not even then.

Col. Steve Austin: It's a very nice place you got here. Very nice. It makes me wonder just how much in debt you are right now.
Trish: In debt?
[giggles]
Trish: That's really funny, Steve. What do you think all this is, poverty? Besides, I happen to be engaged to marry an important diplomat, who's just happens to have millions in gillions stashed away.

Major: How are you?
Col. Steve Austin: [pause] I'm fine.
Major: Lying to a nurse and a fellow pilot is a violation of the rules. But when you are fine, I know a place in Houston that serves a really fantastic diner. Reasonable too.
Col. Steve Austin: Where is this restaurant?
Major: My place.

Col. Steve Austin: How'd they get me?
Violette: Radiation. You set off sensor alarms. There's something different about you. What is it?
Col. Steve Austin: It's my accent.

Oscar: What do you think you're going to get, a short term in the federal penitentiary? Let me tell you something, you have stolen defense secrets. By the time you get out of there you won't be good for anything but a rocking chair and a cane.
Dan: I don't really think I'll be going to prison.
Oscar: Well you're either a dreamer or a certified psychopath.

Victor: She thinks we're fakes.
Oscar: I wish they were.
Victoria: Ooh, very good, Mr. Goldman, but not quite good enough.

Jamie: You know, it might not be so bad being the bride of Frankenstein.
Col. Steve Austin: You thinking about getting married?
Jamie: No, actually, I was thinking eh, it might be kind of nice being bionic.

Susan: Wait a minute. Mr. Goldman in Washington sent you to tell me that my father is missing, right?
Col. Steve Austin: That's right.
Susan: Mr. Austin, are you trying to pick me up?
Col. Steve Austin: No, but...
Susan: Then why don't you go and take a tour of a Moorish Castle, and take Mr. Goldman with you, huh?

Col. Steve Austin: Hey now, wait a minute, Oscar, what you're about to do, that's like hitting a butterfly with a sledgehammer.

Mona: You know my husband says that all these pacific islands have snakes on them. You think there are snakes here?
A.F. Sgt. Roberts: Yes ma'am. Oh, but small ones.
Mona: [momentarily relieved] Oh. How small?
A.F. Sgt. Roberts: Three, four feet.

Oscar: We've ordered the army to seal off the town.
Col. Steve Austin: Well what's the name of the town?
Oscar: A place called Norris.
Col. Steve Austin: Norris? I went to high school 20 miles from there.
Oscar: Steve, will you stay out of this, please?
Col. Steve Austin: But Oscar, I know those people.
Oscar: You're too valuable for this job, besides I got another assignment for you. If I need you, I'll let you know.
Col. Steve Austin: Well fine Oscar, you do that. You can reach me at army headquarters in Norris.

Senator: [having just crash landed a private plane] God knows where we are, but we're alive.
[turns to Steve Austin]
Senator: Well, you alright?
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, everything is peachy senator, just peachy. Except I got this little problem.
Senator: What's that?
Col. Steve Austin: I can't see.

Col. Steve Austin: You sick or something?
Officer: What makes you think that?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, we've been on the street for nearly an hour and I haven't heard one war story.

Garth: Who are you?
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, you mean my name?
Garth: No, no, names are only labels the outside world attaches meanings to. You outran horses. You're strength, you're strength is incredible. Just who are you?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I'm just a man.
Garth: Not an ordinary one.
Col. Steve Austin: In most ways I am.

Thomas: You're rifle, Colonel.
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, no thanks. You carry one, that'll be enough.

Audrey: We really make a super pair, don't we?
Col. Steve Austin: We do sure do.

Col. Steve Austin: You know doctor, when I first met you, your bedside manner did suprise me a little bit. You treat all your patients that way?
Shalon: [laughs] Of course not, but I've been stuck here with those stuffy scientists for two years. You were like a breath of fresh air. Not only attractive and witty, but also bionic. My specialty.

Horace: You're just wastin' your time, them groceries ain't for sale.
Col. Steve Austin: Your sign outside says you sell groceries in here.
Horace: Don't make no difference, them groceries ain't for sale.

Doctor: [about the Linda Wilson robot] Let's see if we can bring it back to life.
Col. Steve Austin: Are you sure you want to?
Doctor: Why?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I've seen one of these things in action. It's not just a tinker toy.
Doctor: [scoffs] Don't worry about a thing.
Col. Steve Austin: I wish you hadn't said that.

Dr. Chris Forbes: Well, thanks for saving my life, but would you mind telling me how you did it?
Col. Steve Austin: Did what?
Dr. Chris Forbes: Jump across the room like that.
Col. Steve Austin: I ate a lot of jumping beans.

Col. Steve Austin: Triscia, you were great.
Trish: I was?
Col. Steve Austin: Wonderful. Now I'm gonna have to ask one more favor.
Trish: How much?
Col. Steve Austin: On the house?
Trish: Ok, for you I'll do it.

Carlos: Hey, what's with you, man? You gonna ride through the slum on a white horse, hand out silver bullets to all the drunks, try to save everybody?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, it seemed to work for the Lone Ranger.

E.J. Haskell: [to Steve] It is physically impossible for you to have gotten here before me!

Barney: Hey, come on, now Steve, don't rush me. I've only got 48 hours to play superman again, I wanna enjoy every minute.

Officer: It's for you, Mr. Goldman. Picked it up on the underground frequency.
Oscar: [reading from card] To Snow White. Sneezy needs taxi. Please wait at curb.

Col. Steve Austin: Why don't you go on home to your family, Bob? I can handle things from here on in.
Bob: [in an immensely pleased and gratefully relieved tone] Well, thanks, Steve! And Merry Christmas!
Col. Steve Austin: [playfully feigning gruffness and clapping Bob companionably on the shoulder] Oh - - bah, humbug!

Oscar: Well, I wish that our E.S.P. spy had a beard, was fifty years old and smoked a pipe.

Col. Steve Austin: Does the saving of one life mean anything to your people?
Minonee: Yes, a great deal.
Col. Steve Austin: Good. Yours is the one we're gonna save.

Dr. Morton Craig: Lock them up in that explosives shed down the road. Stand on guard at a distance. If they try to escape, put a bullet in a case of explosives and blow them up!

Jaime: Why do you suppose Oscar wanted us to meet him here?
Col. Steve Austin: I dunno. It was nice spending the afternoon with you, though.
Jaime: I was just gonna say that.
Col. Steve Austin: You can still say it.

Oscar: You know, pal. I never did realize how special you are. You really are one of a kind. I mean it. I'm not talking about my cyborg plans or Rudy's technology. I guess what I'm trying to say is... it's the kind of man that you are.
Col. Steve Austin: You know what, Oscar? That's - that's very flattering. How 'bout a raise?

Julia: Speaking for myself, I'd do anything I could, to help Mrs. Collins, that I would.

Shalon: You're really very special, Colonel Austin. Are there many more of you?
Col. Steve Austin: ...Yes, there's a whole army of us.
Shalon: [sensors start beeping] Now Colonel, you and I both know that's not true, don't we?

Nuclear: Alright, freeze, mister. Hit the deck! Come on, hit the deck!
Col. Steve Austin: Wait a minute, I'm Colonel Steve Austin.
Nuclear: I don't care if you're Nelson Rockefeller, hit the deck, come on!

Col. Steve Austin: [Steve Austin stops Kuroda from commiting harikiri] You have shown that you know how to die. Now for the sake of your enemies, show me that you know how to live.

Kuroda: I have a gift I hope you will accept.
[presents his thousand stitch belt]
Col. Steve Austin: Kuroda, I can't accept your thousand stitch belt, that represents your life.
Kuroda: It's the only thing left I value. Please accept.

Oscar: I don't believe in mindreading, I never have.
Col. Steve Austin: Oscar, E.S.P. is not mindreading.
Oscar: What is it, then?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, mindreading is something a greasy haired guy with a worn out tuxedo does at the county fair. E.S.P. is different.
Oscar: It isn't to me.
Col. Steve Austin: I don't understand you, Oscar, you're in charge of some of the most far out scientific projects this country's got going. But when it comes to E.S.P. you're head's back in the dark ages.

Oscar: [watching Steve lift the car so they can change the tire] You know, pal, sometimes I forget how useful you are.
Col. Steve Austin: Oscar, would you stop admiring me and change the tire?

Sheriff: This is as far as you go!
[pushes Steve towards a hole]
Col. Steve Austin: I suppose I'll find out what happened to the other troublemakers now, huh?
Sheriff: Well lots of strangers have bad accidents, in this part of the woods
Col. Steve Austin: y-yeah? What kind of accidents?
Kermit: Take a look in the hole, bright boy!
Sheriff: [Steve glances down to see Rattle Snake] Get in the hole, boy!
Col. Steve Austin: Please, fellas! No!
Kermit: You wont have to stay long!
[pushes Steve into the hole]
Col. Steve Austin: Ugh!
[grunts from the fall]
Col. Steve Austin: Aagh... Ow!
[snake bites his leg]
Kermit: Aw! Bit him in the leg!
[Steve grunts in pain as the snake bites again]
Kermit: Oh he's a mean one!
[Kermit smiles]
Kermit: Bit him-Bit him in the other leg!
Sheriff: You can get out of there now, bright boy.
[Steve crawls out of the hole fake limping and groaning]

Joe: [Trish is turning the Golden Pharaoh around] Easy baby, that's our meal ticket.
Trish: I just don't like the way it's looking at me.

Lynda: [looking at her Fembot duplicate] Boy, it's spooky looking at myself.
Doctor: Not only that, do you know she weighs 482 pounds?
Lynda: Well that teaches me one thing.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah? What's that?
Lynda: I'd better go on a diet.

Col. Steve Austin: [the robot posting as Fred Sloan has driven a car off the road] Well, that was fun.
Robot: I'm sorry Steve, I got a cramp in my foot.

Damon: Why don't you look in my ear, there's a cannon in there.

Murdoch: [to Steve] That's a pretty good rope-escape. You're gonna have to show me that some time.

Oscar: You know, I didn't know that you were interested in archaeology, I thought you were just going along to keep me company, ride your dune buggy.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, what really interests me is watching Oscar Goldman dig holes in the ground.

Col. Steve Austin: This list looks likes somebody is building an atomic bomb.
Oscar: We all came to the same conclusion just this morning.
Col. Steve Austin: We don't know who stole the items, and we don't know why, but you and I both know, when people do this, there's a lot of money involved.

Lt. Jan Simmons: I never thought I'd be sad to see the world's biggest male chauvinist leave. Can't you stay and finish school?
Prince: With my prime minister in jail, my country needs me. Perhaps next year.

Niles: I don't understand you. With your strenght and speed, you could have just beat it out of here, saved your own tail.
Col. Steve Austin: I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Garth: Risking ones life for a countryman is a rare gift. Please, do not take it away from me.

Oscar: What do you think?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, If I didn't know better, I would think a bionic man came through here.
Oscar: You haven't gone into business for yourself, have you, pal?
Col. Steve Austin: That's not funny, Oscar, and you know it.

Boris: Alex... have a good life, my friend!

Store: Well by golly, it appears to me you're building nothing short of a robot.
Peggy: That's right, how did you know?

Col. Steve Austin: [on payphone] So Banner could be going to him for something else, treatments maybe.
Oscar: [on phone in his office] Doctors have office hours, pal.
Col. Steve Austin: I know that, Oscar but what if, what if Banner had a disorder he wanted kept scecret?
Oscar: No good, Steve, I've checked his health records personally. There's nothing that indicates or hints of any disorder.
Col. Steve Austin: Records don't always tell it like it is, Oscar, you should know that better than anybody.

Kelly: What are you doing here? Jeremy told me he sent you to work on the West Ridge.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, well, eh, I finished up on the trees he showed me and I wasn't sure which ones he wanted to cut next.
Kelly: Probably some of the ones with branches on them.
Col. Steve Austin: Right.

Doctor: We'll try to safe her, but there's only so much we can do. Maybe someday we'll be able to repair broken bodies like hers.

Girl: Boy, Jaime's the most important person that ever came out of our town. Except for that astronaut guy.

General: We don't make deals with terrorists, Colonel Austin. We imprison them, or execute them.
Col. Steve Austin: I won't let you execute his hostage!

Oscar: [on phone] Steve, nobody, nobody is going to aprove the outlay of billions of dollars for construction and equipment on land that's on an earthquake's fault.
Col. Steve Austin: [in public phone booth] Tell that to the people in San Francisco, pal.

E.J. Haskell: I hate to spoil your fun, but the Indians say that any man that can outrun a horse and overpower a beast, is a demon.
Col. Steve Austin: I know what the Indians say, trouble is I don't know why they keep on saying it. Yeah, really, it makes me mad.
[E.J. starts giggling]
Col. Steve Austin: You know, what I'd really like to know is which of them indians is saying it.
[more giggles from E.J]

Col. Steve Austin: Collins, where would he keep such a notebook?
Will: Well, normally in his safe, but then, he hasn't been too normal lately.

O'Flaherty: [pointing a gun at Steve] Well, old buddy, looks like I'm gonna have to find me a new handball partner.

Dr. Rudy Wells: Jaime's body is producing massive amounts of white bloodcells to fight off something foreign in her system.
Col. Steve Austin: You mean she has an infection?
Dr. Rudy Wells: No, it's her bionics, Steve. Jaime's body is rejecting her bionics.

Apploy: I am delighted to welcome you to our colony, especially since you are a fellow space traveler.
Col. Steve Austin: Then you are really not from Earth?
Apploy: As Shalon may have indicated to you, we come from a rather... eh, distant place.
Faler: Distant to say the least.

Peggy: He wants me to help you in any way I can.
Col. Steve Austin: Good. first off, you can start by giving me your home adress and telephone number.
Peggy: Oh... is that the routine here?

Col. Steve Austin: [referring to Sasquatch] Have you made others like him?
Shalon: No, he's my baby.

Col. Steve Austin: Could you use another hand?
Kelly: Are you kidding? If I had you around full time, I wouldn't need anybody else.
Oscar: You can have him part of the time, that's all.
Kelly: Well that's a whole lot better than nothing.

Col. Steve Austin: Not too big in the brain department, are you George?
Dr. Randolph: Fortunately, that's my department.

Quail: I find that... wording unfortunate, but the answer is yes, I plan to kill them.

Major: [under hospital-room arrest, and seeing Steve at the outside window] What are you doing here?
Col. Steve Austin: I came to serenade ya.
Major: Do you know "Melancholy Baby"?

Col. Steve Austin: [about to show Oscar a card trick] At no time will my fingers leave my hands.

Col. Steve Austin: [pokes head around coor] Arey you decent?
Jaime: [lying on bed] Go away.
Col. Steve Austin: What?
Jaime: I'm on strike today and there's no work.

Col. Steve Austin: You sure you ok?
Dr. Rudy Wells: [weak but annoyed] I'm a doctor, aren't I? Just let me lie here till the dizziness passes. You want a medical name for it?

Garth: You know, you're questions are much deeper than your search for a missing airplane. Just what are you looking for?
Col. Steve Austin: My father.

Gavern: [watching on monitors of what the Robot picks up] The reception's quite good, considering the distance.
Dr. Dolenz: Naturally, we're bouncing off the satellite I leased.

Ed: Johnny... still not used to that face!
Col. Steve Austin: [posing as John Dine] Well, neither am I.

Col. Steve Austin: Well Oscar, you sure you don't wanna lumber along with us?
Oscar: You're barking up the wrong tree, pal.

Col. Steve Austin: [after Jaime sees him glance at an attractive nurse] What's the matter?
Jamie: Well, I guess you won't be able to look at me like that, will you, knowing how much of me isn't me?
Col. Steve Austin: I suppose you feel the same way every time you look at me.
Jamie: Well, what are you talking about, I love you! I mean, I don't care if you're bionic or n-
[realizes]
Jamie: Game point.
Col. Steve Austin: Besides, she was bow-legged.

Jamie: What exactly is it that Uncle Sam expects in return?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I guess he wants you to be part of the team.
Jamie: How many people are on the team?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, Oscar's the head coach, and, so far, I'm the only player.

Col. Steve Austin: That net'll never hold him.
Hope: I had that net made strong enough to hold King Kong.

Col. Steve Austin: [Nicole is tending David] What are is chances?
David: His chances... his chances are not good.

Margaret: [on speakerphone] It's Mrs. Madden.
Colonel: [sighs deeply] What is it this time?
Margaret: She says she's heard that we have a Chinese pilot being trained here. She thinks he's a spy.
Colonel: Hmpf. Spies, eh? Well, tell the old bat that the only spying the gang does is in the centerfold girly magazines.

Col. Steve Austin: Better not try it. Willis might not like his number one boy getting blown up.
Sheriff: How did you know?
Col. Steve Austin: I saw it in a movie once.
Sheriff: But it's dark.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, it was dark in the movie, too.

Jaime: [on phone in classroom] You're office told me that you and Steve were in the California Mountains. I, eh, what are you doing, fishing?
Oscar: [on other line, on location] I wish we were fishing.

Peggy: Oh dear, you're *the* colonel Austin?
Col. Steve Austin: I'm the only one I know.
Peggy: Oh, golly.

Oscar: Steve, I've been coming to the fights here for years, this is some of the best action I've ever seen. Oh, you two don't know each other. Steve Austin, Marcus Grayson.
Col. Steve Austin: How ya doin', Marcus?
Marcus: I can't complain, Steve.

Officer: [facing a young hoodlum wielding a 2x4] Now, now - - you'll get splinters doing that.

Barbara: Oh Steve, you have a wonderful way of making things easier... and harder at the same time.

Lorin: How did you recognize him in the dark like that?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I eat a lot of carrots.
[Oscar almost chokes on his champagne]

Rick: You gotta trust me. This is a hand picked crew, all guys I met in prison and they're beautiful.

Kuroda: What kind of a devil are you?
Col. Steve Austin: I'm a man, just like you. You've seen me bleed, the same way.
Col. Steve Austin: [indicating Austin's bionic leg] There's no blood in that leg.

Col. Steve Austin: Well how does it look?
Oscar: Quinten's ready to make a deal.
Col. Steve Austin: No, that's not what I meant.
Oscar: Well frankly pal, I like you better with the beard.
Col. Steve Austin: I didn't, I didn't mean the beard, I meant the sign.
Oscar: Oh, the sign? Oh, yeah. Oh the sign, yeah, the sign looks good. Why?

Col. Steve Austin: I don't have time to give you another demonstration, I got a bicycle to fix.

Josh: Man, nobody can run that fast. What are you anyway?
Col. Steve Austin: What's your security clearance?
Josh: What... what's that got to do with it? I'm a five.
Col. Steve Austin: Sorry, I'm classified six.

Col. Steve Austin: Look, Lingstrom, there's a job to be done. If you wanna tackle it, fine. If you don't, I'll put you right back in the can.
Niles: All right...
[pants]
Niles: But under one condition: if I'm gonna get myself blown up, you are gonna be in there with me
Col. Steve Austin: [unflinching] Where else do you think I'd be?

Oscar: I've got to talk to you, we've got a problem.
Col. Steve Austin: Oscar, you've always have a problem. I'd like to get my wedding planned.

Uri: Where is your boyfriend, your big American hero?
Tanya: Uri, go play with your dumbbells.
Uri: You would not have spoken to me like this before you met the American.
Tanya: You are silly fool.
Col. Steve Austin: Am I interrupting something?

Julia: Are you the boss of a lot of men in America?
Col. Steve Austin: No, just one: me.

Col. Steve Austin: Well, I'm sure you heard what happened to the still and car and the tanker truck while I was in jail.
Charles: Yes. Sounds like you have an army behind you.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, let's just say I got a strong right arm.

Col. Steve Austin: What's your security clearance?
Peggy: I'm a three.
Col. Steve Austin: You're about to be jumped to a six.

Col. Steve Austin: Audrey, stop messing around in my mind.

Helen: Are you alright, Steve?
Col. Steve Austin: Oh... sure, I'm fine.
Helen: Now you know I can always tell when you're fibbing.

Connors: [Steve Austin has stopped a runnaway mine car using his bionic strenght] How, how did you do that?
Col. Steve Austin: It runs in the family.
Connors: [panting] Thanks...
Col. Steve Austin: Any time, pretty boy.

Oscar: You could have made this look a little more like a legitimate government project.
MacGregor: We brought this bunch of hoodlum deadbeats here to get gold out of this mountain quickly and quietly period. We're not paying them to try to look legitimate.

Oscar: You remember what I said to you about a target on your back?
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah.
Oscar: Well that lady is loading the rifle, pal.

Hopper: I would really have preferred to have seen him spend the rest of his life behind bars, but, I don't know, to be shot by the police as a fugitive, well... I'm not complaining

Mona: My husband's a pilot, you know. He warned me not to fly this time of year. Oh, I should have listened to him, he's always right!

Lieutenant: Do you really expect me to swallow that? That there's an exact duplicate of Colonel Austin's hand with his fingerprints on it?
Oscar: That's right.
Lieutenant: And that someone stole and used it to put Austin's prints on the murder weapon?
Oscar: Exactly.

Col. Steve Austin: Well that's just the thing, you can't argue with a woman.
Madame: What's hard about it? It's very easy to argue with me. Avni, tell him how easy it is to argue with me.
Dr. Av Ni: Arguing is easy, winning is hard.

Col. Steve Austin: How many times do I gotta prove to you that I'm a lumberjack?
Jeremy: [sighs] You're still working on the first time.

Col. Steve Austin: I've never liked women who handle guns, but you're something else.
Julia: I don't understand.
Col. Steve Austin: If we come out of this in one piece, I'd like you to come to America with me. I'll show you Washington, New York, the West Coast.
Julia: It's a date, then.

Col. Steve Austin: [pretending to be gifted at ESP] I just saw... a bottle of wine, flickering candles and an incredibly beautiful sunset.
Susan: I really like your visions.
Col. Steve Austin: You do?
[she nods]
Col. Steve Austin: Well, let's go.

Oscar: You'll never guess who called me today.
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, who?
Oscar: Dr. Emil Losey.
Col. Steve Austin: Losey, hey, how is that old guy?
Oscar: Oh, he's fine. I miss him. Especially his genius.

Brenner: I don't like machines telling me something can't be done.

Breezy: [Austin, posing as Dine faces Breezy in the boxing ring] You'r a dead man, Dine.
Col. Steve Austin: You're gonna take me to your boss.
Breezy: No, I'll mess up that brand new face of yours... again. And then I'm gonna snuff you out.
Col. Steve Austin: Any time you're ready.

Col. Steve Austin: Tell me something...
Dr. Rudy Wells: What?
Col. Steve Austin: And I want it straight... will I ever be able to run sixty miles per hour again?

Joseph: Colonel Steven Austin. I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to see you face to face again.
Col. Steve Austin: Have we met before?

Col. Steve Austin: You know, between your footcramp and this flat tire, we're never gonna make it.

TV: The Six Million Dollar Man, a top-secret government weapon until a lady reporter digs for the facts behind his incredible powers. Steve Austin's next assignment, The Peeping Blonde.

Alexsei: I want to see Andre.
Guard: Are you expected?
Alexsei: No, but I must see him.
Guard: He sees no one without an appointment.
Alexsei: He will see me!

Dr. Stanley Bacon: [examining an unconscious Steve Austin] A pulse on one side only?

Charles: She took some more film on her own?
Billy: Yes Mr. Colby, but eh, she said it was very important.
Charles: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's always important. I mean we got miles of film that's she's taken of pigeons and, and clouds, and all that was important, wasn't it?
Billy: Yes, sir.
Charles: You know when I was a Washington correspondent, I didn't use as much film on the Presidents inauguration as she wasted last week on sandcastles.

Niles: [to Doug] Now look, I'm not interested in your nickel and dime philosophy or history lessons. Man, you must bore that kid o' yours stiff.

Col. Steve Austin: Hey, are you always the reporter? I mean don't you ever take time to enjoy life, or to does, eh, your work take priority over everything else?
Victoria: I have the unique capability of doing both. Like now, I'm enjoying both.

Carlos: Oh Steve, my stomach is pushed into my throat.
Col. Steve Austin: Just relax, it'll go back in place.

[last lines]
[upon seeing Steve's photo in the newspaper]
Joseph: [laughs] So, now I know who you are. Colonel Steve Austin. Wonderful! Wonderful. And you're getting married. Well... you can expect a very special wedding present from me.

Oscar: [helping the rubber-suited diver in through the entry-hatch, and assuming that it's Steve, but then staring in slightly wary surprise when the diver takes off its mask and reveals the head of Violette] Who are YOU?
Col. Steve Austin: [emerging from the hatchway behind Violette, and smiling at Oscar in an amused mischievous "surprised you!" manner] Oh, a little mermaid I picked up along the way... she swims for Interpol.
Oscar: [recovering from his surprise and remembering his manners, so he removes his coat to wrap around Violette] Well... welcome!

Logan: Clumsy, clumsy. You don't dump bodies in the ocean unless you want them to be found.

Sister: Are you the colonel Austin who walked on the moon?
Col. Steve Austin: That's right.
Sister: [to Sister Terese] Get my camera!

Col. Steve Austin: Space... it really is the final frontier: I can't go.

Col. Steve Austin: You really like her don't you?
Helen: Oh, I've like that sweet girl ever since your day in the third grade. Remember, she helped you come home because you got sick from eating all that food?
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, but I never told you which sweet little girl dared me to eat all that food.

Countess: [Referring to the dress she just put on] Like it?
Col. Steve Austin: Oh, it's beautiful. Great camouflage for your character.

Audrey: You're holding Steve prisoner!
Mark: I was wondering how soon you'd pick that up.
[laughs]
Mark: You are truly a marvel.

Col. Steve Austin: You know Oscar, you tell that joke about three times a week.
Robot: It's the only one I know.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, but if you learned another one, then you'd have two.

Oscar: Well, there it is - the probe taking its last bath.
Col. Steve Austin: That acid's really doing a job on it, isn't it?
Oscar: Reminds me of a prehistoric monster - dangerous while it's alive and still looking lethal while it goes through its death throes.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, well, I just hope it's really dying. I've seen enough of that thing.
Oscar: So have I.

Kuroda: [takes something from his bag] Thousand stitch belt. When I joined kamikaze, my mother went into the streets and asked people who passed by to put one knot.
Col. Steve Austin: I've heard of it. One knot, one prayer.
Kuroda: A thousand prayers to carry with you until you die.

Col. Steve Austin: The file wasn't stolen from the room, the ink was stolen from the paper.

Prince: I will not allow you to take my place in the air. I came here to fly!
Col. Steve Austin: That's right, but not to die.

Peggy: My mother is the only person in the whole world who loves me completely. And she'll be broken hearted when she learns about you.
Gene: Learns what about me?
Peggy: That you're a cad. Perhaps the caddiest cad I have ever met.

Col. Steve Austin: I don't know. It's... it's like there's something there. I can almost remember, but not quite... it's frustrating.
Jamie: Tell me about it. I'm the one who wrote the book on partial memory, remember?

Oscar: [Oscar has been shot] Well, how am I doing, doctor?
Oscar: Well, you're pretty tough.
Oscar: Didn't know I had all that... blood in me.

Bo: Get him outta here. I'm tired of his jaw jackin'

Michael: I mean Jaime's showing all the symptoms of the classic patient/doctor infatuation - doctor saves woman's life, woman looks at doctor with amazement, admiration; a kind of desire...
Col. Steve Austin: And how does doctor look at woman?
Michael: Listen, Steve... I'd be a liar if I didn't tell you that I find Jaime incredibly attractive. Her mind is quick, her wit is sharp, and she's a lovely woman.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, I know.

Dr. Chris Forbes: Oscar Goldman has a reputation for getting things done. Have you known him long?
Col. Steve Austin: About a year.
Dr. Chris Forbes: Is he your boss?
Col. Steve Austin: He thinks so.
[pause]
Col. Steve Austin: No, that's not fair, I... I like Oscar. He's bright, he's straight, and underneath that shell of red tape, he's even got a heart.

Col. Steve Austin: Open your mouth, Callahan.
Peggy: I wll not.
Col. Steve Austin: Look, if you wanna prove that your fiancée is innocent, open your mouth.

Barney: Here it is: la pièce de résistance. A pinnacle of my achievements.
[pulls out a piece of cloth, straightens it]
Col. Steve Austin: A bulletproof tablecloth?
Barney: No, no, no, no, a bulletproof vest! Look, forget the material just look: thin as a waver, light as a feather. This won't restrict your movements like a regular bulletproof vest. But it'll stop an eigh millimeter shell and give you ten cents change.