Top 50 Quotes From Mozzie

Peter: Who are you?
Mozzie: I'm the neighbor. Dan-te Hversham. Dante Hversham.
Peter: And you're dating June?
Mozzie: Courting. Courting. What can I say, she likes a little cream in her coffee.
Peter: You really want to keep this up?
Neal: No, I don't.

Neal: The last person who mixed these paints was Picasso. Taking from the masters.
Mozzie: Ah, Picasso was a communist, he'd be happy to share.

Neal: Let's cut it
[Neal's anklet]
Neal: off. Wanna do the honors?
Mozzie: I feel like I should make a toast or something. "We feel free when we escape, even if it be but from the frying pan into the fire." Eric Hoffer.
[Mozzie cuts Neal's anklet]
Mozzie: No sirens.
Neal: Into the fire.

Neal: I offered her a trade. The location of the diamond in exchange for Hagen's blackmail video.
Mozzie: We don't have the location, Neal. What we have is a nearly indecipherable equation locked up in the steel trap of my mind.
Neal: But she doesn't know that.
Mozzie: Hand me the Gobi. I'm stress eating.
Neal: It was the only way to draw her out.
Mozzie: So best case scenario, you meet with her, she brings the video. The Feds show up, arrest her, and find the video.
Neal: All the blackmail Hagen has on me is exposed, and I go back to jail.
Mozzie: That's the best case scenario.
Neal: Worst case, she discovers I don't know the location, realizes I'm trying to pull one over on her.
Mozzie: And I find myself reciting Proust over your grave.
Neal: Looks like I need to find a third scenario.
Mozzie: Yeah.
Neal: [Cell phone beeps]
[Text: Walker and Church abandoned hotel. 10 pm alone this time]
Mozzie: Should I be brushing up on my Proust?

Mozzie: Tell him you'll cut off his hands if he doesn't pay up.
Clinton: What?
Mozzie: It's the Detroit mob, not the Girl Scouts.

David: [holding Mozzie at gunpoint] Get your hands up. You're not going anywhere.
Mozzie: Uh, tell that to Emil Berliner.
[remotely activates a gramophone, distracting Siegel, and runs off]

Peter: Mozzie, two steps to your left, hold your arms up as high as you can.
Mozzie: Is that a short joke?
Peter: It is now.

Mozzie: [Neal is picking up Satchmo to dog-sit] Wait, the suit actually gave you access to his house?
Neal: Yes, Moz.
Mozzie: Unwise. We should teach him a lesson. I'm thinking micro-cam in a lampshade. He'll find it, of course, but that's the point.
Neal: We're picking up Satchmo and we're leaving, all right?
Mozzie: Fine. I don't see why you'd want to pass up a prime opportunity such as this, but whatever. Whoa! Seriously? Boxed wine? We got to get out of here.

Mozzie: [to Neal and Peter] Somebody's trying to kill me.
Peter: What? Why am I not surprised?

Peter: Where did you come from?
Mozzie: Fourty-five years ago an enigma gave a paradox a very special hug.

Mozzie: Suit.
Mozzie: Le Suit.

Mozzie: Mozzie: If the Feds can't hear us, this may turn into the last 10 minutes of a Tarantino film
Neal: Neal: If they could hear us, they'd be here already.
Mozzie: Mozzie: Yeah, and we die in a slow-motion hail of bullets while Nancy Sinatra plays ironically in the background.
Neal: Neal: All right, don't zip up your boots yet, Nancy.

Neal: We've got a problem.
Mozzie: I think we should maybe copyright that phrase.

Mozzie: Behind every worst case scenario there is a worse, worst case scenario.
Neal: Is there a child somewhere whose balloon you need to pop?

Mozzie: [about the charity representative Neal is meeting] Already I don't trust this woman.
Neal: Why, because she drove here?
Mozzie: A New Yorker who does not take the subway is not a New Yorker you can trust.
Neal: I don't take the subway.
Mozzie: Precisely.
Neal: She left her briefcase in the back. All right, Mozz, I need a favor. Break into her car.
Mozzie: That's not so much a favor as a truly horrible idea. It's one o'clock in the afternoon. There's a reason most crimes happen at night: people can't see you!

Sara: [knocks on door to Neal's apartment] Neal ?
[door opens revealing Mozzie]
Sara: Not Neal.
Mozzie: And you're not a strawberry blonde with a penchant for Voltaire. I guess we're both disappointed.

Peter: [holds up a DVD] Tales of the FBI's classified files.
Sara: Peter figured out why Adler's so interested in Wagner.
Mozzie: Excellent. Top secret movies! I'll make popcorn.
Neal: Butter, please.

Mozzie: Neal, we are conmen, grifters, mountebanks, flim-flammers. We have to keep our skills sharp.
Neal: Flim-flammers?
Mozzie: See, I'm already becoming a dinosaur. Look, I get that you have to play Boy Scout until your commutation hearing, but you are seriously hindering my primal instinct.
Neal: I don't think a few more weeks will render you extinct, winosaurus.

Mozzie: Okay. So. Fowler wants the music box, let's give it to him. Where is it?
Neal: I don't have it.
Mozzie: What? You told everyone you had it.
Neal: I never told anyone. Everyone assumed I took it and I never corrected them.
Mozzie: It did make you appear... superhuman.
Neal: Image is everything.

Mozzie: I have procured our getaway vehicle.
[reveals small model of a twin-prop airplane]
Mozzie: . Voilà, behold. The 400 series Twin Otter.
Neal: Is it big enough?
Mozzie: Think of it as a Kardashian. What it lacks in refinement, it makes up for in cargo space.

[Peter and Elizabeth are renewing their wedding vows]
Neal: Preacher's here.
Peter: That was fast.
Mozzie: Sorry I'm late.
Peter: Don't tell me he's been ordained.
Neal: Twice.
Peter: Tax dodge?
Mozzie: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, like I pay taxes.

Mozzie: Suit, we have a code red.
Peter: Now is not the time, Mozzie.
Mozzie: It's a dark day when I turn towards the system instead of recoiling.
Peter: Just spit it out.
Mozzie: Remember when you asked me to tell you if Neal was gonna do something stupid? Well, I regretfully report that... he's out of his anklet.
Peter: Damn it!
Mozzie: But that's not the stupid part. He's got a gun.

Mozzie: Fellow ornithologist?
Bertie: What kind of bird you watching?
Mozzie: The kind that steals nest and flies south real fast.

Mozzie: Remember Jimmy Dimako? The feds had his anklet set at 22 feet. He had to take a shower with one foot out of the tub.

Peter: What are you, gonna carry him?
[after Mozzie says he'll carry Neal who is passed out]
Mozzie: I'll have you know I've been doing a lot of wrist curls.

Mozzie: Oh, I'm under strict doctor's orders to avoid all manual labor.

Peter: Moz, the US government is Not conducting mind control experiments
Mozzie: Hah! That's what they Made you think

Mozzie: She took it back to the sheagles nest.

Mozzie: [Peter hears an intruder at the back door and approaches it with his gun drawn] Don't shoot! I'm armed only with comfort food.
Peter: Mozzie, what the hell are you doing here?
Mozzie: Mrs. Suit asked me to make sure you eat something not made out of green clovers and purple horseshoes. Less magically delicious.

Neal: The model boats in Dobbs' library - they all had women's names.
Mozzie: Yeah, there was... Claudia, Annette, Adele.
Neal: Esmeralda, Isabella
Peter: [sings] Isabella, I can tell - a, Esmeralda find Adele - a
Neal: Peter, this is not the time.
Mozzie: What?
Peter: [still singing] Mirabella so compella... was there a Mirabella?
Neal: Yeah.
Peter: [sings] Rob's fair ladies!
Mozzie: Did he get into the rum?
Neal: I don't know.
Peter: These were the names of Dobbs' boats?
Neal: Yeah, how did you know that?
Mozzie: Who cares. Why did you just defile a nursery rhyme?
Peter: Forget the boat. I think I have a way to get you back to New York.

Mozzie: Things were so much simpler when she just vanished; now I have to hide for the remainder of my natural life.
Neal: Your natural life is constituted primarily of hiding.
Mozzie: Exactly. I don't need any supplemental hiding.

Mozzie: Seriously? Gasoline and Styrofoam? Don't you think homemade napalm is a bit vulgar for Teddy's final au revoir?
Neal: You said you wanted a loud boom, Moz. Beggars can't be choosers.
Mozzie: Oh, common misconception. If you had spent any significant time beggaring.
Neal: Really?
Mozzie: Fine. Napalm, but I will remember this next time we fake your death.
Neal: Fair enough.

Elizabeth: [Moz is sweeping the Burke's house for bugs] So, um, you sure he won't try anything?
Neal: Do you have any rare paintings or coins?
Elizabeth: No.
Neal: Then you'll be okay.
Mozzie: [offscreen] Is this Gorham silverware? It's rather unique.
Neal: Maybe you should keep an eye on him.
Elizabeth: Yeah.

Mozzie: You know, I resent your judgement and your misguided misunderstanding of things you do not understand!

Mozzie: Widows fall into two categories; the bereaved and the relieved.

Mozzie: You know the worst thing about art forgery? You can't take credit for your work.

Neal: How much longer are you staying here?
Mozzie: Just until I get myself onto some financial secure footing. Okay if I air-dry on the terrace?
Neal: No, Moz. Tell me how I can help?
Mozzie: Big Brother burned through all my resources; no safe houses, no capital. What's worst - the Federal Bureau of Invasion has confined you to this impenetrable dog pound.
Neal: It's my apartment.
Mozzie: A sublimely spacious cell.
Neal: Does that make you my cell mate?
Mozzie: I prefer the term "miss incarcerated"
Neal: That sounds like you just won a prison pagent.
Mozzie: A: I could. B: I'll think of a better term.

Mozzie: Babies in baskets rarely arrive with birth certificates. I was no exception. I was homeless, nameless, purposeless.
Neal: Histrionic.
Mozzie: You'll never really understand the plight of the orphaned, not truly.

Mozzie: The history of cryptography - oddly cryptic.
Neal: Any luck finding out what type of code this is?
Mozzie: I ve ruled out transpositions and Caesar shifts. Oh, and Sudoku and KenKen.
Neal: Well, in a happy accident, you may have proven the Riemann hypothesis.
Mozzie: The only thing I ve proven is that we need help. I ve studied every pattern, every symbol. I can only conclude that it is of alien origin.
Neal: I think you're right.
Mozzie: Aha! Finally, you ve come around.
Neal: I think you're right. We need help.
Mozzie: Oh. Well, I do know a monk in Berlin who dabbles in quantum mechanics.
Neal: You think Hagen's using monks?
Mozzie: I think Hagen is using you. And me. The only chance we have of getting a leg up on him is by deciphering the Codex first. Until then - It s ticking clocks and phone calls.

Mozzie: I hear she's spicy.
Neal: What does that mean?
Mozzie: I don't know. Not all of my advice is helpful.

Peter: I don't trust you touching my wires.
Mozzie: Oh, I wouldn't either.

Mozzie: For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about Sara. She has an infectious joie de vivre, and she looks terrific in pantsuits.
Neal: Promise me you'll never speak at my funeral.

Mozzie: Your timing is impeccable, J. Edgar.
Peter: [Sees Mozzie is dressed head to toe in a Fighter Pilot costume] Sorry, Amelia.

Homeless: Are you wanna them mole people?
[as Mozzie prepares to go down a sewer hole he has just opened]
Mozzie: I'm their leader.

Neal: You're being paranoid.
Mozzie: Paranioa is a skill; the secret to longevity.

[In order to break into a hospital, Neal is pretending to be a doctor bringing in Mozzie, a mental patient]
Mozzie: I promise, I will never even think about going up in a tall building again. Oh God. Please don't let me die.
Neal: Hi, I'm here to drop off a patient.
Mozzie: Fists with your toes.
Registered: Uh, mental health services doesn't have anyone scheduled to come in today.
Mozzie: Let's see you take this under advisement, Jerkweed!
Neal: Right, they wouldn't have said anything. Um... this is a bit sensitive. The mayor asked for it to be done quietly. It's his nephew. I can't exactly give you his name, but he thinks he's...
Mozzie: YIPPEE KAI-YAI, MOTHER...
Neal: BRUCE! Bruce!
Mozzie: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans.
Neal: You've gotta get him in to see Dr. Westlake right away.
Registered: I'll ring him now.
[reaches for phone]
Neal: Oh! Wait, wait, hold on. If my patient sees you making a call, he might get upset, he might think you're alerting the bad guys. I'll just take him to Dr. Westlake myself. It's
[looks at list on wall]
Neal: room 207, right?
Registered: Right.
Neal: Right.
[to Mozzie]
Neal: On your feet, Bruce.
[to nurse]
Neal: Thank you.
Mozzie: [to nurse] Welcome to the party, pal!

Mozzie: Get a room!
Sara: We are in a room!
Neal: MY room!

Mozzie: This isn't your fight.
Neal: No, it's not. But you are my friend.

Neal: Stay calm.
Mozzie: Stay calm? I'm hours away from palming St. Peter a twenty to get passed the gate!

Mozzie: Neal...
Clinton: Peter...
Neal: Mozz...
Peter: Jones!