The Best Old Jewish Man Quotes

Cletus: We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.

Nurse: Let me explain from behind this cage. Now, your pills have become very expensive and no one could give a rat's ass about you. So after a lot of thought, we decided to let you go cold turkey. For those of you who will survive the night, we'll be having waffles.
Jasper: Ooh waffles!
Grampa: I didn't die in World War II just to be pushed around by some pill-hoarding hussy! I'm gonna fight this thing!
Old: Agh, he's crazy, but what are you gonna do? He's young.

Cletus: Brandine, what are you doing here? You're suppose to be in Iraq stopping 9/11.