The Best Purser Watkins Quotes

Purser: And, uh, Lieutenant, that's a boat.
Lt. Columbo: Oh, that's a... and... To hell with it.

Purser: Lieutenant Columbo? The Captain would like to see you right away.
Lt. Columbo: The Captain? To see me? It's not about my wife, is it? I mean... she likes to have a good time, sometimes she gets carried away...
Purser: It's not about your wife, sir.