The Best Russell Jackson Quotes

Russell: Sam Evans isn't just stealing our friends; he's snatching our lunch money and kissing our girlfriends.

Russell: [Gesturing to a large briefcase] This is the football. It's a remote device that can authorize a nuclear attack in the unlikely event that we are required to do that.
[a Colonel hands Elizabeth a small card]
Russell: This is the biscuit. It's an authenticator card containing all the launching codes. That stays with you. The football stays with the Colonel who's never far away.
Elizabeth: [Shakes the Colonel's hand] Thank you, Colonel. I hope we never work together.
Colonel: My hope as well, Ma'am.

Elizabeth: Can you just call? Why do you never call?
Russell: You mind telling me how some lunatic-fringe Bible camp just turned into a flaming pile of crap?

Russell: If it's any consolation, that's not how the President sees it. He thinks you saved his ass. Told me to tell you that.
Elizabeth: Were you ? Going to tell me that ?
Russell: I haven't decided.

Stephanie: [explaining her desire to attend an Ivy League law school for the sake of doing non-profit, social-cause work] To do good you have to *be* good... I mean, maybe the best? The bad guys, they have all the help they need. But regular people who just need help? They... they have to settle for whoever they can get and usually it's no and...
Russell: Okay. I'm going to give you a piece of advice, and I want you to listen closely 'cause you won't hear it from your parents, Stephanie McCord.
Stephanie: Okay.
Russell: If you want to do good...
[breaths in audibly; sighs]
Russell: you've got to be prepared to do bad. Okay? To be canny and watchful and mean, so *when* the bad guys come, you know just where to stick the knife, 'cause it is a fight to the death, and that is the *only language* they understand.
Stephanie: I don't believe that.
Russell: [sighs] You will.

Russell: Elizabeth, you know the Chief Justice.
Chief: Madam Secretary.
Elizabeth: Yes, I actually took your constitutional law class at UVA.
[pauses then whispers]
Elizabeth: I got an A.
Chief: [Whispering back] I remember.

Russell: [waiting in her office] You want to tell me how those kids got released?
Elizabeth: I guess the Syrians saw the error of their ways.
Russell: So that would be a "no."
Elizabeth: I got the president to sign off.
Russell: How could you do that without my knowledge?
Elizabeth: I, I don't know. By blatantly circumnavigating your authority?
Russell: You'd better learn how to work with me instead of around me.
Elizabeth: My first choice, as well. I used your stylist, didn't I?

Russell: Sometimes democracy just blows.

Theodore: [about to take the oath of office to become Acting President] Oh, all right, right. The president will come back. I mean, he survived one assassination attempt. He's hard to kill.
Elizabeth: What do you mean, Senator?
Theodore: What do you think I mean? Talking about that Charles Manson lady. Tried to shoot him.
Elizabeth: Well, that was President Ford.
Theodore: Ah. Of course, you're right. I meant Hinckley. Where do I sign?
Elizabeth: Um... actually, Senator, Mm-hmm? I-I believe it is also protocol... you have to state the full name of the current President. For the record.
Theodore: Of course. Sure. Ronald Wilson Reagan.
Russell: I'm sorry. Could we ask the senator to step outside? Just for a moment, while we prepare? Is that all right?
Theodore: That's fine.
Russell: Thank you.
Theodore: Sure.
Russell: [whispers] What the hell?
Aide: Senator Gates had a series of mini strokes a few months ago, but we are working diligently to get him through his final term. He has his good days and his bad days.
Russell: But basically, he's incompetent?
Aide: To take the oath of office for President? Probably.
Russell: Then I think we have to go to the next in line.
Attorney: That would be the Secretary of State.