The Best Taylor Atelian Quotes

God: I hereby grant you my powers to change all of womankind. Beginning now.
[Snaps his fingers]
Jim: That's it? That's your thing, you just snap?
God: Just remember, you change one woman, you change them all. Forever.
Jim: [laughs] Giant boobs on all of them!
Ruby: [Ruby and Gracie come downstairs, with giant boobs. They get their school bags, and leave] Bye daddy!
Jim: [Shocked] Do-over! I get a do-over!

Cheryl: Jim!
[Startles him awake]
Jim: [Groggily] Huh?
Cheryl: Can you watch the kids while I do laundry?
Jim: Uh, I'm kinda in the middle of something here.
Cheryl: [Looking out the kitchen window] You DO realize I can see you?
Jim: [Waves timidly] Hello... .
Ruby: [Running out with Gracie] Daddy, will you play a game with us?
Gracie: We want to play a game!
Jim: OK...
[Reaches into his pocket]
Jim: Let's play Find the Quarter.
[Flings something into the shrubbery]
Ruby,209088: Yeah!
Jim: Remember, whoever fonds the quarter wins a penny!

Ruby: Daddy, since Gracie won, can Kyle and I have popsicles?
Jim: How does that work?
Ruby: She's our sister, we're part of her posse.