Top 50 Quotes From Monsters University

Terry: [as the First Challenge of the Scare Games is about to start] Good luck, ladies.
PNK: Thanks! We're gonna rip you to pieces!
[She and the her Teammates hiss at Mike's Team with their Eyes Glowing Red]

Sulley: [to Mike, as he leaves the Campus] You're not scary. Not even a little bit. But you are fearless, and if Dean Hardscrabble can't see that, then she can just...
Dean: [Interrupting] I can just... what? Careful, Mister Sullivan, I was just starting to warm up to you.
Sulley: ...sorry.

Johnny: [During the party at the RORs while all of Mike's team is standing in the centre] Let's give it up the Oozma Kappa.
[out of nowhere, a monster dumps loads of paint onto Mike and the rest of his Teammates, much to their surprise]
Johnny: The most *adorable* monsters on campus.
[Other ROR members begin firing glitter towards the Oozmas as the other monsters around them begin to laugh, making them look even more humiliated]
Johnny: [to Randy] Release the Stuffed Animals.
[Randy materialises in front of a rope which he pulls, releasing a number of monstrous stuffed animals onto Mike's team, then a photo of it is taken]

[as Mike approaches his dorm, his roommate pops out]
Randy: Hey there, Im your roommate! Names Randy Boggs, Scaring major!
Mike: [laughs] Mike Wazowski, Scaring major.
Randy: I can tell were gonna be best chums, Mike. Take whatever bed you want, I wanted you to have first dibs.
[a monster student bumps into him, making him yelp and turn completely invisible, with only his glasses remaining visible]
Mike: [gasps] You just disappeared.
Randy: [turns visible again] Sorry. If I do that in scaring class, I'll be a joke.
Mike: No, its totally great, you gotta use it.
Randy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, but lose the glasses, they give it away.
[Randy removes his glasses, and his eyes start to squint]

[Mike and Sulley have managed to successfully catch Fear Tech's Mascot, Archie the Scare Pig, after chasing him across the Campus]
Sulley: Fear Tech's Mascot. MU RULES!
[Sulley lifts Mike and the Pig up into the air to show his Victory to the Other Students on Campus]

[Mike and Sulley are working in the mail room at Monsters Inc]
Yeti: Alright, newbies. Quit goofing around. I'll have you know that tampering with the mail is punishable by banishment.
Sulley: Yes Sir.
Mike: We're right on it Mr. Snowman.

Young: I found a nickel! Sure wish I had pockets.

[It is Mike and Sulley's first day working on the Monsters, inc. Scare Floor]
Merv: Wazowski, good luck on your first day!
Mike: Thanks, Merv!
[Mike smiles as other monsters congratulate him as well]
Mike: Thanks, fellas!
[pauses at the line in front of the scare floor that he stepped over as a child at the start of the film]
Sulley: You coming, coach?
Mike: You better believe it.

Sulley: [On the Day of the Final Exam] I'm gonna wipe the floor with that little know-it-all.
Johnny: Yes you are.
[Takes Sulley's ROR Jacket]

[Mike and Sulley are being escorted out of the door lab by the CDA after causing the door they went through to explode with the big scare]
Squishy: What's gonna happen to them?
Roz: That's for the university president to decide, but I can assure you we'll always be watching these two. Always watching.

Don: Sherrie and I are engaged.
Mike: Who's Sherrie?
Squishy: [Embarrased] She's my Mom.
Don: Don't worry, Scott. I don't want you to think of me as your new dad. After all, we're fraternity brothers first.
Squishy: This is so weird.
Don: Just think of me as your big brother that's marrying your mother. Wait, hold on, we're brothers who share the same mom slash wife. That's worse.

[In the 2nd Challenge of the Scare Games set in the Campus Library, Mike's Team and Slugma Slugma Kappa are the only ones left to obtain their Team Flags at the end of the Library Corridor hanging on a Statue]
Greek: In a real scare, you do not wanna get get by a kid's parent, and in this event, you do not wanna get caught by...
Greek: [Whispering] The Librarian.
Librarian: [At her desk] Shh, Quiet.
Terry: What's so scary about a little old librarian?
[a Blue Monster nearby who's not part of any of the teams accidentally creaks on a Floor Board, sending the 50ft Librarian over, grabbing him with one of her Massive Tentacles]
Librarian: [More Menacingly, staring the Monster in the eyes] I said *Quiet*.
[the Librarian sends the Terrified Monster out the window, and into a nearby river]

[the Slug from the start of the film finally makes it to Class]
Slug: [Exhausted] Thank Goodness. I made it. First Day of Class.
[Noticing no-one there but a Janitor]
Slug: Hey, where did everyone go?
Janitor: The School Year's over kid. You *missed* it.
[the Slug behind to leave the room, once again at a Slow Rate]

[Frank McCay, right after doing his scare on the Scare Floor, is surprised to see Mike right behind him]
Frank: That was real dangerous kid! I didn't even know you were in there. Wow. I didn't even know you were in there. Not bad, kid!
[Gives Mike his MU Cap]
Mrs. Graves: Michael! What do you have to say for yourself?
Young: How do I become a Scarer?

Sulley: I act scary, Mike. But most of the time, I'm terrified.
Mike: How come you never told me that before?
Sulley: Because we weren't friends before.

[In the First Challenge of the Scare Games, Mike and Sulley arrive badly stung from the Glowing Purple Urchins at the finish line, just behind the RORs]
Chet: Way to blow it, Oozmas!
Mike: Hey, 2nd place ain't bad.
Greek: [Jaws Theta Chi arrive behind them, unharmed] 2nd place, Jaws Theta Chi!
Mike: *What*?
Johnny: Your whole team has to cross the finish line.
Greek: 3rd place, EEKs. 4th place, PNKs. 5th place, HSS. And in last place...
[the rest of Mike and Sulley's team arrive, even more badly stung from the urchins than they are]
Greek: ...Oozma Kappa!
Greek: [Removing Oozma Kappa's name from the Leaderboard] Oozma Kappa have been eliminated!
[Dean Hardscrabble approaches a surprised and upset Mike, smiling]
Dean: Don't look so surprised Mr. Wazowski. It would've taken a miracle for...
Greek: Attention everyone, we have an announcement. Jaws Theta Chi have been disqualified.
[Holds up a tin of Protective Gel that they've been using]
Greek: The use of illegal protective gel is cause for elimination.
Big: What?
[the referee removes the moisture from George Sanderson's leg, then stabs it with an Urchin, causing it to swell up like a balloon, with George screaming in pain]
Greek: [Removing Jaws Theta Chi from the Leaderboard and adding Oozma Kappa back on] Which means that Oozma Kappa's back in the games - it's a miracle!
Dean: Your luck will run out eventually.
[Walks away]
Mike: This is gonna be harder than I thought.

[the RORs are selling all kinds of media with the humiliating photo of Oozma Kappa from their party the previous night]
Mike: Hey, what do you think you're doing?
Johnny: Raising a little money for charity.
Mike: Yeah, well stop it!
Johnny: You want us to stop raising money for charity? That's not cool.
Chet: This guy hates charity
Mike: [angrily] We'd like you to stop making us look like fools.
Johnny: Hey, you're making yourself look like fools. Lets be honest, boys. You're never gonna be real scarers, cause real scarers look like us. But hey, if you really wanna work for a scaring company, they're always... hiring in the mail room.
[Johnny shows Mike and his team an advertisement in the Newspapers for the Monsters, Inc. Mailroom]

[Mike hasn't had luck finding someone to join his team to compete in the Scare Games and get back into the Scaring Program]
Greek: This doesn't look good. We really need to move on, your team doesn't Qualify.
Sulley: Yes it does.
[Climbs onto of a nearby vehicle]
Sulley: The star player has just arrived.
Mike: [Surprised] No No No. Please, anybody but him.
Greek: [Losing her Patience] Look, we're shutting down sign ups, OK? Is he on your team or not?
[Mike, aware that he signed up at the Last Minute, knows he hasn't got much a choice, seeing that no-one else is interested in joining his team, and he's really determined to get into the Scare Games to prove Dean Hardscrabble that he and his team really are scary. Sulley points at him and winks]
Mike: Fine. Yes, he's on my team.
[the Crowd starts to cheer, with the Scare Games about to start]

[as Sully and Mikey leave to Compete in the Scare Games with the rest of their team]
Dean: Good luck.

[Sulley rushes to the Door Making Lab, where Dean Hardscrabble is with some Campus Security Guards]
Dean: No-one goes near this door until the authorities arrive!
Squishy: [Sulley gets approached by the Rest of his Team] James wait, we can help.
Sulley: Look, it's my fault Mike got into this, so it's up to me to get him out of it.
Don: Leave it to the old master of sales.
[Walks up to to Dean Hardscrabble and the Security Guards]
Don: Hi there. Don Carlton, Sales Person. How often have you asked yourselves the following question?
Dean: Arrest him.
[the Security Guards press Don up against the wall, allowing the coast to be clear for Sulley to get to the door]
MU: [to Don] Up against the wall *Pops*.
Dean: [Noticing Sulley] Sullivan, don't you dare.
[desperate, Sully enters the door that Mike went through into the Human World]

Mike: I've been waiting for this my whole life! I'm gonna be a scarer!

[Mike has received his Student ID Card, though it only shows the Top of his Head]
Mike: I can't believe it.
Mike: [Out Loud] I'm Officially a COLLEGE STUDENT!

Dean: [Sulley tells Dean Hardscrabble and Professor Knight of how he rigged the Scare Simulator] You did what?
Sulley: My team had nothing to do with it. It was all me. I cheated.
Dean: I expect you off campus by tomorrow.
Sulley: [in dismay] Yes ma'am.
Dean: You're a disgrace to this university... and your family name.

Dean: Scariness is the true measure of a monster. If you're not scary, what kind of a monster are you?

Dean: [after kicking Sulley off the Program] And, Mr. Wazowski, what you lack is something that cannot be taught. You're not scary. You will not be continuing in the Scare Program.
Mike: Please, let me try the Simulator. I'll surprise you.
Dean: Surprise me? I doubt that very much.

Mike: Um, h... hello? Fellas?
[as he and Sulley walk down the basement into a candlelit are, where O.K fraternity surround it, wearing black cloaks]
Don: Do you pledge your souls to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood?
Mike: [Terri and Terry hit Mike with a cricket bat] OW!
Terry: Do you swear to keep secret.
Terri: All that you learn here?
Art: No matter how horrifying?
Sulley: [Squishy hits Sulley with cricket bat] Hey!
Squishy: Will take the scared oath of the...
[initiation interrupted by someone, turning on the lights]
Don: For crying out loud.
Ms. Squibbles: Sweetie! Turn the lights on when you're down here. You're going ruin your eyes.
Squishy: MOM, WE'RE DOING AN INITIATION!
Ms. Squibbles: Oh, scary! Well, carry on. Just pretend I'm not here
[turns off half the lights, and walk downstairs to the washing machine]
Squishy: This is my mom's house. Do you promise to look out for your brothers?
[Mrs. Squibbles turns on the laundry dial loudly]
Squishy: No matter what the peril?
[Laundry machine runs noisily]
Squishy: ... WILL YOU DEFEND OOZMA KAPPA? NO MATTER HOW DANGEROUS? NO MATTER HOW INSURMOUNTABLE THE ODDS MAY BE? FROM EVILS BOTH GREAT AND SMALL? IN THE FACE OF UNENDING PAIN AND... OH FORGET IT! You're in.

[after being humiliated from Sulley's performance during the Final Challenge in the Scare Games]
Randy: That's the last time I lose to you, Sullivan!

Dean: Mr. Sullivan. I am a seven year old boy...
[Sulley roars before Dean Hardscrabble can finish]
Dean: I wasn't finished.
Sulley: I don't need to know any of that stuff to scare.
Dean: That 'stuff' would've informed you that this particular child is afraid of snakes. So a Roar wouldn't make him scream, it would make him cry, alerting his parents, exposing the monster world, destroying life as we know it. And of course we can't have that. So I cannot recommend that you continue in the Scare Program. Good day.
Sulley: [confused] But I'm a Sullivan.
Dean: Well then, I'm sure your family will be very disappointed.
[Johnny and the Rest of the RORs, having been watching nearby, leave the gallery, taking Sulley's ROR Jacket with him]

[as the Oozmas are watching the Scare Floor at Monsters Inc. in order for Mike to show them what it takes to be Scarers, they soon get caught by the Security Guards with their flashlights]
Security: Hey, what are you doing up there?
Art: [Panicking] I can't go back to jail!

Greek: [Referring to a Purple Glowing Urchin] Trust me when I say you are not gonna want to touch this bad boy!
Art: I wanna touch it!

Dean: It's my job to make great students greater, not make mediocre students less mediocre.

Mike: My chances are just as good as yours
Sulley: You're not even in the same league with me.
Mike: Just wait, hotshot. I'm gonna scare circles around you this year.

Dean: You two have managed to accomplish something together no one ever has: you surprised me.

Professor: Show me some slobber! Drool is a tool, kids. Use it!

[From the Teaser Trailer, Mike walks out of his dorm with Silver Plates glued to him, with other Monsters Partying outside]
Mike: [laughs] OK. Very Funny Sullivan.
Sulley: You look great Wazowski!
Mike: You know, if you're gonna prank someone. The least you can do is think of something clever.
[Sulley switches off the lights, and Mike begins to shine like a Crystal Ball as all the Other Monsters begin to party]

Mike: [Before the First Scare Games Challenge starts] Squishy. We're not gonna lose, because we have everything we need to win right here.
[points to his chest]
Squishy: [smiling] Heart.
Mike: No, me! I'm gonna win the race for us.

Don: Want to join Oozma Kappa?
Squishy: We've got cake!
[a Big Monster walks by and eats the cake, every slice]

[Dean Hardscrabble has turned off the door to the Human World that Mike and Sulley went into, before they could even get back out]
Don: They're still in there.
Dean: Until the Authorities arrives, this door stays off.
Squishy: *No*! You can't do this.
[he and the others begin to walk over, only to be held back]
Dean: [Raising her wings] ENOUGH! I WANT THIS ROOM CLEARED NOW!
[Everyone begins to back away out of the room slowly]

Sulley: You don't need to study scaring, you just do it.

[In the human world, Sulley is able to find Mike sitting sadly by the Pond]
Sulley: Psst Mike. Look, I'm sorry I messed up. Now let's get you outta here.
Mike: You were right. They weren't scared of me. I did everything right. I wanted it more than anyone. And I thought... I thought that if I wanted it enough I could show everybody that Mike Wazowski is something special. And I'm just... not.
[brushes his reflection away in the water]
Sulley: Look, Mike, I know how you feel.
Mike: [angrily] Don't do that! Please don't do that! You do not know how I feel!
Sulley: Mike, calm down.
Mike: Monsters like you have everything! You don't have to be good! You can mess up over and over again, and the whole world loves you!
Sulley: Mike!
Mike: You'll never know what it's like to fail, because you were born a Sullivan!
Sulley: Yeah I'm the Sullivan! I'm the Sullivan that flunked every test, the one who got kicked out of the program, the one who was so afraid to let everyone down that I cheated! And I lied!
Sulley: [sighs] Mike, I'll never know how you feel. But you're not the only failure here.

Sulley: [Introducing himself] James P. Sullivan.
Mike: Mike Wazowski.

Slug: I can't be late on the first day!
[Starts huffing and puffing as he crawls at a slow rate]

[while trying to find someone to join his team for the Scare Games, Mike spots his Roommate Randy in the Crowd]
Randy: Excuse me. I'm running a little late.
Mike: Randy! Thank goodness, I need you on my team.
Randy: Sorry Mike. I'm already on a team.
[Randy walks out of the crowd, revealing a ROR Jacket that he received after Sulley was kicked out of their team, much to Mike's shock]
Randy: I'm finally in with the cool kids, Mike. Don't blow this for me.
Johnny: [Calling out] Hey Boggs, over here.
[Randy walks over to the Rest of the RORS]
Johnny: Do your thing.
[Randy turns invisible, leaving only his jacket visible]
Chet: Woah, where did he go?

Sulley: You're wasting your time. We need a new team.
Mike: We can't just 'get a new team'! I checked this morning, it's against the rules.

[On the First Morning in the Oozma Kappa Fraternity home, Mike's lips press against Sulley's hand, and Sulley falls off the bunk after the alarm goes off]
Sulley: What happened?
Mike: Your grubby paw was in my bed!
Sulley: Were you kissing my hand?
Mike: [laughs] No! And what about you with all your shedding?
Sulley: I don't shed.
Mike: Really?
[punches the mattress of the top bunk and Sulley's hair falls everywhere]

Johnny: Enjoy the attention while it lasts, boys. After you lose, no one will remember you.
Mike: Maybe. But when you lose, no one will let you forget it.
Chet: Oh, boy. That is a good point.

[In the Teaser, having roped Mike with the Small Mirrors glued to him to a fan]
Sulley: I Love College.
[Snaps Photo of Mike as he slowly circles the room like a Disco Ball]

[Mike notices that his settings on the Scare Simulator had been set to the Lowest Difficult instead of the Highest like the others, which is how he was able to mysteriously make a Record Breaking Scare to successfully beat the RORs in the Final Challenge of the Scare Games]
Mike: [shocked] It's been tampered with.
Sulley: Uh, I don't think you should be messing with that.
Mike: Why are my settings... different?
Sulley: Mike, we should leave.
Mike: Did you do this?
Sulley: Mike...
Mike: [louder] Did you do this?
Sulley: [sighs] Yes I did. But... you don't understand...
Mike: Why? Why did you do this?
Sulley: You know... just in case.
Mike: [angrily] In case of what? You don't think I'm scary. You said you believed in me. But you're just like Hardscrabble, you're just like everyone else!
Sulley: Look, you'll get better and better...
Mike: I'm as scary as you! I'm as scary as anyone!
Sulley: I was just trying to help!
Mike: No! You just wanted to help yourself!
Sulley: Well, what else was I supposed to do? Let the whole team fail because you don't have it?
[offended, Mike storms off. Nearby, their Teammates heard everything, and Squishy sadly places their trophy onto the ground]

Professor: [to Mike, during one of the Scaring Sessions] Great Improvement Michael.
Professor: [to Sulley, while making his same old scary face] One fierce look is *not* what it takes Mr. Sullivan.

Don: [to Reggie from the RORs during the Final Challenge of the Scare Games] Thanks for taking it Easy on Grandpa!