The Best Weekend Update Anchor Quotes

Weekend: This week, our Supreme Court judges began calling themselves "Justice", instead of the more formal "Mr. Justice." Regarding the new informality, Justice Wizzer White said he thought the change was "kind of jazzy." And Justice "Potty" Stewart commented, "That may be slick for the Whizzer, but, for me, it's Nowheresville." And Warren "The Big Cheese" Burger, added, "Boop boop de boop!"

Hick: [referring to Cooter] 'Sides, he's your son.
Hick: Well, shoot! You married 'im! 'Sides, he's your brother!
Hick: I thought he was your brother?

[the scene that got Charles Rocket fired from the show]
Charlene: Charlie, how are you feeling after you've been shot?
Charles: Oh, man, it's the first time I've been shot in my life. I'd like to know who the fuck did it.

Weekend: Well, during the Senate confirmation hearings, Alexander "General" Haig -General Alexander Haig said that the MX missile is the key to our country's defense. Here, we see Mr. Haig swallowing that key. Later, when asked about the neutron bomb, he replied: "You know, I don't believe in using a weapon designed to destroy only human life. After all, part of the fun is watching the buildings blow up!"