The Best Aku Quotes

Aku: [appearing to Jack after 50 years] Samurai Jack!
Samurai: Aku!
Ashi: Aku?
Aku: It has been too long. Far, far too long, but you're probably saying to yourself...
Samurai: [Aku imitating Jack] "Why? Why now for our sudden reunion?"
Aku: [normal voice] Well, A little birdie told me...
Scaramouche: ...that Samurai Jack has lost the one thing in the entire universe that can destroy Aku!
[laughs manically along with Aku]
Aku: YOU FOOL!
[Jack reveals he *does* have the sword]
Aku: Huh?
[glares at Scaramouche]
Scaramouche: Oh, but, Master, I...
[his head blows up]

Aku: [as doctor] So, tell me what's been bothering you.
Aku: [as Aku] Well, you see, doc, it's been over fifty years already.
Aku: [as doctor] It's been that long?
Aku: [as Aku] Yes, you see, that's the actual problem. Once I eradicated all the time portals, I thought I would just wait it out and then, the Samur...
Aku: [as doctor] We don't say his name here, it is a safe place.
Aku: [as Aku] Yes, sorry, doctor. Well, I just assumed that eventually over time, he will just...
Aku: [Both yell] DIIIIIIIE!
Aku: [as Aku] But he hasn't even aged. I mean like at all! He just grew that stupid beard. It looks like he'll be here forever! I, I just don't know if I can handle that!
Aku: [as doctor] Yes, it seems that the initial time travel has affected the aging process. It's quite the conundrum.
Aku: [as Aku] Yes! Eh, w-what is that again?
Aku: [as doctor] Just a confusing, a difficult problem.
Aku: [as Aku] Yes, problem. I wish there was someone who can dispose of my problem.
Aku: [Both] Yes, one can hope.

The: You're not going anywhere, you big buffoon!
Aku: I am sorry, old man. I think you are lost.
The: I ain't lost, ya tree ogre. I might be old, but I've lived long enough to see the world rise against your tyranny! Admit it, ya big oaf! You're scared. The samurai is still out there inspiring people by the thousands. After all these years, you're powerless against him. You've been shivering like a wee baby, hiding in your crib, afraid to show yourself 'cause ya know he's out there, and you can't do anything about it! You're just a big baby! Why don't you go cry to your mama?
[Aku incinerates him]
Aku: Now why did he mention the samurai?

Aku: Is he dead?
Ashi: No. And he never will be.
Aku: How dare you talk back to your father!
Ashi: No, you're not my father!
Aku: Yes I am!
Ashi: No you're not!

Past: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku!
Aku: ...NOT! Because, after all these years, I have finally captured SAMURAI JACK AND THE SWORD!
[cackles evilly]
The: No!
Ravers: Samurai!
Ringo: Jack?
Woolie: Oh no!
Monkey: Friend.
Rothchild: Oh, dear.
Aku: To all those fools who dare oppose me, your hero is dead! Your hope is dead! I am the one true master! Let this be a lesson to all! TIME TO DIE, SAMURAI JACK!

Aku: [sends Jack through the portal] Do not worry, samurai. You will see me again. But next time, you will not be so fortunate...
[Jack and Ashi appear]
Aku: What? You're back already?

Samurai: Ashi, you have Aku's powers!
Ashi: [gasp] I do!
[Ashi and Jack open a time portal and go through]
Aku: Oh, no.