The Best Aziz Ansari Quotes

Squint: [throwing blades at Manny] Hit the mammoth, win a prize!

Matty: Man, that opening party was incredible. Check out the pictures on Myspace. There's one of me eating cheese off some girl's titties.
Aaron: Please just lie to me and say I didn't miss another awesome party.
Matty: You missed an awesome party. I woke up with glitter on my dick.