The Best Aaron Green Quotes

Aaron: [has just been injected with adrenaline] I'm alive!

Aaron: Are you Paul Krugman?
Paul: Uh, yeah.
Aaron: My dad loves your shit.
Paul: Uh, thank you.

Aaron: I think I just got raped.
Aldous: [handing him a joint] Only one thing to do.
Aaron: [taking a hit] Uh, guys? What is this stuff? My heart's going really fast.
Aldous: Oh, it's a bit of this, a bit of that. It's called a Jeffrey. It's mostly weed, with a bit of opium as well... ground-up E's... heroin... Clorox...
Aaron: I think I'm having a heart attack.

Limousine: Would you like me to take the Chiswick roundabout through Hounslow and Staines?
Aaron: What is this, fucking Middle Earth? Just take us to the airport, okay.

Aldous: I labored under the myth of monogamy for sever years with Jackie and it was pointless.
Aaron: So you only slept with Jackie?
Aldous: No, I slept with other people but I always told her about it. Monogamy.

Aaron: Nothing you say makes any sense, I understand that now, you're just a fucking junkie and you're smart so you make your insanity sound, good but its bullshit.

Sergio: You've been mind-fucked before?
Aaron: I don't think so.
Sergio: I'm mind-fucking you right now.
Aaron: You are?
Sergio: Can't you feel my dick fucking your mind?
Aaron: No, I can't really feel anything.
Sergio: See? That's it. That's the art of it. I'm mind-fucking the shit out of you.
Aaron: Well I hope you're wearing a condom cause I have a dirty mind.

Matty: Man, that opening party was incredible. Check out the pictures on Myspace. There's one of me eating cheese off some girl's titties.
Aaron: Please just lie to me and say I didn't miss another awesome party.
Matty: You missed an awesome party. I woke up with glitter on my dick.

Aldous: Aaron, look at what you're wearing. Do you think that now you live in Seattle, you're grunge or something? You look like a lesbian.
Aaron: Play the song, man.

Aaron: I feel like I'm in "2 Fast 2 Furious."

Aldous: We're gonna fuck these two girls.
Aaron: I just got out of a relationship.
Aldous: Was your ex a blonde or brunette?
Aaron: Brunette.
Aldous: Blonde it is.

Sergio: Stop smiling like that. You look like an 8 year old who just discovered his first boner.
Aaron: ...Well I don't have one so...

Aaron: Across the mystic desert, is a desert that is mystic.

Aaron: Do you know the lyrics to "African Child"?
Smiling: I don't know the lyrics. I just bang the drum and do the African face.
[He shows Aaron his version of playing the African drum]

Aaron: [Aaron has a balloon full of heroin up his ass] Oh, no.
Aldous: What?
Aaron: I have to sneeze... and I'm afraid that if I do... my bowels will evacuate...

Aaron: [as Sergio is chasing after them in a hotel lobby] This is the longest hallway of all time!
Aldous: It's Kubrickian!

Aaron: [at a club] What's up man?
Tom: Hey.
Aaron: I'm here with Aldous Snow, so we have a table in the back.
Tom: [not interested] Great.
Aaron: Feel free to bring Professor Snape. Come by, we'll play some late night Quidditch.
Tom: Just leave it, you...
[walks away]
Aaron: Right. Not everyone cares.