The Best Eugene Sleighbough Quotes

Mac: Eugene Sleighbough, attempted burglary.
Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Uh, Your Honor, the people acknowledge the fact that there may be a special circumstance where Mr. Sleighbough is concerned.
Judge Harry T. Stone: Special in what way?
Eugene: I'm invisible.

Eugene: You can't see me, can you?
Judge Harry T. Stone: [bluffing] Well, certainly I can.
Eugene: Oh, yeah? How many fingers am I holding up?
Judge Harry T. Stone: It better not be just one.

Judge Harry T. Stone: Mr. Sleighbough, when did you first discover you had this talent to become invisible?
Eugene: Well, it came on sort of gradually. See, at first, I was just boring. But then, I became inconspicuous.
Judge Harry T. Stone: Oh.
Eugene: Yeah, you know, like I'd be waiting in a doctor's office, or restaurant, or a barber shop, you know, whatever? And finally they'd say, "oh, I didn't see you there!" That's when it first began to take hold.
Judge Harry T. Stone: And now?
Eugene: I'm fully invisible! Yeah, I can be standing on the corner, yelling and waving my arms, cabbies are going right by and never even notice me!
Judge Harry T. Stone: In New York City, imagine that.

Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: It seems as though that Mr. Sleighbough tried to take advantage of his "condition" by robbing a fifth story Park Avenue apartment in the middle of the afternoon.
Eugene: Yeah, it's perfect for me! See, I can slip in and out, completely unnoticed.
Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Except for the several hundred people who saw you inching along the ledge.
Eugene: Ah, that was probably a fluke. See, they probably used some kind of heat-sensing device.
Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding: Yes. It's called sunlight.