The Best Jane Lindhurst Quotes

[Petra enters Sam's/Joe's dressing room, only covered with a towel]
Petra: Hi.
Admiral: [delighted] Ophelia!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Petra, hi. Oh!
[he accidentally drops his own towel]
Petra: [also dropping her towel and throwing herself onto Sam] Joe! Oh...
Jane: [entering with her family] Joe!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Jane?
Neil: Mom.
Jane: [leaving] Ted!
Ted: [following her] Uh, Jane...
Admiral: [still drooling] Ophelia.
Liz: Neil!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, boy.

Ted: You know, when you left, Cleveland lost its prettiest girl.
Jane: And when you left, Cleveland lost its biggest liar.

Petra: [to Sam, after he has performed as Hamlet] It's really intense watching you.
Jane: I know just what you mean.
Petra: I didn't know your mother was coming.
Jane: "Mother"?
Admiral: Mother? Every guy should have a mother like that. That is if she's your mother...
[Jane kisses Sam passionately]
Admiral: I hope she's not your mother!

Neil: [as he barges in on a hanky-panky between his mother and Sam] My God, Mom! What would Dad say?
["Oh, boy" pause]
Neil: I mean... what would he say?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Joe] I can well imagine that this might look a little, you know...
Jane: Neil, your father has been dead for three years, and not once during that time has he said a word. I don't think he's gonna start now.

Neil: [to Jane] Tonight, we'd like to take you someplace special.
Liz: Uh...
Neil: Your choice.
Liz: We want your fiftieth birthday to be one you won't forget.
Jane: Oh, boy.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Hmm, you can say that again.